What are realistic standards to have for a man?

Question

Being raised watching disney it seems as though it's easy to have unrealistically high standards for men (looking for 'Prince Charming')

So what are some fair standards/ deal breakers that you think would point to a good man (even if he is considered average)?

And on the flip side, what do you see as easily identifiable red flags upon meeting a man? (things that make you think he wouldn't make a suitable partner for a woman).

I'd love to hear your opinions, thanks in advance.

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

So in the end, the simple facts are that men want all the same things that woman want out of a relationship. But woman tend to want those things earlier in life in general then most men.

Men do not figure it out until their later 20's or 30's and some never do.

As a man, I want to feel appreciated and validated by my significant other. I want them to be able to not only love me for what she spare in common, but to respect me for what we do not share in common. Its easy to love and respect someone when you agree on everything. But that is not reality. There is no perfect woman or man, no Prince Charming. So respect for differences is more important than similarities.

A more settle red flag that does not really stand out among the major ones, is when someone is unwilling or incapable of agreeing to disagree, and still respecting the defense while appreciating you for all the other things you do.

To often we get hung up on this believe that some other person should be your everything. Your "Princes Charming", or "girl next door".

Now from here I could list out 20 to 50 different things, but it really doesn't matter to most men. We overlook a lot of things, if she A.) makes us feel appreciated, B.) Respects us as a man. C.) Accepts for all the good thing we do as well as some of the not so good things.

If a woman can do this then I think any good man should do the same for her, and if he does not then that is a RED Flag. But finding and maintain that balance is the most important thing, and every relationship is different and should stand on its own merits.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

Really, the key is to pick your partner based on their morals, values, and life goals, NOT on their looks, money, status, or how exciting (i. e., chaotic, dangerous) they are. Most women only pick men based on the latter set of attributes, and are then surprised when their relationships always fail.

The reality is that the most attractive guys are never going to be the ones with good morals and values, because they've never needed those things to get what they want. In other words, you will have to sacrifice high levels of attraction, at least at the beginning, to get a quality man.

You also need to accept that some guys simply don't want relationships, or marriage, or children, or whatever. You will not be able to change their mind, so when you come across a guy who doesn't share your life goals, you need to move on. If you try to change him, you will fall every time AND you will only waste your time and energy.

That's why it's critical to set boundaries and expectations very early on - BEFORE you make a commitment - and vet the guy to make sure you have long-term compatibility with him. The only real chance you have to avoid major pain is to do this very early on.

gothbxtch · Accepted Answer

nice, loyal, communicative, attractive to you personally. nothing wrong with having high standards, though, as long as you don’t get mad if they’re not met.

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

Finding a “prince charming” is a million to one shot.

BarryLiverstone · Answer

Some reasonable standards:

1. Hygienic - does he take care of basic hygiene
2. Polite - does he treat others nicely
3. Mostly truthful - is he telling lots of lies or can you trust most of the things he says
4. Reliable - if he sets an expectation of calling or meeting somewhere does he follow through with actions
5. Works on projects - whether it’s school or a job or a side project. Can you see evidence he’s committed to completing tasks.

Juxtapose · Answer

Don't judge men by their wallet or looks, judge them by their character and similarities to you.

A lot of guys are going to be broke right now and if you go after the super fit guys then chances are they don't have good moral character since they have not had to have good moral character because they could just rely on their looks!

NYlatefun · Answer

It’s good to see smart people realizing how toxic is or used to be Disney. Multiple generations of mostly women were raised watching those movies and thinking they’d find their Prince Charming that would save them and be happy forever. The reality is that the Prince Charming does not exist and women are not princesses that are sitting waiting to be worshipped. Love is compromise and work and commitment and support and effort and I could go on.

MementoMori777 · Answer

Well for starters his heart has to be in the right place, he's gotta be sympathetic and loyal to commitment and have place in his heart for you, these are all basics tbh because it's what makes a guy that will love you and not cheat.

zagor · Answer

Honest, fit, competent, loyal, reasonably interesting, good work ethic.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Shared moral values, shared sense of discipline, alignment about interests like having kids, where you want to live; that sort of thing.

LazerBean · Answer

It completely depends on what standards you yourself meet.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Disney princess movies are stupid, the couple never has anything in common.  Date someone you share hobbies and interests with.

Anonymous · Answer

If he doesn't hit you, mooch off you, or steal money from you to buy drugs, he's a better man than a some guys out there

asphaltrhymes · Answer

I'd like to think I'm a prince charming for short petite ladies in their 20s. I'm not strong, but I'm a slim and tall man 💪🏻♂️ 😬👀

LiamJHayden · Answer

Makes you a priority and does not cheat are a start.

Willlovewinintheend · Answer

Don't settle for less find the prince charming.

Anonymous · Answer

He better clean, cook, hunt and shower and all of those things on the regular.

Anonymous · Answer

If you don't know it'd be pointless to tell you.

es20490446e · Answer

That he gets the basics well.

What are realistic standards to have for a man?

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