I have a boyfriend, but I'm having coffee with a bo my age, is this cheating?

Question

Miristheiss · Accepted Answer

You are in an exclusive, monogamous relationship?

You are meeting some other guy alone for coffee? Why? How do you know this person and what is the reasoning/scenario as to why you two are hanging out socially for some one on one quality time?

Why are you asking if it is cheating? Is something not on the up and up? You have some interest in this guy? Are you feeling, in your heart, that "I shouldn't be doing this"?

Everyone has different boundaries. I'm not ok with my wife just having "dates" with other men.

Does your boyfriend know about it? What does he think about you hanging out alone with some other guy and sharing quality time and sharing of your heart with some guy? Is it a secret from him?

If you are hiding it from him it is cheating. If you have any feelings for this guy it is cheating. If your boyfriend is against it, it is cheating. A lot depends.

DaveJord · Accepted Answer

Could be, all depends on if you're being honest with your boyfriend about it and how he feels about it.

If you are hiding it from your boyfriend then yes you are cheating.

If you told you boyfriend and he is not happy about it and you are doing it anyway... then yes you are cheating.

Id told your boyfriend and he is like whatever and doesn't care... then you are good to go.

What's important to understand that you can cheat without out having sex with someone... because at the end of the day a date is a date, and it violates trust. When you do that you are cheating on emotional level if not physical level.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Do you intend to cheat? Are you intrested in this other boy sexually?

You need to be careful on stuff like this. The other boy may be intrested in you sexually, if you cheat you get a reputation as a cheat and no guy will really ever want to be with you in a serious way because he can never trust you including this boy.

My advice is to tell the other boy you can't make it.

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

Unbelievable that some people on here say you can't even have coffee with someone. Some people are SO insecure, it is nuts. I have coffee with people I work with, am I cheating, of course not!

AviatorTom · Answer

It's perfectly okay go have coffee with a friend... that's not cheating... unless it leads to something more physical.

SnowedIn · Answer

If your intention is he's a friend and you're having coffee, it is NOT cheating. And if your boyfriend has a problem with it, that's a red flag.

If you're intention is, "he's cute, maybe this will lead somewhere" it's not cheating but means you should evaluate your relationship with your boyfriend.

If it's a date, it's cheating.

richardcory · Answer

For me the test is: If you showed up for coffee and he brought his girlfriend along, would you feel disappointed? If no, then its not cheating at all. If it would bother you, then maybe your have some inappropriate feelings.

Still as long as its just coffee, I have no problem with it at all

lightbulb27 · Answer

woman's job is to respect the man, you are possibly slapping him in the face if boyfriend doesn't know and approve. It's disrespecteful. Best boyfriend is there with you.

in some cultures, you'd have your head removed to honor their emotions.

Lowiu · Answer

Depends an easy way to determine wether what you're doing might be cheating is would you tell your boyfriend about it and like what level of detail

runnerboy · Answer

I'm your age and I do not think anything is wrong with it at all. It is just coffee after all. When I had gfs I also had friends that were girls which I think is good for guys to have friends that are girls that they are not sexually involved with. What are your thoughts?

KarinMcDonald · Answer

Having coffee with somebody is not cheating! Ask yourself if your boyfriend is controlling. If you can't do simple things on your own without feeling guilty, then either look inside yourself, or get a boyfriend who isn't jealous.

ronaldo75 · Answer

The fact you're asking this means you're interested in the boy you're having coffee with. So yes, it's cheating. Stop looking for validation on the internet. What you want is for people to tell you "no it's fine it's just coffee, you're allowed to have friends" knowing full well you have at least a minimal interest in this other guy.

DJB72 · Answer

Unless you're planning to have coffee naked, what's the problem? My wife has male friends. I have female friends. Keep your hands to yourselves and what's the problem?

Paige90 · Answer

Do you tell your boyfriend? Do you do anything with him?

RavVid · Answer

It is if your intent is to explore it further and he is a Plan B. Your boyfriend is unlikely to take kindly to it and he gets a vote.

MementoMori777 · Answer

If it doesn't go past the friend stage then I don't think so but I'm sure to a boyfriend it would still look sus

BoobSlayer · Answer

Yes, you're cheating. You should be drinking tea.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

Tell your boyfriend, see what he says.. What went through your mind when you read that?

Sparkie460 · Answer

There is nothing wrong with having coffee with a friend. It doesn't matter what sex they are. As long as it is a platonic cup of coffee you have nothing to worry about.

Iron_Man · Answer

It starts off as having coffee, and then it turns into let’s get something to eat then there’s flirting, then holding hands and then you know the next

iamzohaib · Answer

I suppose that if you’re hiding it from your boyfriend than that is cheating

Anonymous · Answer

As long as he is your age it's not cheating. You can date a 21 year old and 17 year old and it's not cheating.

DextroShade · Answer

Close enough. Why are you entertaining other men if you are taken? If you want to act single just be single!

Nerdvana · Answer

How would you feel if your boyfriend was having coffee with a girl his age and you didn't know about it?

TacosRAwesome · Answer

If you know it's a date, yes it's cheating. If it's friendly then it's not.

FootfetishistBoy · Answer

No. But maybe writing him a note or something so he doesn't have any suspicions or something

AmeerX · Answer

It is not cheating as long as you tell your boyfriend about it

HippieVeganJewslim · Answer

Depends on what You mean by ‘bo.’ Just having coffee with anyone seems OK.

BrookeS · Answer

Not automaticly. If you have no feelings for the boy its fine

shades777 · Answer

a coffee without a motive to start a sexual relationship is just a coffee

Anonymous · Answer

You have a boyfriend and you're going on a coffee date with another guy. What do you think?

Anonymous · Answer

Not if it's platonic I have coffee with people all the time because they are clients

Anonymous · Answer

Coffee isn't cheating. Flirting when you get coffee is. So just be sure you don't cross the line.

hiyamotherfers · Answer

not if he knows about it

spartan55 · Answer

Damn, you girls have absolutely no shame.

MrCommodore · Answer

No its not cheating

DrewJohnson · Answer

It's not cheating.

Emanon25 · Answer

It’s just coffee

Wise4myage · Answer

What's your intentions with this guy?

Avgbrisbaneguy · Answer

not at all cheating unless something happens

mommymommymommy · Answer

Yeah

EaterPeter · Answer

It can be

304strichZUP · Answer

No it isn't

riverrat3 · Answer

Enjoy life, have fun

I have a boyfriend, but I'm having coffee with a bo my age, is this cheating?

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