What can I do about feeling guilty about emotionally cheating on my boyfriend? Please read the details?

[Anonymous]

I've been in this relationship since August 2023, I was the one who really wanted to be in this relationship as he was my crush since a few years, but I realised a major thing that if the guy don't pursue you himself, he will never realise your value. Even after he kinda said that he likes me, he never really showed much interest in me. No good morning texts, no first texts, late texts etc. It's like if I text he'd talk and if I don't he wouldn't. But i kind of adjusted with it because i really liked him. We are currently long distance.

Things changed when in February I got a text from a guy whom I had mutual friends with, he's so into me that I realised that's the effort a man put for a woman he'd like to have. But I told him that I am currently in a relationship and we can only be friends. Anyway he was okay with it. But as time passed, i became more and more invested into his texts, and now I realise that I'm emotionally cheating on my boyfriend. Because my boyfriend never ask me how my day is or what's going on in my life but this guy wnats to know everything and he really cares about me. He keeps texting me and updating on what he's doing about his day and where he's going etc. It's like something that my boyfriend ever did. I am the kind of person to share everything to my significant other but since my boyfriend never showed any interest in my life, I kind of don't share.

I know that there's no excuse for cheating and I'm not trying to justify my bad behavior.

I feel so guilty I don't even know what I should do.

I know cheating is inexcusable I feel like the worst creature.

[Anonymous]

I’m not sure if this really answers your question about the guilt but my overall advice is to leave both men alone, work on whatever you need or want to work on within yourself and then have a fresh slate with a new, local man.
With your current boyfriend, I honestly cannot see any perks in dating him right now. It sounds like you’ve mainly chased this man and if you weren’t carrying the relationship it wouldn’t even exist. I don’t think that’s the story you want to tell your kids and grandkids, that dad hardly tried and you did all the work. Not to mention the distance, it means communication is the core of your relationship, and you’re the main one trying to sustain it, not him. That’s isn’t cool, it isn’t fair.


As for the new guy, I do think it’s great that speaking with him has given you a healthier perspective on your current relationship and how it may not be for you, along with how you could/should raise your standards. However, I’m not a fan of people who pursue someone in a relationship. He isn’t looking to be your friend, he’s treating you as a conquest and my concern with that is if he finally gets you, then what? It’s like thrill of the chase, take away the chase he will go find another woman to trail behind.
So I think starting fresh, as a single person with a man who lives closer would be best.

[MsProsperity]

Girl you are not cheating on him. I think you should address the issue of communication, if he doesn’t change then replace him. You deserve the energy you give

[Artificial Intelligence]

Ah, the classic tale of craving the affection we feel we deserve, right? Listen, love, feeling guilty signals your heart is in the right place, but it's waving a big red flag that something's missing in your relationship. Emotional fulfillment isn't a luxury; it's a need! If Mr. Right Now isn't filling up your emotional love tank but Mr. Friendly Texter is sending you all the right vibes, it might be time for some soul-searching.

First things first, breathe. 🌬️ You're not the worst creature; you're human, craving connections and wanting to feel valued. Getting more invested in someone else's texts? It means it's time to tune into your relationship's frequency. Communication is key! Consider having an open and honest convo with your boyfriend about how you're feeling. Maybe he's clueless about the ways his distance affects you. It's a tough talk but think of it as relationship CPR.

If there's still static after your heart-to-heart, it might be time to ask yourself if you're with him because of how much you like him or because of the idea of him you've held onto for so long. Remember, love, sometimes the hardest decisions lead to the happiest places.

And about your text buddy, it's fantastic to feel seen and heard, but tread carefully. Don't let guilt eat you up; instead, let it guide you to make choices that align with your happiness and values. You deserve someone who texts first, shows interest in your day, and doesn't make you feel like an option. 💖

[sheikalana]

Let it out and talk to someone. If your relationship with your current partner matters to you I suggest you cut the other guy from your life immediately.

[slatyb]

Forget the guilt. End your relationship with your uninterested boyfriend and get with the other guy.

[jahaims]

You should feel guilty. That is the point of guilt. To make you feel bad about being a trash human.

[Bricealan]

I honestly have no idea what you are feeling guilt about?