I am a 27M. A 17F has a very strong attraction to me. I feel creeped out by it. Should I wait until she is 18+ or just flat out reject her forever?

[Anonymous]

I am a good looking guy and work out 4-5 times a week. So I am used to attention from people, but this was very unexpected and has me a bit concerned. So this 17F has known me for the last ten years as her dad is a close family friend. I see this girl on average once a week but a few weeks more than that. She is a really nice person and I know her family. Personally, I have no romantic/sexual interest in her given the fact that she is so young. I myself got touched as a kid by an adult, so I am extremely sensitive to this type of stuff. I hate pedos. But I would not have any issues when she is 18+, except internal doubts. This girl was lowkey stalking me yesterday. She was fidgeting a lot when I was around her and she tried every excuse to get within a few inches from me. This girl was also keeping her younger sister away from the general area I was in. But ya, she was giving me a bunch of indicators of attraction. And this is all news to me as I became aware of this yesterday. I have no problem waiting until she becomes an adult to date her. But my dilemma is should I date her when she is 18+ or flat out reject her? She is a nice girl, but I am worried about all the social issues that may arise if the relationship fails (i. e. fallout) because we live in a small Southern town where everyone knows everyone. Basically, it may cause her dad to lose a lot of opinion about me. This girl will end up being a beautiful woman, there is no doubt of that. But I am still feeling a bit weirded out by the fact that I knew her when she was a little kid. I have the same religion and political beliefs as her. She would probably make a good wife when she is older. But again, there is just the current icky age factor that really has me with a pit in my stomach when thinking about her now. I just hope to wait this out, and when she is 18, she will probably confess her feelings to me anyhow.

Updates

10 mo

I want some female perspective on this question. I want to see what women thinking of dating a man that is 10 years older than them.

[Leapfrog00]

If she is nice like you said, and has a good personality, and will be faithful, then wait it out for her. Don't worry about other people. Hell, she might be that special one. If her father or other people give you their negative two-cents, the hell with them! They're not anyone important if they have to criticize.

Even talking to her now is not pedophilia. Pedophilia is someone who makes sexual advances at children, like 10 year olds. This girl is 17. I'm sure there will be comments here with people saying that though because people are stupid and through around words they think they know the definition for, but have no clue.

I'm a writer and I know people hate being corrected! Talk to her, get to know more about her, so when the time comes, you will know if she's worth it. In China, girls used to marry at 12 or 13, but people nowadays find that disgusting because of how they were brought up. Things were different in history.

But yeah, go for it. If you have stuff in common with her, wait it out, or figure out what the age consent is.

[Asker]

That is the thing, the age of consent in my state is actually 18. Romeo and Juliet laws do not apply to me sadly due to my age. I am not worried about her dad at all since I am literally one of her dad's favorite people. To be honest, her brother is kinda of jealous of how much love I get from their dad. He would have no qualms with me dating her. But I have been thinking over the last few days, that I try dating some women who are 22-23 to see how the age difference would be. I have dated only girls that have been my age, which to be honest, I really don't like to do. I found them to be too immature at times especially in college. I do not believe this pertains to their ages, but really their personalities and mindsets.

[DarkWinterNights]

Assuming you wait until she’s 18, a 10 year gap isn’t a big deal when you get older, but she’s growing up in a very different time, it may be difficult to relate to each-other. By the time she’s your age she could be a very different person.

[rideorsleep]

@DarkWinterNights nice profile picture, who did you steal from?

[DarkWinterNights]

@rideorsleep, Lol. I’ve had the Existential Cow since I joined the site- maybe 2 years ago? I’ve seen a few other people with it, I always assumed it was a visual bug with the site though.

[rideorsleep]

You're a bad liar, anyway, it's okay

[DarkWinterNights]

Nope, earliest screenshot I have on my phone is from December 7, 2021.

[Asker]

True, but then again I can always see who she is now. One of my biggest regrets was not pursuing my ex until I was older (we are the same age) because she literally dated a Nazi that broke her mind and morals. It didn't help things that her dad also recently had died. I lose touch with her for a few years, and now she is a terrible human, lying, censoring, racist, pernicious, sleeps around. One bad influence can cause a person to go down the rabbit hole especially if they date this person for 2-3 years.

[Avicenna]

You should pass on her altogether

[Chthou95]

Wait til she's 18. Dont be fucking dumb and try to pursue anything now

[Asker]

I am not going to pursue her until she is 18+. I ain't going down for something stupid like that.

