Basically I have been cheating on my boyfriend of 4 years with three different guys. I've been cheating almost as long as we have been together. I seriously break down and cry every time I think about what I'm doing. I'm really not a sh*tty person I just make sh*tty decisions sometimes. I don't even know how it got started. I was dating one of the guys before I knew my boyfriend and we just hook up off and on and one day he just popped back into my life and we were together again while my boyfriend and I were dating as well. We are so used to using each other I think its second nature. He's kind of an asshole but he's the most honest person I know.
One guy is just someone I started having sex with unintentionally. He's married with 2 kids. I met him at a friend's dinner party and we got along really well. We had the same interests and opinions and the opinions we didn't share made way for like amazing conversation and debate. He's a philosophy professor, not that much older - 31, and *amazingly* gorgeous. He told me he hated his life and hasn't loved his wife for years. He came back to my apartment and we talked. Talking turned to sex and I thought it would end soon but no - its been 2 years and some change. I do love him though and he's been talking about leaving his wife and kids for me. Didn't think he was serious but he met with a divorce lawyer and everything. His crazy wife knows about me now and wants to kill me.
Guy three is someone who I worked with during my first internship. That was the convenient part – I could cheat and just say I was at work. We hook up sometimes but not like regularly.
My boyfriend started dropping the M-bomb on me recently. Not like anything serious but he says he can see us spending our lives together. I feel horrible! I just think to myself, oh yeah great, marry the whore its all good. I feel so bad and don't know what to do. The sad part is like all of the guys know about my boyfriend but he doesn’t know about any of them. So what now? I can try to drop the two meaningless ones and deal with the two that I love but even then how do I choose?! What would you do in my situation?
Also do they offer therapy or something for this stuff? It isn't the first time I have cheated and I think I have a problem. :/
Most Helpful Guy
You have made a mess of things and you are burdened with guilt, temptation and indecision.
If I were you, I would stop dating everyone entirely for six months to one year.so you can catch your breath and let the mess you have made will clear on its own. If you have sexual tension clear it with solo masturbation and physical exertion (exercise) but not in a co-ed health club.
Do not concern yourself with anyone's hurt feelings or any duties or obligations you think you have. You owe nobody nothing and if you keep doing what you are doing, there will be much sadness and destruction done to those same people.
Better: Sever everything now. You are presently a time bomb. Move to a new apartment. Maybe even another nearby town. New phone. New cellphone. New friends. New job if necessary. If you don't do this, you will suffer for years and could even contemplate suicide so you can disappear from the mess you made. I say disappear without suicide. Start completely over and start now.0