Is this reasonable for my standards for a man?

Question

My standards for a man.

Investigator · Accepted Answer

I think it's possible for standards to be so low as to be unreasonable. Demanding your guy be 6', make 6 figures and have a 6 pack is the popular trope, but the inverse of that would be this chart.

Let's start with income: $20,000/year is $10/hour. According to this Wikipedia page (assuming these numbers are even remotely accurate), if the guy is working minimum wage and ~$20k a years is the earnings floor, then only Ohio, Michigan, Nebraska, Nevada, Minnesota, South Dakota and Alaska fit that bill. ~1/5 of the United States are below or at the federal minimum wage of $7.25/hour (which should mean that housing and other accommodations are dirt-cheat, relative to states like New York or California, who top the chart for minimum wage and cost of housing) and the other ~1/5 are above it by a little or a lot. Given those conditions, any place where supply networks are sparse should be doable, because otherwise they would be in high-demand, and therefore unaffordable--at least, presently.

As for "at least 5'3" tall", that is rather unusual, but not inherently wrong. Most women are 5'4" and want their man to be taller than them. Sometimes, the woman's height preference can be a little unreasonable in relation to her size. Years ago, I was sleeping with this chubby black girl from D. C. who was 4'10". She said she wouldn't be with a guy shorter than 5'7", because she "doesn't want short kids". I found, and still find that, kinda dumb but I guess it makes sense if you consider how your size changes people's perception of you, i. e. short-man syndrome, and you want to avoid as many disadvantages for your offspring as possible (although it's not very hard to make the case that that line of thinking has parallels with eugenics, but that's a thread for another day). If that works for you, then more power to you. Just don't do it "because height-challenged guys are constantly getting the short end of the stick", as that sounds like pity and men don't want to be pitied, they want to be respected. That's just as bad as going for tall guys because they are tall.

"Any race" is fine, as long as your cultural values align. "Any weight" sounds good in theory, but a 5'3" 200 lb man is very few people's ideal, so perhaps you need to establish a floor for heft.

I think this list is reasonable in some ways and unreasonable in others. A lot of these benchmarks are very doable, although in aggregate, the fact that the bar is so close to the ground comes across like "any hobo off the street will do". Is this list really what you want, or are you afraid to close too many doors, for fear of judgment and exclusion, preferring instead to cast your options as wide as possible?

For example, it is [current year] and transgenderism is the "hot button thing" right now in the public consciousness. Does your guy have to be cis-gendered or is a trans man just as good? I don't bring this up to cause problems, merely to raise a moral complication that is at the forefront of politics, and GAG is a platform for debate.

Food for thought

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Honestly those are not unreasonable standards, but at the same time as a man I’m saying you’re shooting for the bottom of the barrel. Meaning the lowest standards, maybe not the lowest but pretty low. Doesn’t hurt to raise your standards a little w out journeying into Disneyland Princess mode. I think 5’3” is ok if you’re shorter than that, even if you’re taller if you’re ok w that. But weight wise, if he’s 5’3” at 200 lbs, no bueno. At least someone that is fit. I don’t mean beast mode either ripped, 6 days a week at the gym, unless you like that too. Just someone who takes a little pride in their appearance. Trust me a lot of that can take a toll on your relationship later down the road. I get that everyone may get sick at one time or another down the road as we age, but w stats like that it just increases the chances of health issues. As for the income, $20,000 would be something you’d start out at like at a fast food restaurant. I think nowadays they may pay even more than that, but as you get older moving up that pyramid of money, your income should increase. So if he’s 18 making $20,000 a year that’s a start, but he should aspire to more. Especially if you’d like to have a family one day.

Pinay_ako · Accepted Answer

It’s reasonable but gotta raise the bar a little but you’re younger so you will meet a lot of men in your life and probably change your taste/standards later on.

Apple1996 · Accepted Answer

These are low standards that any basic dude can meet

Summeroflove · Answer

Have whatever standards you want. See people wanna get angry and offended. We’re all looking for something different. I think there’s someone for everyone.

If you don’t fit someone’s standards then just move on…. That’s all I really have to say.

I don’t know where your heart is. If you can love someone then great.

Some people think being romantically rejected is being rejected as a person. It’s not…. It’s really not. Just because someone isn’t attracted to someone doesn’t mean they see them as less of a person.

