Guys want to date me , but?

[cth2188]

They don't understand that I'm not having premarital sex and since many don't desire marriage, why date? I'm coming across guys that want casual hookups.

Updates

+1 y

They end up friend zoned, but get upset because I don't want to casual hookup. So how am I wrong for not dating? I know this sounds like a tongue twister...

[stepyo99]

Good for you. Leaving sex for after marriage is the best way to make sure the other person likes you for you, and not just your body. A low body count or no body count also gives marriage a much higher chance of success than it does for people with high body counts.

Many guys are only interested in hooking up these days, so you're going to probably continue finding men who behave that way, but if you aren't all ready, just try to make it blatantly, obviously clear from the very beginning that you aren't interested in premarital sex and are waiting for marriage.

[cth2188]

I'm at the point of leaving American men along all together

[cth2188]

Not good suitors or worth even considering- me staying single is best because I refuse to settle

[cth2188]

Exclusively with the current client and how it is

[cth2188]

Climate

[stepyo99]

I can get that sentiment. I've often thought the same thing about American women who have been largely poisoned by feminism. But there really are both good men and women out there still - I've met them - so it's just a matter of playing the numbers game until you find them.

[cth2188]

Ohh no I'm out the arena and sticking to my guns

[cth2188]

I'm staying this way

[stepyo99]

You do you

[cth2188]

Yes thanks

[cth2188]

Too much of a headache nowadays

[Avicenna]

Well, do you actually want to get married? Then target men who also want to get married. That means staying off dating apps.

[cth2188]

I don't use dating apps and not to American men marriage wise

[Quackthulu2]

Okay… was there a question in there, or did you just want to share?

[cth2188]

I was trying to get advice to this... :D

[cth2188]

What to do

[Quackthulu2]

Get over it and get laid.

[cth2188]

No I'm not for religious reasons

[Quackthulu2]

Yeah, that’s the “get over it” part.

[cth2188]

I may have to accept that being single is best and or look at other options overseas I don't know

[cth2188]

No I will not get over it

[cth2188]

Thanks 💜 I can't do that

[Quackthulu2]

Well, good luck with that then.

[cth2188]

Thanks

[Gent207-2]

Honestly the best way to meet people us around common interests like Church or charities.
While working on becoming Mrs. Right you will find Mr. Right

[Christoff92]

Of course 😉

[Mansearching]

Keep your convictions. You'll find someone with same ones.

[cth2188]

I am done with Amecian men too toxic way too toxic to date nowadays

[cth2188]

I've been single over a decade and some years..

[cth2188]

I'm sorry..

[Mansearching]

Been there. I thought I would never find an American woman. I did.
I was dating before her. 2 girls before her i hadn't had sex for 6 years.
I never said it was going to be an American man. I said you'll find a man with same convictions as you.

[cth2188]

The way how most American men are I lost interest with all this misgony, sexism, and toxicity.. I have no desire to deal with American men after running into that.

[cth2188]

I rather date a foreign man now if I were dating. Running into that has run me a different direction.

[Mansearching]

Just to let you know, we're not all like that. Don't lump us all in one boat.

[cth2188]

I'm sorry it's a no I don't know where to begin with American men crazy thing is I don't online date - that has soured my perspective with American men because I'm constantly running into it... I had no idea it was this bad and wants 0 parts of it. This was 2 months ago and I regret even coming back out into whatever I walked into. Between the incels;, red pill, manosphere guys... I'm concerned for my safety...

[Mansearching]

So who you going to date? Where are you going to go?
Please don't tell me you going into a hole?

[Mansearching]

I'm just asking.

[cth2188]

I'm just learning what these movements are as of 2 years ago... it's too much. Way too dangerous to date..

[Mansearching]

A natural introvert? Homebody? Again asking.

[cth2188]

I won't date no one at the rate of how dangerous dating is for women. It's too extreme, and the climate isn't safe for women like me. I'm not a feminist and I don't support what some men are doing towards women. I stand strong that I may have to look at foreign men who don't have this certain mindset. Too indoctrinated - it's too extreme now.. I'm not modern either , but I've lost interest in dating American men. Men who respect women have value, morals, standards, and dignity about their image. This broke the camels back for me - my safety and womanhood cones first.

[cth2188]

Yes I'm am introverted and homebody- I own a business and work from home

[cth2188]

I'm going to stay hidden as I have been

[cth2188]

11 1/2 years

[cth2188]

I'll never date again from here not in this climate

[Mansearching]

I support your personal beliefs. I've always respected women. I don't know what happened to you. But I feel you're blaming all of us because of that instance (s). Not all of us are like that. I know I sure didn't do anything to you.

[Mansearching]

WOW!!! In a hole for 11 1/2 years? I just started dating my girlfriend now. She and I have been together for 12yrs next month.

