On a side note. She used to wear tight jeans and had decently maintained nails, but she stopped. She wears baggier jeans and her nail polish is always worn. These are small things and I don't need them but they'd also be nice. Should I ask her to take care of these things too?
I guess in a lot of ways she's cut down on how she presents herself. I feel like an asshole if I ask her because I do love her and I don't want to hurt her feelings, I just want her to take care of these things the way she used to. What's your take on things? Thanks!
Most Helpful Girl
I think this happens to a lot a of people when they get comfortable in a relationship- they don't try as hard to impress the person, and definitely not to the extent of always looking their best like they did back in the beginning. To some degree, I think it's only natural and it's a good thing that the person you're with doesn't NEED you to be glamourous all the time. That being said, I can hear where you're coming from missing the little attentions she used to pay to her appearance. Personally, I do the things you mentioned (shave my legs, paint my nails, wear cute clothes) for me and sometimes I just really don't FEEL like it. I sort of go through phases- some weeks I'm really into doing my hair nice, painting my nails, and putting together great outfits and other weeks I'm perfectly content with my hair tossed in a ponytail, no nail polish, and comfy jeans and a hoodie. Those phases usually happen when I'm stressed or something is weighing on me- has something changed in your girlfriend's life recently? If not, maybe you guys have sort of hit a kind of rut where you don't really do the formal "date" thing anymore- you just get together, hang out (alone or with friends), but without any of the ceremony of going out to a nice dinner and a movie. It's easy to let go of the nice touches of appearance when the nice touches of dating have faded away to. I'm not saying you have to go out all the time (that'd be ridiculous and expensive!), but if you guys went out to a nice restaurant one night, I can almost guarantee she'll dress for the occassion. And, personally, if I have to do it once during a not-so-glam phase, it reminds me how good it makes me feel and I start to do it on a more regular basis. Maybe make it like a once a month kind of thing? And, like everyone else said, complimenting her when she does can only help.
As for the shaving thing- I'll admit, I shave less in the winter because, having dark hair, it's a freaking pain in the ass to try to keep all visible hair from my legs all summer so winter is a nice break for me because no one sees my legs anyway. I drop down to once a week instead of 3 times a week and if I'm feeling lazy, I might let it go a week and a half. I don't know if I would appreciate my boyfriend asking me to shave- I get that you like smooth legs, but so do I and I'm not asking you to shave yours! It's a personal choice if/how often I shave and it might make me feel unattractive, as well as arouse the feminist in me who says I can be sexy with or without hair on my legs and I shouldn't have to conform to a certain picture. But I do get where you're coming from because my own hairy legs turn me off and I never go on a date without making sure they're smooth. It's a bit of a difficult situation, but maybe the compliments everyone else suggested might work?1