How did you start dating again as a single parent?

[Anonymous]

I've been single for 5 years and it has been a rollercoaster ride. The thing is now that I'm liking single life a little too much lol, men would ask me out and I would make conversation but that would be all. I've been thinking is there something wrong with me why I'm not interested in any one? I get turned off easily by the way and sometimes I would want to start dating again but I don't know how.

[Finchie40]

I am in the same shoes as you , My ex wife cheated on me and we ended , When I was ready to start dating again , I didn’t realize what I was walking into by entering back into the dating world today and how selfish people have become , the dating world has been an even crazier rollercoaster ride for me, I blame a lot of it on social media , but what I have realized , is most people in general are selfish people , that only really do or care what is best for them , yes we all have selfishness in us , but the key to love and happiness is learning to remove your inner selfishness for someone that should be doing the same for you, understanding that you can’t always be right and the other person is always wrong , understanding you can’t expect someone to do for you , if you can’t do for them , Most people are infatuated with each other when they meet someone new and exciting that are attracted to each other , most people do not look at the big picture before before jumping into a relationship , they are just infatuated with this new person. Why I no longer jump into a relationship with a girl , cuz I take commitment seriously , I am not going to give my heart to someone that can’t give their heart back in return, it needs to go both ways or it will not work. when I date a girl , my intentions is to have her Coming back for more and more hoping her and I have great chemistry’s and connection together , and hoping she really wants the same as I do , and we can stay loyal to each other , we aren’t mind readers and we really don’t know what someone’s true intentions are when we first meet someone , it’s basically like judging a book by it’s cover , we can all assume things and we can all be selfish without realizing we are being selfish. So to really know what someone’s true intentions are , takes time , If I notice she doesn’t know how to remove selfishness for me and I notice she only thinks about what is best for her, I will not waste my time pursuing her , basically thank you for a good time but not a long time , you can’t expect someone to sacrifice for you, if you clearly can’t sacrifice for them , It needs to go both ways or the relationship will not last , We can easily point fingers at someone else , over pointing fingers at ourselves first , When you learn to accept someone’s flaws, the same way you want them to accept your flaws , that’s where love grows. So in your situation , it sounds to me , you can only accept things your way , You have gotten use to being single because things go your way , and think you can only accept things the way you want them to be , sadly that’s what’s making you a selfish person , Sadly , you will keep continuing having failed relationships if you don’t learn to remove selfishness , so until you learn to remove selfishness for someone , don’t expect them to remove selfishness for you., you will keep continuing to have failed relationships , For a relationship to work and for love to grow , It needs to go both ways or it will not work period. We can only give what we want to receive , you can’t keep receiving from someone , if you are not giving back the same or equivalent in return period. When you learn to prioritize your partner over everyone else , it will make it easier for them to be able to prioritize you , over everyone else , your friends your family and your co workers , your partner needs to be your top priority or you will not last in a relationship, if your partner can’t prioritize you , then you will not be able to prioritize them as well , making them not the person for you , A relationship can not be one sided period , For you to experience true love , you have to learn to remove your inner selfishness the same way you want your partner to do for you , or it will turn into double standards , when you only care about what is best for you you will not be able to have a connection with someone period Always remember this , what you don’t want your partner doing to you , that hurts your feelings and makes you upset , needs to go for you as well , If you tell your partner that you don’t like something they are doing , or you don’t like someone they are hanging out with , you have to remember the same goes for you as well , if your partner doesn’t like someone that you are hanging out with then you are best to distance yourself from that other person period and prioritize your partner , You are no longer single anymore when you choose to commit to someone , Most relationships fail because people only think what is best for them , without factoring in how their partner truly feels they just assume things are ok when really they aren’t , it’s important to Wear each other’s shoes before making decisions period , understand you can’t always be right and they are wrong , understand you can’t always get your way Understand honesty is very important when meeting someone new and honesty is very important while you are in a relationship , when you are honest about yourself and honest about what you are looking for in a relationship and honest to your partner by putting everything on the table for them to see in the beginning , is what they should receive from you 10 years from now , you don’t change , you are who you are in the beginning of any relationship , don’t ever think you can change someone , you are only digging your grave when you think you can change someone period , if they choose to walk away from you let them go , because you didn’t change , they did? Don’t ever let someone make you feel you are to blame when you know for a fact that you have been honest with them from the start , Relationships don’t fail because of incapability , they fail because of immaturity , , No one changes , from what you received and accepted in the beginning as long as they are honest with you as well , what you get now is what you will get 10 years from now , we are all incompatible people , we all Come from different paths in life and all experienced different things in life , Be honest with someone and don’t like or keep secrets , if you want someone to be honest with you , you need to be honest with them period. We all learn from our past mistakes , we all learn from our past relationships , and we are all imperfect people , Remove selfishness of you want to experience n true love

[PositiveFlight]

It’s easy to feel single and free. I would encourage you to not play the field too much. Do what you need to do to protect yourself and ensure that a man is genuine, but don’t play men who are good. You will find that there is a lack of good men out there anyway. Most nowadays are selfish and do not care about much other than getting their physical needs met. If you find a man who truly values your children and you, don’t play games with him. See if he is someone that you could see spending the rest of your life with and if he is, grab onto him and don’t let go. Marry him! This is a dark and dangerous world. And it’s going to get much worse over the next several years. Men and women truly do need each other in this world. Gone quickly are the days of fun and games. Children need both a man and a woman in the home. Whether biological or not, children still need a father figure full-time. Once you find someone who you know genuinely loves and cares for you and your children, you can have sexual relations that are out of this world good with him because you know he is genuine. Because such relations are built on the foundation of true love, selflessness, and respect.

