Am I being too needy In this LDR?

[Anonymous]

I was talking to a friend about my relationship which is a ldr and was concerned about how lately it feels like we barley tall any more. I guess more like it's just a simple oh I did this and that and very rarely in real time.

Am I being needy and unreasonable to not want yo go more than 2 or 4 days without having an actual conversation?

Makes me feel like it's more of a convenience thing for her instead of wanting to progress. I worry that I'm going to lose interest in wanting to even visit this person anymore even though she says she doesn't want me out of her life... we've known each other for just over 3 years and met a few times. Thoughts?

[Anonymous]

LDRs only ever go two ways:

1. One of you moves closer to the other and it becomes a normal relationship

Or

2. One or both of you find someone closer and the relationship dies

[Asker]

So your saying it's just going to fizzle out

[Opinion Owner]

Sounds like it already is. Sorry to say

[Asker]

I agree

[Opinion Owner]

Doesn't mean it's too late to save it though

[Asker]

To my surprise she called unexpectedly to talk about it. I'll prob still always have those concerns but guess I'll see how the visit goes

[Opinion Owner]

Oh wow that's good. I hope it goes well for you

[itsalyssaagain]

LDRs never work unless you have a date and a set plan to be physically together permanently.

[Asker]

We did... and both agreed it was too soon. she keeps saying she wants to do more and does for a few weeks after it's brought up but then goes back to less contact

[itsalyssaagain]

Have you set a date?

[Asker]

I mentioned it would work best to wait until closer to the end of the year before making those plans again. I should prob mention there are two kids involved too which she says takes up just about all of her time.

I get that happens but I also don't really get why it's impossible to set aside even 10-15 minutes for a hey how's things?

[itsalyssaagain]

I’m just saying LDRs never work unless you have a set date. I’m talking from experience lol.

[Asker]

That's fair

[itsalyssaagain]

Honestly. Otherwise you spend the entire time wondering about things like this. And you never really know what’s going on. My advice is set a date next time you speak to her.

[Asker]

I'm suppose to visit in a few weeks. I'm hoping it doesn't get too awkward before that even happens

[itsalyssaagain]

Okay but remember to set a date or a plan for what the next move in your relationship will be. I promise this is the only way to get out of this situation. Otherwise you will constantly be asking yourself the same questions and go around in circles. It very mentally tiring.

[Anonymous]

99.5 % of all LDR's fail. They are fantasies. Give it up and find something real.

[Anonymous]

LDRs are not real relationships.

[Anonymous]

You are fine

[Asker]

Can you elaborate?