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We went on a date and we live couple hours apart. It’s his birthday, so I offer to be his birthday treat and at first he said he’d like it. But then he actually end up sayin “I’m not going to make you drive all the way out here for me. Especially with work tomorrow. I do appreciate the effort and willingness. It is nice to see”
I feel rejected he actually wasn’t for it…
I feel rejected he actually wasn’t for it…
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
2Opinion
He may be interested but not in the way you’d want him to be. I don't know what a birthday treat is but to me that’s putting sex on the table, and what you don’t want is to make that all the substance your situationship has, especially if you’re starting to like him in a real way. Plus the distance doesn’t help, 2 hour drives every weekend or every time he wants to see you, just to ultimately have sex and part ways, it’s just so lackluster. You can do better than that.
You think he’s losing interest? We actually end up talking about it, he said nothing has changed for him and he just had a long week he’s recouping from but we will see.
Lol yeah it was supposed to be just flirty but I didn’t actually meant to have sex with him.
It’s ok that you guys hooked up, it happens, but the thing is now you have to ask yourself what sort of interest are you genuinely looking for at this point in your life. Casual sex in our age range is for the birds. You should have a clearer idea of what you want from a man than what you did in your 20s, and not settle for anything less than your standards. You ask if he’s losing interest, but in what exactly? Sexting, flirting, hooking up? Men rarely lose interest in the woman providing those things until another woman comes along that he can get these things from. Why? Because there’s no substance to that, hence my initial comment. Getting laid or sexy pics and words from a willing woman is very easy, it’s commitment that’s hard. I know you have needs that you want met, and I’m sure he can take care of that when you need it, but at some point you will want more from him. Even being willing to drive out for his birthday tells me this isn’t just a casual fling for you, so is that the case for him as well? Have you even had a conversation about where this is even going or what you both are looking for? You owe yourself the opportunity to be happy with someone, and I think you should take that very seriously.
Huh? Girl we never hooked up and I wasn’t trying to implied it. Lol. No shame but I’m being real.
Yeah we already have all that conversation before our first date, so he knows I want something serious and he claimed he did too. We never hooked up… again lol. It was just flirty message. But I’m starting to feel like he just don’t want serious with me.
Gotcha, I thought by saying you didn’t mean to have sex with him you were saying it already happened, so if it didn’t then good for you lol. Anyway, I’m glad you two had a conversation and he’s on the same page, but no matter what he says, actions do the talking. So if he isn’t showing you the investment, prioritization, and whatever you need to know he’s serious then don’t waste your time or your gas.
No worries, I do love your direct and simple approach, you’re absolutely right! He was very attentive prior to our date and then he wasn’t as much. He claimed it’s cuz of a long week and his interest hasn’t changed, but we will see how this week go with his actions and I can determine :)
Man, it’s so disappointing when guys start falling off with their effort or stop it altogether. With that in mind I’d really say to be ready to leave that situation if he doesn’t shape up. 2 hours isn’t super far but it’s not very convenient either, so if you’re gonna commit to an LDR then he has to make it worth it, not be inconsistent. I hope he gets it together but if he doesn’t then try not to think of it as a loss, that could be a blessing in disguise☺️
Is he making you drive to him or did you offer.
He drove to me the first time on our date. The birthday was my offer.
So tell him he's not making you do it, you want to see him. He put the effort in the first time, now it's your turn
I messaged him half an hour ago that I wanted to celebrate his birthday and make him feel special but I understand. Hopefully it’s implying the same thing or should I text him again like what you said? Lol.
But do you feel like he’s losing interest or?
I think he still cares. How long would it take for you to drive to him
I hope so! About 2 hour, 16 min. I’ll add what you said then that by the way I offered because I wanted to see him, not that he’s making me
You can do that. What time were you planning on seeing him? You'll only have a few hours together the longer you wait
Ugh honestly I wanted to plan early to leave now but when I saw his message I felt really rejected and defeated.. so I waited a few hours trying to figure out what to say… I don’t mind if it’s just a few hours when I just wanna see him. But I don't know I feel like he doesn’t wanna see me with his message……
If he's like me and several other guys I know, he wants to see you but he feels bad for having you drive all that way. He seems like the type that feels better doing everything for the woman
I hope so. But all he said was “I understand why you offered and it’s very much appreciated. It means a lot to me” I feel like it’s dry and he’s only grateful…… but didn’t wanna see me
Did you get him anything for his birthday? I think he would be very happy to see you
doesn't seem like it