Is it mainly guys fault the reason we focus too much on weight, looks and staying young?

[Anonymous]

How would you feel if society is a vain world that (esp men) tells you ''You're only useful for beauty and youth, nothing else''? Those aren't skills and it tells me nothing about what you really like about me as a person or if you'll have kids with me and stay with me till old age.

They keep selling magazine about fashion models, old guys only with girls in their 20-30's, stories about men that divorced after 20 years of marriage just to replace their wives with a much younger woman, etc. So basically a wife would have to find a magic formula to stay young forever or delay the aging process. He's asking for something impossible. Meanwhile making more money and being successful is a possible goal (an actual skill), staying youthful forever is impossible.

Then several guys keep on wondering why do we get offended if they ask about our weight and only physical aspects questions or why do we focus too much on that. Because you're the ones saying that's the only thing we're useful for.

Yes

No

Other, explain

Updates

+1 y

Men themselves are the ones that keep posting things about hitting the wall thing and saying that girls should've already found a man that wants marriage in their 20's and have kids ASAP. Then again, many guys their age (early 20's too) don't want marriage nor kids so it doesn't make sense.

[jasco]

Society tells us were only useful for our muscle and what we can do for others. Women see us like this to. Both genders have expectations of each other. It's not one sided nor is it a bad thing to have standards for a certain type of man/woman that you want. As for myself I do want a lady who looks young however age is something we all face. My granny looks to be in her 50s or 60 but she's around her 80s. In short I want a woman who takes care of herself. Most men want that. Your only looking at the physical side of things so your only gonna see physical wants. Try looking for more mental wants. Also why do you women keep asking men about how much they make? don't you love me for my personality? See how easy that can be switch? Women seem to only value men for their money, the same as men seem to only value women for their beauty and sexiness. Of course this isn't true for all, most people do value not only physical but mental things. Of course men want someone whose good looking, just like women want someone whose rich. But as you can see most men aren't rich and most women aren't super models. Were average and theirfore most people just want the best that they can get.

[Asker]

I already have my own business so I don't really need to rely on someone else's money. Money can come and go but at least that's something you can control and work on in case you're in debt or jobless. That can be obtained and fixed while looking young forever can't. At least demanding someone that works hard and produces money is realistic vs demanding someone to look pretty and young forever; impossible.

[jasco]

Most men don't demand that you look impossibly young, we demand that you take care of yourself which is very possible to do if you workout and eat right. A lot of women do not do that which makes them look old, the older they become. Its not about looking like your 20s forever more about looking as good and as fit as you can possibly be

[Oigit]

You can choose to focus on society, it's negatives and choose not to do so. Society isn't without it's negatives. But those negatives become much bigger the more we focus on them. It can lead us to not seeing people as individuals and blaming everyone for any given issue society has despite them as a individual having nothing to do with it.

Instead of falling into the society blame game, I highly suggest you start taking steps back. Start mentally and emotionally putting some distances between yourself and society. So you can start focusing on yourself and see people as individuals.

[Anonymous]

You can stop wearing makeup and caring about it you know. The guys actually still show up. If you want people to like you for you then be you.

[Dan_cColt]

On the weight issue if your relatively healthy and exercise guy or girl you shouldn't have a problem. I don't think guys expect females to "stay young" it's not like we don't know aging doesn't exist, it's just mostly that guys are always gonna be attracted to younger looking females. Men generally don't care if girls like other men for their qualities or other attributes and it would be wrong to say that your wrong for doing so, so why should we be villainized for having a preferences just like y'all?

[Asker]

This is what is worries me:
What if I do get married, have kids... still eat healthy and exercises but I'm older than then. Is the guy going to still leave his wife of many years of marriage to a much younger woman just because he's attracted to younger looking females?

