Men, Is This Asking For Too Much?

[Anonymous]

Or is he just lazy. My boyfriend (30 yr old) subscribes a lot to semi traditional roles. (My bank account says we don't but hey, i paid for couches, his ps5, most of household products including food which is expensive) I'm 22 in health care, I usually work the days he is off is usually clean until the am before I go (he won't bc he says it's my job) all I ask of him is to do a bit if vacuuming and keep the litter boxes clean. Got off my shift and ended up doing everything (he didn't even shower), also prepared 3 meals. He threw a fit and said he didn't have to clean bc he pays all of the bills and refused to do larger tnrw while I'm at work. Is this a guy thing it is he just lazy? Am I asking for too much?

Man Thing

Lazy

Updates

2 mo

I also don't put out often because I'm tired and it's hard to be sexually attracted to him when he acts like a man child

[Oliverlogan263]

It doesn't really sound like too much to ask for him to help out with basic chores if you're working long healthcare shifts and taking on most other household tasks. Vacuuming and litter boxes aren't that big of a deal.

Maybe he's just getting too comfortable and lazy since you've been doing so much. It's not really fair of him to expect you to work all day and then come home to an extra job of cleaning. You both live there so you should both help keep things tidy.

What really bugs me is that he threw a fit about it instead of just agreeing to help out his girl. Paying some bills doesn't mean he doesn't have to lift a finger around the house. Living together is supposed to be a team effort.

If I were you, I'd have a serious talk with him. Don't let him think just because you make less money, you're the only one who should clean. Not cool. Stand up for yourself and don't back down til he agrees to pull his weight more. If he's still being lazy after that, you might need to think about if you wanna deal with that long term..

[Asker]

Everything you just said!!! This is maybe the 8th time I've tried to talk to him about this.

[Asker]

Still no change

[Oliverlogan263]

Yikes, that's rough. If you've talked to him about this multiple times already with no change, then I think that really says something about him (and not in a good way).

At that point it doesn't seem like laziness - it's that he just straight up doesn't respect you or value you as an equal partner. He's shown he's not willing to meet you halfway even after you've communicated how important it is. That would be a major red flag for me.

I don't know how much longer I'd wanna keep trying with someone who keeps blowing me off and making me feel taken for granted after multiple chances. You deserve someone who'll put in the effort to make you happy without you begging, ya know?

If he wasn't willing to change by now, my guess is he's perfectly content with the setup as it is cuz he benefits from it. Not cool. You're way too young to settle for that kinda disrespect!

Maybe it's time to have an even more serious talk about how his actions are making you feel like roommates instead of a couple. And if he still doesn't care, you gotta do what's best for you and your happiness in the long run. You've given him plenty of chances already. Just my two cents anyway! Hope things start looking up for you soon.

[Lliam]

Why would you stay with that sluggard? Can you even imagine spending the rest of your life with him? Seriously, you're the problem for putting up with his shit.

Stop wasting your life. You would be better off dumping his worthless ass and finding someone who has gumption and gives a shit about you.

[LazerBean]

What exactly does he do that's traditional?

[Asker]

Exactly. He pays all of the bills but that's about it

[LazerBean]

If you aren't happy, just dump him. Doesn't sound like you would be losing anything