It hurts sometimes. But it’s not going to do any good to try and change someone’s mind

AviatorTom · Answer

Those are pretty low standards... doesn't rule out many men, other than the married ones.

ohsheeT · Answer

Well they're your standards so if that's what you want the first two I can understand that the third one it has to be at least 75 to 100,000 minimum otherwise you're not going to have anything in life you want to be able to live a little bit better than that I think but it's your choice

richardcory · Answer

You probably have some age limits as well.

The income depends a lot on their situation. A graduate student might make less than that, but once they graduate they will make far more. OTOH, 20K/year is very very low for someone established in a career.

Where I worked previously, starting salary for an engineer was around $100K/year.

JSmuve · Answer

At your age, that's pretty high bar for income. How many 18-24 year olds are pulling in that kind of money? The majority are in school full-time. Even if someone worked 20 hours/week for an entire year, making $15/hour, they'd only gross less than $16k. Probably need to lower your bar a bit more there.

turnpost · Answer

I feel like these are standard men would post for a girl. lol but regardless my take on it.

When you start dating you will realize that you will have personality requirements as well as belief requirements.

Money thing I don't know how old this post is or what currency or what country so I don't know.

The height thing is great. Language requirement

Sex requirement and what sex are they attracted to requirment

BCA6010 · Answer

Men under 5'3 are less than 1% of the male population, so what you're basically saying is almost any guy who isn't married and has a job. There's nothing inherently wrong with that, but that's an extremely broad demographic.

inhua · Answer

lol people here are trying to change your standards anyway you could ditch those 5 and replace them with "must treat me well and love me"

Haha456 · Answer

if those are your only standards, I can tell you are new to dating.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

That is pretty reasonable. I tend not to categorize things as people never fit the filter criteria based on where they are in life.

Spongebobssocks · Answer

Yeah I think its too low but it depends on your past.

SlothySlob · Answer

Considering, from my limited and very specific viewpoint on the US, the +$20,000 a year might be extravagant.

Adam1978 · Answer

I think you have higher expectations than that. That's not the full list.

slatyb · Answer

That basically only excludes married men and the unemployed.

Count_de_Monte_Volo · Answer

Depends on the country. If it’s America, pretty low. I’m not going to say if low is good or bad because I don’t know.

TacosRAwesome · Answer

What standards? That's the girl equivalent of I'll fuck her if she has a heartbeat. (Terrible paraphrasing of course).

Ryfyle · Answer

How a man supposed to take care of you with 20,000$ a year? Didn't list a credit score? Didn't ask the color of his Bugati? Why would you settle for a loser manlet at the minimum?

LiamJHayden · Answer

lol Get ready for the guys who are 5'2 to start complaining.

Anonymous · Answer

I think you just opened doors for the majority of legal men. So yea. I’d change 2 of them but thats me

Shamalien · Answer

That’s beyond reasonable. So low standards compared to what I’m used to hearing. 20k a year is trailer park level

shades777 · Answer

their very low and very high at the same time, almost hilariously unrealistic

zagor · Answer

That's a pretty low bar. Unless he's a FT student, in which case the 20K may be tough.

najekim · Answer

As long as you're flexible somewhat. The income may be a little high for a college student.

Guardian45 · Answer

Probably good! Seek Health, Happiness and Love! You CAN'T beat it!

Anonymous · Answer

Reasonable to some not to others. I only see a problem with 3 of your choices.

Luvpupy9 · Answer

Everyone has standards. Reason is in the eye of the beholder.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Sounds good to me.

WanderingLoveWizard · Answer

So pretty much any single dude will do

MzAsh · Answer

You’re setting the bar pretty low here.

LazerBean · Answer

It's definitely minimal.

asphaltrhymes · Answer

Seems very 🎊🥳👍🏻🥳

RavVid · Answer

I would have to say you are very flexible

jshm2 · Answer

Eh.. That is just any teen school kid!

mobiusforniner · Answer

Dammit. Failed item 1...

MementoMori777 · Answer

It does seem reasonable

glennos89 · Answer

Yes its perfectly reasonable

DarkLegacy · Answer

To be fair, very reasonable

ImalwaysrightOK · Answer

Very reasonable. Actually pretty low.

exitseven · Answer

I would say they are pretty low.

Googlemyahoo · Answer

20000 k /year lol

gorydetails · Answer

I think that should be easy to accomplish.

In_Trance · Answer

Depends what you bring to the table

Keishio · Answer

I'd say it's very reasonable

Amishaxx · Answer

Yes, I believe so

LogicBomber · Answer

Age range?

shortster · Answer

More than.

Is this reasonable for my standards for a man?

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