[bamesjond0069]

Men and women are not the same. Why does it matter what age men want kids? you're only most likely fertile from 18 to 35 but it takes generally a few years to warm up dating and a few years of pregnancy assuming you want like 2 or 3 kids. So you're only useful for making kids from 18 to 30. So your job is to date men who want kids during this time. So i dont care if only 18 year old boys want kids or 90 year old men want kids. Whatever it is thats your only options. But y'all just keep dating the playboys who definitely dont want you. Thats not our fault. I tell girls sometimes im not interested and then they keep dating me or fucking me. you're the one wasting your time not me.

[RationalMale]

Women love tall guys who are confident and have success/money/social skills.

Men love women who are healthy weight, attractive, and young.

It's life. This is like short guys griping that women should be fine with 5'6 guys instead of wanting 5'9 or above.

[Anonymous]

Even if you meet a guy today and it takes you a year to get engaged and 1 year to plan the wedding and it takes you at least one year to get pregnant and you wanna have at least to kids and you want them to be at least two years apart and you want to to do all this before you turn 40 because man after that your really playing with fire with a whole host of fertility problems. Then I'd say you really don't have a lot of time to meet this perfect mystery man.

[Anonymous]

Back in the 50's and 60's when only men owned the magazines and make-up companies you might have had a little something.
But now that women run these companies now... they also realized that the masses are ignorant... and I can still make a lot of money off of them because they can't think for themselves.
So, you can't think for yourself and women own as many makeup companies as men do now but you're still blaming men.

[Knw951]

Selection pressures are no ones fault per say and ascribing blame could be read as dismissive of most men's experience. I will say one type of men probably is heavily responsible for programming the American perception of beauty. I also think its interesting to view it from an evolutionary perspective as all of those factors could weigh into perceived health..

[Anonymous]

Weight, looks, and youth are signs of fertility. You cannot argue with nature. When you look for a man, you will immediately notice, even on a subconscious level his health, strength, potential ability to provide, protect and defend you.

[Asker]

So what is there afterwards once we get married and have kids? Is he then going to stay in the marriage, stay till old age, sickness and health or go run off looking for much younger women? The wife can't control the youthful part anymore. She's going to age as it's part of nature.

[Opinion Owner]

You'd need to find a loyal man that holds to his vows and his word. However, women initiate about 69% of divorces according to statistics, and 90% of them are initiated by college educated women. That is a very high number which is partly why men no longer marry.

[Shamalien]

Oh yah because healthy eating exercise and staying young is so terrible.

y'all shud be glad we encourage this

[Asker]

I do eat healthy and exercise. Staying young forever isn't possible. I can stay in fit but once I get to 40-50 years old, obviously I'm not going to look the same as when I was 20.

[Shamalien]

Not the same ofc but with effort u can still look really good

[Jamie05rhs]

Your problem is you have all of these things but you don't use them effectively. You waste them. That is what men are trying to tell you.

[Anonymous]

No. It's women's fault that they build their entire lives around whether or not they can attract a man.

[OddBeMe]

Started out as men objectifying women. Now it’s women doing it to other women.

[Anonymous]

I don't think it's a guys fault. There's nothing wrong with wanting to look young at an old age.

[Asker]

Yes but that's impossible. Everyone will age. I'm currently 26 but can't pass out as a 18-20 year-old forever. Even when aging like wine (good genes in the family and never smoking), at some point it'll catch up.
Those poor wives that got replaced after 20 years of marriage, how is it fair to get dumped for something you can't control? It would be fair to get dumped because you're a lazy bum that doesn't want to get a job... that's something you can change. Getting back your youthful looks... you can't change that.

[Opinion Owner]

I guess some guys are pretty selfish, they need to know that what they see is what they get.

[Morning_Cereal]

Yeah I guess so sorry

[jahaims]

No, is marketing and other women.

[Billiumboomerboi]

Hmmmmm large bmi post

[MasonAlucardthethird]

No..

[Anonymous]

You are very naïve.

[jimmy2]

Ohhh no honey