[Pollokpark]

Amazing 5 years of learning what you dont want !! Your ahead in life knowing who you are, developed what you stand for, have assessed you morals & valued probly all without contiously knowing !! thats a lot of knowledge gained. Thats powerful.

Its easy 🙏 whilst your free goto safe healthy places that good, decent, hard working people go to with excellent morals & values ( the kind of people youd like to be with long term & not end up with a foreseable embarasment in the storybook of your life from this day on just for the sake of feeling wanted.

Youl have fun hanging out getting lunch or joining an art club or climbing group... what ever your into get into IT!! The more you do what makes you happy & i mean get stuff booked youv never done, it can be free stuff or you can train to breath fire if you want... The more people your around like you !! The higher the chances you get chatting to someone thats into stuff your into... think about the dream life style you want.

I feel like in this day you need to be BOLD as a woman !!! look for a few days out so your prepped when you take that deep breath & try not be serious think of it as acting like your fav movie star and randomly ask someone you think you may have a fun day with or get a friend to arrange blind dates or go speed dating or lazy dating on E Harmony or other paid very serious dating site ❤️... Good luck🌙!!

[Apple1996]

Don't listen to everyone in the comments. Some guys are very into moms since they are easier to have relationships with. Obviously your not looking for a replacement daddy so make that clear that you just want someone to love/form a relationship with

[BobLouis]

Everyone is like that now. Younger eople feel shy or embarrassed when talking to someone. The raise in antinatalism is increasing. I know so many women that told me they want a kids and family and when they turned 25 they stopped caring about that.

It's like what Elon musk said less people care about procreation. And are just bored with life. We need to find new ways to maintain interest in living or it's all going down hill from here.

[Anonymous]

if you are not interested in anyone and enjoying being single don't stress over it. Just be a single person. There is probably no reason for you to have a man again. Especially now that you have a kid and will be unable to secure someone better than your ex, I see only downsides for you in relationships.

[Asker]

This made no sense🤦🏽‍♀️😂

[nawtee_me]

As a single parent I put off dating to raise my kids and not that they are grown I find things have changed to much and I have missed out on to much to start dating now. I would prefer a single mother to be honest. They have it together way better than girls without kids.

[DarkWinterNights]

Unless you actually want to find someone, I wouldn’t try to start dating again yet. Men can sense two things, desperation and apathy and both are a turnoff for anyone actually worth dating.

[Dede162000]

Nope I will not be dating again. But not bc I would be a single mom but bc there’s no point in dating in this generation 😂

[DextroShade]

If you have a kid you will need to lower your standards because any guy would already be lowering his for you.

[Asker]

Not gonna happen

[DextroShade]

Then buy a dog and die alone.

[Apple1996]

If anything both people need to raise their standards since kids are involved

[PositiveFlight]

I’m very much agree with Apple. When children are involved, everyone else who is an adult needs to actually be an adult. There should be higher standards, not lower.

As a guy, it’s not all about me. Whether they’re my biological children or not, I would want their needs to be put first before mine. Some guys see a single mom and just take advantage of her sexually while trying to get her to ignore her children. This is absolutely wrong! A good guy would come into the picture and reassure her that her children are top priority to him. He wouldn’t try to replace the dad, but he would certainly try to be a dad.

Some guys just don’t get it. They think they can come in and be selfish and the mom is going to just take him in and give him everything he wants. But he is more likely to receive affection from her when she knows that he has her and her children’s best interests in mind first. That’s what a loving man should do. Because it’s what people who care about others do, not to get things but because they truly and genuinely care.

[DextroShade]

@Apple1996 men who would meet those high standards don't take baby mommas seriously. They are lucky to even get an average man.

[MementoMori777]

sounds like lack of motivation tbh, and i think deep down you know where that unmotivation comes from but you haven't found that reason yet

[MementoMori777]

my guess would be your past relationship, you did so much and been together for a lot of things and it ending so maybe that unmotivated from growing interest in others, that and the comfort of being single of course lol

[OddBeMe]

Not a parent, but as a guy, my first thought would be “is she gonna expect me to become a parent to her kid?” Answer that question and then find a way to advertise that to potential dates.

[Iron_Man]

I’m not a parent

[Jmmmfi4]

Only you can know