[Ironic_Method]

It sounds like you think it's creepy just because it's illegal, as you imply it'll be fine after a year.

[Asker]

Ya, and also because I do believe that once a person turns 18, they do become an adult in the legal and societal sense. When I was 18, I had to be sat down by my parents and told that if I committed any crimes that I would go to big-boy prison instead of juvie. I have never committed a crime in my life, and I am not about to start now.

[DextroShade]

Wait it out, also check the age of consent in your area. In my state 17 is legal. Ignore the hags and simps who would shame you for wanting a younger woman, liking a 17 year old is NOT pedophilia.

[Asker]

It is 18 in my neck of the woods. I feel like this is something that she has been holding onto for a couple of years because, I left town for years and returned a couple of months ago. I am going to date women that are 22-23 for a bit to see if the age difference is any issue. I do not expect the relationship to last more than a few months with a 22-23 year old girl to careers or grad school becoming more important for most people at that age. But it will be a fun time to see if I want to pursue someone even younger at 18.

[misogynistic_pig]

In my country the age of sexual consent is 14 years.

[Asker]

I used to live in a country where the age of consent was 12 for 1400 years, and they have had to periodically raise it to 16 over the last 25 years. It is stayed at 16 for almost 10 years now.

[Massageman]

If you've already decided to "wait it out", then I guess your decision has already been made.

[Asker]

True, but here is the thing I am looking at dating 22-23 year olds in a few months. I want to date an 18 year old just for the sake of it, because I want to act kinda like a sugar daddy a little bit. It will likely not work out, but I still want to give it a try in a year once she is 18 and I have some more money.

[zagor]

You can always just hang out with her for now.

[Asker]

True, and figure out her personality more. I am really bad about figuring out people's personalities until it rears its ugly head.

[gorydetails]

Even when she turns 18, what could you possibly have in common with her?

[Asker]

For starter's, we both don't like the dementia ridden balloon currently occupying the Oval Office. Lol

[gorydetails]

that's a start, but she's still a child, mentally.

[zagor]

I've known girls in their teens who were much more mature and responsible than a lot of 30 year old women so you can't go solely by age.

[gorydetails]

@zagor an 18 year old is barely out of elementary school. A 27 year old is established in a full time career. Quit your bullshit.

[zagor]

A 27 year old can be a ditz. An 18 year old can be quite mature. Again, people are very different. While I wouldn't think of dating an 18 year old today, when I was 27 I would have.

[gorydetails]

@zagor sounds like slightly legal pedophelia.

[zagor]

A pedophile is someone who is attracted to prepubescent children, or at least those who haven't completed puberty. I don't know of any 18 year olds of whom that is true; most females have completed puberty at least a couple years before that.

[gorydetails]

@zagor you aren’t after an 18 year old because of her personality, lol. Quit the bullshit

[HippieVeganJewslim]

Go out wið Her now! If Ye have no sexual contact, it’s all fine and ðe ruddy pigs would have no right to arrest any of You.

[Anonymous]

If she was git i would not think twice, it is legal here in the UK anyways.

[Opinion Owner]

I meant fit

[Asker]

She would make a pretty bird, as you lot say it across the Atlantic Isles. See, I very much consider the laws of the uk as having no bearing on an American whatsoever. In fact, we cannot get deported to the English controlled areas of the Atlantic Isles but, y'all can get deported to us! But ya, it is 18 in these parts.

[Opinion Owner]

Under a extradition treaty we can both extradite citizens. The word you are looking for is extradite not deport, when you tried to offend me and failed, making yourself look thick in the process.

[Asker]

Again, no extradition treaty in effect per the conditions I outlined, if you think I am wrong prove it through objective facts. Honestly, your hostile intent is showing through as I merely pointed out a neutral legal fact. Deport, well simply put, I would never set foot in such a cesspool with such hostile individuals.

[Opinion Owner]

Says the Yank from the USA were they cannot stop shooting each other with guns. The USA has such a high crime rate compared to the rest of the world and you voted Trump as president. I really don't think you have nay room to talk about being hostile. We don't want you here in the UK anyway, you keep infecting us with your non culture.

[KrakenAttackin]

Wait until she is at least 18.

[LiamJHayden]

Pass. Not worth the drama.

[riverrat3]

Talking does no harm, find out if you want to wait

[Asker]

Ya, I should definitely talk to her more.

[EaterPeter]

Wait for her