Why are there guys that are smart, funny, attractive, respectful and confident that want a partner end up alone?

[Anonymous]

If a guy has these qualities why is he being rejected I am one of those guys.

[DaveJord]

Wow, great question!!! I mean I have asked to myself about this often. I have two theories:

1) Being truly objective about yourself is very difficult. So, there is a chance that I am not smart, funny, respectful and I am just lying to myself.

Note: I left out attractive and confident. Because I know I am attractive, I been told enough times by many people... so either everyone is lying, or I am full of shit. Confident... well I know I am confident. Given my life experiences, if I was not truly confident, I would be completely overwhelmed and crushed by now.

So, this leads me to my second theory...

2) Women are not interested in all those qualities, they just say they are until they honestly meet a truly, smart, funny, attractive, respectful and confident person and it freaks them out!!!

There is some truth in both theories, it is hard to be truly objective about yourself... and the second part is that if honestly you are all those things, it can be seriously intimidating for some women.

I have had woman call me an arrogant ass... which sure I can understand that. Especially if you are an insecure person. My leave of confidence can really generate some anxiety for these types... so, I get why they could say that about me.

I have had woman tell me, that I am seriously the real deal, and they just are not ready for someone like me. Which, to me is probably a nice way of saying I am arrogant ass... but these are the ones that really like it though. And that freaks them out, because they could really fall for someone like me, and the idea of making themselves vulnerable to that level of attraction can be intimidating. Especially when they have been hurt before, and at my age who hasn't been hurt?

In the end if you truly are all the things, you have laid out, then who could really match that? Who is worthy of being with someone who is all that and more? Most people would find it difficult.

Because confidence, can be seen as lacking in empathy, and as being arrogant, self righteous and unsympathetic.

Smart is objective, we all have our own beliefs and understandings, I know lots of the smartest dumb people in the world. Like they really smart but can't figure out how to turn a TV without a remote.

Same is true for being funny, you can be hilarious... but if they do not appreciate the humor your just an asshole... funny but still an asshole.

Respect is hard to gauge, because I feel I am very respectful. But then I have often dated woman, that did not see the respect I felt I was giving as being truly or sincerly respectful. So, it's really hard to say... because there are so many things I never said or did, out of respect... but then when I say that I am somehow being disrespectful because I feel that way... so am I respectful or do I just think I am?

[Anonymous]

The same reason why people won't buy an excellent book unless the cover is attractive. When to women.. that cover becomes the ability to create that attraction to entice them to want to know the story. Then once they open the book, they want more...

[virtualwasp]

i dont know, i like one guy but I've had a beer or two soo im a bit drunk and lovey dovey, shabbos starts 26 mins

[Anonymous]

The same reason why smart an talented guys don't get good jobs. They suck at selling themselves.

Women seldom choose the best guy. They choose the most convincing guy. Doesn't matter whether he's full of s*** or not. Women have a hard time discerning reality from fantasy. They're almost always going to choose an interesting lie to a boring truth. Want to up your game with women learn how to lie effectively.

[Asker]

I was still able to get jobs lol. Who wants to date someone who lies all the time a liar.

[Opinion Owner]

Yes get jobs. But the best job you were qualified for? And I didn't mean the knowingly chose liars. I said the choose the most effective liars. I'm also talking about women that use the least amount of sense. Of course some women are better, and we're raised better than others.

[SnowedIn]

It means that one or more of those things isn't as true as you think (or not as much as you think) or there's something else about you that is a turn off.

[Asker]

What else could it be need e. g? Other aspects. Dress sense and smell , including work are ✔️ green ticks that I've been told I have.

[SnowedIn]

There are hundreds of possibilities but, just as a couple examples, maybe someone thought you were arrogant or they didn't like the way you talk or you wore Nike that day and they're opposed to that company. Sometimes we're just not liked and there isn't an easy answer to why.

[strateguy632]

hmm i guess they like the bad guys?