Girls, am I asking for too much?

[TomGarand]

For my last question, I asked some of the ladies if not wanting to be a protector is unattractive. My reason why I didn't want to be that in a relationship is because protecting the women in my life, and doing physical things for them--they don't boost my ego like they do for other men. No good feelings, no dopamine hits, nothong.

Emotionally, I get no reward for it. I'm not saying I wouldn't show the person I love that I care for them, or stand up for them. I would. But I don't have the Hero Instinct many men do.

The majority of the women who answered said "yes, it is unattractive." Plus, my type is physically strong, tough, and athletic. If she's also tall or more boyish/masculine, that's ideal. Basically, a woman who might not need me to protect them. For a man who doesn't have the Hero Instinct, it just makes sense.

Obviously an exaggeration, but you get the point.

But ladies, is wanting a woman who doesn't want/need to be protected is asking too much?

Should I want to be a protector, even if I am not needed for it?

Updates

+1 y

And yes, I'd still protect kids and women I'm not in a relationship with in my care. And I'd show my lover I care about them.

However, I'd still rather have a partner who was physically strong and capable of fending for themselves. Like I said, strong, tough, and athletic is my type.

[Anonymous]

Hey dude it’s okay everyone wants different things in a relationship. There’s no reason why you have to be a protector. Not every girl wants a guy like that, so it’s not like you have to force yourself to be something you’re not. It definitely narrows the dating field but many people have more unrealistic expectations than you do and they’ve found partners. You just have to communicate about it and if you find out that a girl wants a protector, then she’s not the one for you.

[TomGarand]

Well what do you personally want in a man?

[Opinion Owner]

Well personally you’re not my type and I’m not yours, but I know at least a couple of people who date guys like you so I know they’re not super hard to find.

[TomGarand]

So you know more masculine/tomboyish, athletic women who actually would NOT mind me?

[JosyJosy]

You should want to be a protector. A father who isn't willing to protect his child in danger is not what I would call a good parent.

[TomGarand]

... I really gotta clarify my words, don't I?

[JosyJosy]

Always so you're sure we're on the same page as we reply :)

It's understandable like "Oh she can protect herself, she doesn't stay out late, she's careful" I'm not worried. But to say you don't want to be a protector, like in general?

Imagine your wife being attacked, are you just gonna watch cause you don't want to be the protector?
Same with the kid. I expect a family to be a protector even if they don't need it

[TomGarand]

Just updated it.

[JosyJosy]

yap now I would be like "You're not asking for too much, we all have our preference" but without that update I'd be like "yeah screw you" xD

[TomGarand]

Jesus, I'm bad at explaining things.

[TomGarand]

Also, what does Yolanda think of me?