[cth2188]

I'm not blaming all men - I'm concerned for my safety even stepping out attempting dating.

[Mansearching]

I don't know what your calling toxic. And what you're really affraid of.

[cth2188]

I'm afraid of men now

[Mansearching]

Ok. Being the way you've been for last 11 years, I'd be nervous too. For dating. Times have changed. Even the sex thing. Men do respect that. Of course your nervous. More that than scared, I think. Ease yourself into it. Get a group together and go out. Find a church, join a group, go out for coffee.
Just get out of the house. It'll get easier.

[cth2188]

Yes Jan will make 12 years single by choice

[Mansearching]

What makes you affraid?

[cth2188]

I am in groups and avoid men in public- I carry

[cth2188]

I've been stalked and harassed by nen. Lost a girlfriend to sex trafficking.. unhinged social media behavior by males

[Mansearching]

And? I carry too. What do you think we're going to do? I'd either say hi or excuse me sorry. Because i bumped into you while going to bathroom or going back to table.

[cth2188]

Who you? Or men in general? I don't know I'll say hi and go on about my business-

[Mansearching]

I'm sorry that's happened to you. You need to get help. See a mental dr to get over your fear. We as men are not all going to do that. Your fear is telling you we are. Your fear is controlling you.
I lost a good friend (female) to fear like yours. She committed suicide.

[Mansearching]

I know I'm a stranger, but as a God fearing man, I have to give some advice.
Control your fear, your fear is controlling you.

[cth2188]

I don't need help I have every reason to be guarded with the current climate of dating incels etc

[cth2188]

Nope based on recent encounters of toxic masculinity I'd have to say it's normal very normal

[Mansearching]

That statement was an example of what id do. I don't know about anyone else.

[cth2188]

My safety is my priority and when it comes to dating no

[cth2188]

I'm not dealing with the toxic bs and I finding more at peace by myself

[cth2188]

I don't know anymore about men of today I don't know

[Mansearching]

What is the toxic? Opening doors as gentlemen? Letting you go ahead because ladies are first?
If all your experiences and encounters happened 11 years ago then fear has controlled you.
What happened to you in past 4 days that was toxic?

[cth2188]

I explained to you what was toxic - these incels running loose - I'm not weeding through that. Those encounters happened to me over 15 years ago it's what geared me up to be cautious. A gentleman- far few in between back then versus now. I'm realizing dating is now scary and not what it use to be. I m a self publishing author who helps women in trauma recovery services and I own a business

[Mansearching]

See now you're thinking. Your fear is breaking. Because you said you don't know. You're talking things out. Just because something happened 2 years ago, it'll happen again. That's ridiculous. Don't listen to social media, news, or third hand person to person gossip. That'll fuel your fear.

[cth2188]

There was never a fear I'm cautious but yeah I still avoid mem. I don't give in freely like that

[cth2188]

I just explained to you that I recently came into what's been going on in the dating world and it's scary I'm a social media blogger on YouTube and TikTok so I see it.

[cth2188]

Social media has been a blessing

[cth2188]

I'm focused on me and my business 💯 dating I think about it but need time to me

[Mansearching]

Incels? What does that mean? Never heard of that word.
Good for you for teaching all of that. I respect that. But don't project fear. Don't tell women to hide. I know women who've been raped and they're out and about, dating, and 2 are getting married. There lives are great. Because they didn't let their fear control them.

[cth2188]

Oh not my place to tell what women what to do my place is to help them heal and understand men. I had my share of dealing with men including my ex. Good for those women they did the work as for me my focus us helping women and my businesses. I don't know about marriage or dating again. Friends are nice , but that extra stuff no. I run my business 40 hours a week so I don't have the patience for a relationship or energy

[Mansearching]

I'm getting rid of social media bc its toxic to me.
Remember there are 3 sides to every story. Person's 1 side, person's 2 side, and the truth.
News, social media, and gossip never say the truth.
Example: rumor all through high school, i was gay. Never have been. When I showed up to prom with college girl, everything changed. No one thought i was gay anymore. Social media started then. See how toxic it is to me? Filled my life with lies about me.

[cth2188]

I'm not ready to give up my freedom or space for a man nor how to incorporate that in. I like my peace of mind and solitude . Relationships are draining and time consuming... I don't have the energy for that

[Mansearching]

Now that I understand. Not having time to date. Or the patience.

[cth2188]

I know my side I love my peace of mind and trying to adapt to what's going on out here. I love ny single and celibate life.

[cth2188]

Yes ✔️... I don't have the time anymore

[Mansearching]

Good for you, if you're doing it for right reason. Not fear. That's all im saying. I tell people don't do anything out of fear.

[Mansearching]

Got to work tomorrow. Bye.

[cth2188]

I already explained that single women do as they choose 💯

[cth2188]

Night 🌙 certification class here