Is it better to be friends before dating?

[Anonymous]

[JSmuve]

No. It's not better but it's not worse. Its just a longer, more circuitous path of getting from point A to point B that doesn't always work. Who gets to decide to change the terms of the relationship? In a perfect world, the feelings are mutual but very often they aren't. My experience is that women that you're friends with will tease the friendzone with hints of interest to see if you bite but then jam you back in when they find someone else, thereby damaging the friendship and making you feel like you've been led on. Guys, on the other hand, are less subtle and will make the leap, falling flat on their face.

Being friends first benefits women more than men because it lets her decide whether she's into you enough without the pressure. But if a guy does the same, the woman will likely interpret that as a lack of interest and will move on with enough time, claiming that he never made a move. While a woman can be coy, the guy's interest has to be stated or implied upfront, regardless of whether he's friends with her. Not doing so puts you in the friendzone until she wants you bad enough to remove you and you're perspicacious enough to act on her subtle change of script, which she won't tell you.

[dynamicyandere]

Counterintuitively, that has actually worked well for me.


But, I suspect it’s because I end up being a “friend” that isn’t truly friend-zoned.


“He’s just a friend.” (But she actually likes him?) That seems to be where I’ve ended up a lot of the time.


For women I’ve dated, I was the “friend” that they wanted something more from.


All my long term relationships started off with me being a friend that they fell in love with.


So, from my experience, friends before dating? Not a problem.


But everyone’s dating style is different. I just happen to be good at being friends without getting friend-zoned.

[Smiling_Baby21]

I don't want to necessarily call it making them my friend, but more of, if I am dating someone, I would like to have a friendship fixed somewhere. Because there is a freedom in communication that exists in friendships that doesn't exist in most relationships. Hope that explains it better 😁

[DarkCarousel]

I like to get to know someone just as a person before I date them, in a friendly way. I enjoy the friendship first aspect but it can be complicated with misunderstandings. If you want to go from friends to something more, you’ll need to be very clear with communicating that.

[OlderAndWiser]

It is okay, even preferable for many people, to begin dating without immediately plunging into a sexual relationship but you should make your partner aware of your romantic interest from the very beginning. Otherwise, you are headed for the graveyard known as the Friend Zone. You should at least be holding hands and having a good night kiss at the end of your dates.

[Pinay_ako]

No. I don’t date friends

[razelove]

No, never. You're a back-up and completely temporary until someone else comes along in that situation.

Your absolute best possible outcome is that you are the last option, and she cannot find any other options over the course of your relationship.

Go for being friends with benefits, don't date. If someone was going to date you it would have started that way.

[WanderingLoveWizard]

No. Friendship and romance are two different things. The last thing you wanna do is establish a certain type of relationship, then try to take it to the next level. Too many things can and will go wrong, because you're used to a certain bond and type of behavior around each other that will feel wrong when altered.
The only time friends should become lovers is if it just happens naturally

Get to know someone first? Sure. Be friends? Absolutely not. There is a difference

[Titanic1912]

Yes. I was just hanging out with a girl. After we went out 4 times, we fell in love with each other and we said we’re dating. Then, we kissed each other accidentally the next time we went out and then the next, we became official. Before and after every time we got together after that, we greeted each other with a kiss and we parted ways with a kiss. After 4 dates with the same girl, take it to the next level. No sex. After 4 dates, just say you’re dating.

[VadeinVain]

In my experience dating a "friend", we weren't ever the same as the rest of my friends. We unofficially developed a romantic relationship before I decided to just say how I felt outright. I thought we were normal buddies at first until an actual friend proposed that I was attracted to him, and at that point I realized how lovable he was to me all along.

[VadeinVain]

It's better in the sense that you would know you already have some connection. But it's also just something that won't take a whole lot of thought if it happens. It's a "natural" romance.

[Ckckaka]

Dating complicates things. Personally, either I see someone as a dating/relationship material and I'm interested to get to know the person (similar to becoming friends), but the goal is clear in that case, or we're just friends and I don't see this person that way.

[KingOfMe1]

How's that working out for you? Jw

[asphaltrhymes]

If a guy you were interested, would you sense it almost immediately or make that determination almost immediately once coming across them him or meeting him, and would you show interest by asking "how are you" either in a flirty way or normal way but you know, if they respond equally, you'd keep wanting to talk to them etc? Or I'm just curious how quickly your mind or a woman's mind makes the calculation "I like this guy/I like this guy and I want him to know" lol or is it a long drawn out process delayed process lol takes a few encounters before even saying hi how are you or as Joey from Friends would so do "how you doin' lol? 👀😬

[Ckckaka]

@asphaltrhymes it really depends where did I meet that person. Usually it's not a complete stranger, I know basic information, maybe his friends etc. But if I'm attracted to him physically/romantically that we'll certainly come across by my flirty behavior (it's just the way it works). But the process may be long, sometimes you hit off immediately, sometimes you need tims to process things or see the person in a different light

[Emelina]

Yes absolutely!! Thats how you get to know someone better than rushing into a relationship that may not work out at all.

[DancingQueen16]

Well I don't know if it's better but it helps because before me and my boyfriend started dating we were best friends from middle school all the way to the day we finished high school

[DaddyDiablo]

It helps sometimes to get n be comfortable and what not but I've experienced some different too like just dated and got to know them as we went n hung out and dated and what not

[AutisticLonelyWoman]

I was told that the first time I started dating. My family is very overprotective of me since I’m autistic and a bit of a nice girl sometimes or I don’t always make the best choices I’m guys.

[Nikki1989]

Not always. Sometimes dating can sour a friendship.

[RavVid]

Nah. Female friends are in the sister category of relationships.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Yes, Its impossible to know if its a good idea to date them otherwise.

[DextroShade]

No, you need to make your intentions clear up front instead of wasting time trying to escape the friend-zone.

[Lauliss]

Well, duh. How else are you gonna know the other person and create an emotional connection?

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

No. I never believed in that. With my ex it just naturally happened, no friendship was needed as we already liked each other.

[shades777]

never really had that situation, all my gfs came through cold approaches, no referrals, no leads, just put myself out there and see what happens

[Reorx]

No, this will get you friendzoned in today's culture.

[Reorx]

Better off expressing your intentions from the start anyway, you don't want her thinking you're deceitful. When I like a woman I let her know, flagrantly check her out, her reaction tells me whether I'm wasting my time or not.

[Anonymous]

Yes. But most women do not want that. Which is why so many women fail so miserably.

[Anonymous]

Probably works out better for most people as long as you don’t get stuck in the friend zone

[Adam1978]

Unless we talk growing up together no.

[WhitneySnow]

I think it really helps

[Ms_Facesitter]

It's best to know WHO you are dating.

[Rangers]

Girls don't date friends, dude

[Justagirl_03]

Maybe, yes

[DawnCoyote]

depends on the situation.

[alicat2358]

Definitely

[California_Poppy]

Absolutely not.

[Anonymous]

Yes, of course. It makes perfect sense.

[ProbablyClueless]

I think so

[Amishaxx]

I guess..

[In_Trance]

terrible idea

[Anonymous]

Definitely