If you had a crush, and found out that they had no previous success with the opposite sex, would you think there was something wrong?

[Anonymous]

Like from childhood, until now, they got turned down, every single time they asked someone, or people were just upfront, and said they weren't interested before they asked

No, that's not unusual to me

Yeah, they should have had some success, so I would be alarmed

No, maybe they just weren't the "type" of the people, they were asking

No, I just chalk it up to it being really hard, to have success with dating

[zeitgeist057]

No, though I would say age dependent.

<24 years or so : I wouldn't think anything of it.

25-35: I would expect there to be some kind of rationale behind it. "I went to an all girls school/college until I was 22" or from a very small town or some other social isolation. or maybe trauma? But still could be normal.

36+: There could still be some explanations, maybe they are just not a mainstream type person or whatever. I'm thinking if I have a crush on them then there are some attractive qualities and I'd be curious to know more about them. They might be a very unique and special person!

freak

[Ihatethewill]

I have no clue why people care about a lack of past experience so much. Just give them experience.

[mommymommymommy]

Think of it like a job. Would you hire a doctor, who had never worked a day in his life before

Or like with trump, who had never been in politics, all the sudden becoming president. Yikes

[Ihatethewill]

If you like your partner then does it matter? Just seems petty to me.

[Sasha0426]

It’ll make the relationship easier if both parties have experience. I’ve been single my whole life and I don’t expect anyone to give me a chance. Quite honestly, I wouldn’t blame them because it’ll be frustrating.

[Sasha0426]

Even if you like said person, having no experience is a red flag.

[Ihatethewill]

Nah that's crazy you want an experienced partner without any experience yourself

[fonduegirl]

I need to check out what kind of people they have had crush on. For instance, if a guy is 25 and he's been chasing the model like all 10s since the age of 17 — of course he's having no luck. Broadly speaking, attractive people usually pick other attractive ones.

[Yannishka]

Only of he is super attractive and was single, then you know something is wrong.

[Sasha0426]

Oh wow 😅 I hope you look like a magazine model yourself.

[Yannishka]

Not just that, something is Also wrong with me ;)

[Xoxocutekitty]

A lot of guys in high school or college get caught up in the wanting "the hottest girl in the room" or aka someone who has way more options than them.

Same way college women might all chase a "Chad", eventually, the desire for a genuine connection out weighs this ideal attraction.

[itsalyssaagain]

No I’d rather just not know about my partners previous dating experiences. I just want the focus to be on us.

[Sasha0426]

If I had a crush, I know what’s it like to be in their shoes. I mean, I never asked anyone out but I don’t have the greatest luck with men. Honestly, we would make a great match.

[Juxtapose]

Dating is hard and I am autistic, I'm not going to fucking judge.

[mommymommymommy]

You should watch "40 year old virgin". You might like it

[SnowedIn]

Depends on how old they are.

[Asker]

23-30?

[SnowedIn]

Hmmmmmmmmm. At the 23 end I might not think anything of it particularly if they were religious or really into sports or school or getting their college degree or something like that.

At the 30 end of the scale, I'm concerned. Something's up. Maybe not necessarily bad but worthy of a frank discussion. A person can't get that old without having had success, as you put it, and not own some responsibility for that lack of success.

[Sasha0426]

@SnowedIn I’m 30 and never been in a relationship. Honestly, all the blame goes on. I’m a huge red flag.

[Sasha0426]

*goes on me

[SnowedIn]

@Sasha0426 ... I wouldn't say red flag but yes, it'd make me cautious and be worth a serious conversation.

It's not an automatic no or reject or even a red flag. There are people who've had too many relationships (the opposite extreme).

Just worth extra communication.

[Sasha0426]

And that’s something I want to avoid. Because someone with experience will never understand.

[Sasha0426]

Or they wouldn’t believe you if you told them your story on why you’ve been single for so long.

[Spongebobssocks]

No... my crush of 7 years is still a virgin

[TrueConfection]

At my age? Yes, but not when I was 18-24.

[inhua]

does that include having no history?

[strateguy632]

no problem no judgement until i get to know them

[Anonymous]

Only teenagers have crushes.

[mommymommymommy]

I had a crush on the girl that I now know likes me back, she supposedly always has, i just didn't realize it. I'm 34

[Sasha0426]

I honestly never knew there was an age limit to have crushes. What would you call it for adults?

[msc545]

This would definitely be a concern.