Do you think "who should pay for dates" should be discussed before going on a date?

Question

I see there is too much disagreement about this topic. This is why I think before going on a date the man and the man should express their opinions on this.

This is not arguing or fighting. This is just discussing.

My stance is that there should be separate checks. I will pay for whatever I order and he will pay for whatever he orders. Some of you might say "he will no longer want to go on a date". I am telling you that it is his choice that won't change my stance. I respect myself enough to pay for my own meal.

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

Yep. Discuss how you want to do the date. I think, especially on initial dates, everyone should go dutch.

It means nobody owes anybody anything. If the date is a bust, there's no hard feelings. It just didn't work out.

Later on, see how you feel about alternating paying for the date, or if someone makes SIGNIFICANTLY more than the other, having that person pay most of the time, no matter what sex the payer is.

Everything is a compromise. Make sure each person is satisfied...

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

For my generation, we never have arguments or discussions about this. It is understood that the man will pay for everything. When I ask where she wants to go, I suggest a few places that are all within the budget I have set, and I don't care about paying.

For my generation, we accept traditional male and female roles and responsibilities and are happy with all that means. For us, traditions have a useful function.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

It doesn’t matter. Nobody is entitled to a free date but paying for a date is a nice thing to do.

Sure… someone can have standards and choose not to go out with someone anymore if they’re not who they’re looking for …. But it still doesn’t entitle them to free stuff.

AviatorTom · Answer

For a typical dinner date, no, it's more fun to discuss who pays when the check comes. If it's an expensive date, then yes, with out who pays for what.

richardcory · Answer

I think it depends. In my case if I were going on a date, I would offer to pay (and be happy to do so) but also happy to split if she preferred.

But for me no reasonable date is expensive enough that the money matters. I can see it being different if the date represents a lot of money to someone

TheThingALing · Answer

I'll pull out my card, if she offers to pay (which is good), then I'll casually reply, No I got it. If she offers to pay again, I'll of course let her. I don't see this as being as bad thing like a lot of guys do. Now if she a modern feminist Id of already picked up on this far sooner than when it was time to pay the check and again, why would I be mad that she wants to pay? I'll have no intentions of seeing her again, so the fact that she split the bill, would be of benefit to me

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

I'm not going to discuss it beforehand because I'd rather see how it plays out naturally. If she invited me she should be paying. If I invited her I expect to pay.

Googlemyahoo · Answer

If the dates not going well I’ll tell waitress split the cheque. I had one the date was rude, to the staff and almost got me killed asking a massive roid monkey for a cigarette & he didn’t smoke so she told him to fuck off. I thought he was going to pull my arms off. I claimed washroom break found waitress told her situation paid my portion and bailed. Left her there.

motownplayer2000 · Answer

On one hand I see both logics. The older generation said that the men should pay, the younger says it should be 50\50. I come to a happy medium. I always say the one who ask the other on a day should pay. But im not usually paying for an expensive meal. She needs to be happy getting to know me for a while before I will fork out a bit of money for a better time.

nawtee_me · Answer

If I ask you out then I should pay. I asked you to go with me…. If you ask me out then you should pay since you asked me to go with you. Now that is not written in stone and if I ask you out and you want to pay for yourself I will offer but I don’t want to offend you by not letting you either.

Anonymous · Answer

The bill should be split, whatever that looks like. It's insane that we are even still discussing this question in 2023.

Berethor · Answer

Everyone paying for himself should be the default, I have no problem with discussing that.

Unit1 · Answer

pretty much. That's how i screen out the gold diggers and freeloaders. I have dodged a few of them already.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Yes. That lets the couple know if they are remotely on the same page and helps avoid issues in the future.

Fireguy17 · Answer

It would be worth mentioning while setting up the date, like let's just go dutch, I would feel better about that.
Once the cheque comes it can get awkward at times.
That way both parties know what is going on.

Shy_Steve · Answer

Yes, I think it should be discussed beforehand. The Guy Should reassure her and say that he will pay or ask if She wants to go 50/50.

TallAnon · Answer

Let's be honest, if I take a hot girl on a date, I'm not going to risk not fucking her over 30 bucks of dinner 😂 I'm not gonna be the one to mention any of that

zagor · Answer

I don't usually go out to expensive places on first dates (broke that rule last time tho...) so I usually pay unless she insists, as it won't be too painful (was last time).

MementoMori777 · Answer

Ey it's better than not letting him pay at all 😂

Guanfei · Answer

Each one paying for their own thing

Anonymous · Answer

In a word: no.

sheikalana · Answer

Nope.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Yes. Absolutely!

Do you think "who should pay for dates" should be discussed before going on a date?

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