If she doesn’t want a serious relationship right now am I wrong to want to talk less?

[Anonymous]

She has a lot going on and really likes me and wants me but has personal things going on so am I wrong for wanting to talk less because I want something serious?

[kylee2437]

If she hasn’t proposed to be exclusive, then you are allowed to mingle with others and see if someone else comes along that is truly ready for a relationship within your time frame.

[Asker]

Yeah it’s just I don’t want to lose her and if I talk less to her she’ll text me she misses me and stuff and I feel bad

[kylee2437]

@asker if you aren’t getting what you feel like you should be getting, what is the point? Communicate with her

[Asker]

I try to but when I ask why she doesn’t want anything serious she just says “idk I’m just not looking for something serious” and I don't know if I should just talk less with her or to move on I love her and she says she loves me but obviously not

[kylee2437]

I would completely move on otherwise you are just constantly going to be settling for less , so while your feelings grow for her, she’s probably just consistently going to keep doing what she’s currently doing. And she doesn’t love you. Don’t buy into words when her actions aren’t matching

[Truthatanycost]

She wants free attention and validation... still giving her any is what's wrong.

[Asker]

Yeah I agree which is why I’m pulling back and want to talk less I just feel guilty if I ghost her completely I know she has a lot going on

[kylee2437]

@asker how about communicate your feelings out. Ask her what she means when she says she needs more time. If what she is saying doesn’t add up, then tell her you don’t feel like this situation is going to work. Ghosting people is absolutely wrong and cowardly

[Truthatanycost]

Your boundary is that you are looking for a relationship, not friendship. She knows this. 'She has a lot going on and really likes you and wants you'. Ignore a persons words, focus on their actions. Her actions betray her words. Thus it's as simple as saying you aren't interested in friendship, only more. There is no need to ask her what she means.

[Asker]

@kylee2437 yeah I completely agree which is why I haven’t I have a heart! I did try to communicate and she just says she doesn’t want a commitment right now and doesn’t know when but she’ll text me she misses me and stuff I just don’t know what to do I don’t want to wait and talk all the time just for her to find someone else but if I don’t talk to her I miss her like crazy😭

[kylee2437]

@asker so why invest yourself into someone that is unsure? Is it fair for you to be dragged through the mud just for her to know when she is “sure” . What happens if she’s never sure? Usually that means she doesn’t want a relationship with you but she likes whatever you are providing her currently

[Cj_Shway]

nah man, do you're thing

[Asker]

Yeah might have to just don’t want to lose this one just scared if I pull back she’ll lose interest

[In_Trance]

You're not