Why do men choose to be lonely and not have girlfriends?

Question

The male loneliness epidemic is strange. Why do they bring it on themselves? It's like they haven't tried going to a café or the beach and making friends. They're chronically online, but the ironically the internet is also a great place to build social relations.

D_Bone_Steak · Accepted Answer

The first question I would have for this man... what do your options look like?

If the guy has shit options because the women around him are fat, shit, or just sluts that would bring more trouble than any pleasure... I don't blame the fucking guy.

I'm not going to blame any guy that looks to his left, and then to his right, and then just says "fuck it."

As the saying goes "Is the juice even worth the squeeze?" ... and some of these dude have demands on them to make $1M/year, be buff af, giant dick, and then get tortured with her equally unrealistic attitude. I don't blame the guy for saying "Fuck all that work, I can beat my dick like it owes me money, and then play videogames instead and chill the fuck out with my free time."

I mean seriously... he might be a golden god to a lot of women if he goes passport bro.

Here was my story... I was working, and living in Japan... hookers was still legal af. I didn't even consider the idea of having a girlfriend at all from age 19 to 26, because I already get all the pussy I want and why should I bother with a woman with such a time consuming endeavor, when I could do other things? The U. S. gov changed everything and turned it into human trafficking and only then... did I make "girlfriends." I had three of them at the same time because I was so used to fucking that one was not going to ever be enough anymore.

When I came back to America... holy fuck... these women are trash and too demanding! Not to mention most of them are fat. I spent about 3 months not getting a single pussy around my dick. The game, the demands and checklists, the SMV's, and the STD's and random no daddy baby rates are so fucking different here. The hookers here I wouldn't even touch. They post shit like "condomless sex is nice, oh and I have AIDS and herpes" and I'm like "oh heeeeeeeeelllllll NO!!!" I'm not fucking these chicks... they're dirty and nasty.

Make a male dating profile here, and you will get to see this shit for yourself ladies.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

I don’t think most of them choose to be single , some do and some don’t , the ones that want a girlfriend probably haven’t met the right girl yet that chooses them the same , or they choose not to get into a relationship at all , because of all the horror stories they hear and read about on social media , Or he has tried , and he keeps getting rejected by girls’ he likes so he just threw in the towel and said fuck it , no girl likes me , so what’s the point of trying. Guy’s can be just as shy as girls’ when it comes to liking someone , they don’t have the confidence and self esteem to approach someone they like or interested in. They become their own worst enemy. I use to be shy when I was younger and some how some way I got over that shyness to the point if I see a beautiful girl that catches my eye , I go for it , whether she denies me or not , the way I look at it is, I rather have an answer then no answer at all. Sadly not everyone can get passed that shy stage in their lives. If I knew the answer I would gladly share , but I don’t know the answer lol I just go for it and take my chances and figure what do I really have to lose , I will probably never see that girl again unless I take the chance. So my advice is to just accept
Yourself for who you are and treat people the way you want to be treated , not everyone is going to like you and not everyone is going to hate you , we are all on this Earth for a limited amount of time , so make the best of it , as much as you can.

MzAsh · Accepted Answer

Some men, but not all. They want girlfriends. They absolutely do, so don’t let them lie to you. They just want women to come easy, and they want relationships with women on their terms, not hers. I believe almost all complaints men have about women fall into one or both of those categories. And because men have realized women have standards higher than they can reach, and that women aren’t going to fall in line with the dynamics men want, they “choose” to stay single.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Accepted Answer

It’s because they’ve been under the impression that just being a polite and decent person is enough to get a girl to ask them out, and then they become upset and complain when that turns out to not be the case. It’s no longer enough to just not be an asshole to become a husband and have a family, now women want a man who will add intrinsic value to their lives in ways that are more than just material and they can’t understand what that means.

MisterWack · Answer

“Why do men choose to be lonely and not have girlfriends?”

You don’t know what that individual is going through. Anywhere from social media think tanks to asexuality to depression to personal choice to focus on your best life before settling down with a girl. I don’t care what the reason is for the specific person, I believe in my right to mind my own business & let them sort out their priorities and business.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Any one of them thats wife material is at home gaming, watching anime and sci-fi/fantasy movies/nature docs and drawing, animating, building stuff, programming, writing, composing music, creating new culinary dishes, and caring for pets on her free time.

She isn't the type to go to a bar because she doesn't drink alcohol.
She isn't the type to be at a church because she's an atheist.
She isn't the type to go to the beach because hot days suck.
She isn't the type to sit in a cafe because she doesn't drink coffee or buy overpriced food when she knows how to cook, and public internet connections are no place for a smart person's computer.
She isn't the type to go to the library because they never have reference books for intellectuals in them, and she'd rather buy a new, undamaged copy and always have it on hand.
She isn't the type to go to sporting events, because those are boring.
She would go to an arcade, but she has those games at home.
She does go to collectable shops, but she's in and out quick because she knows what she is looking for.
She enjoys the zoo, but that lacks any social interaction triggers with people, and the animals will hold her attention (same goes for the science museum).
My area doesn't have a comicon or akihabara type shopping district, but she'd go to either of those.

I could go on, but basically unless I go knocking on random doors, going out will not result in meeting the female equivalent of myself.

My only options to meet her are in a multiplayer lobby or online forum, and she is rare enough that we are probably in different states.

She isn't going to use things like facebook or instagram, because she hates having political garbage, depressing news, whiny people, and soapbox rants in her face daily.

The problem is American women who are worth marrying hide online in the states, especially in multiplayer gaming, and they don't use dating sites, so all the ones I find online that are perfect matches are in other countries or already taken.

What exactly am I supposed to do to "not be lonely"?
I only even know these types of women exist in the states because the taken ones no longer hide and some of them are online content creators.

ManOnFire · Answer

You have to keep in mind that a lot of men of today, but particularly the young ones, fear going out there and trying to mingle with women. For 2 reasons: 1. They're afraid of looking stupid and having no conversation to actually offer, no life experiences or anything. And 2. They're afraid because girls have been trained to act unnecessarily nasty towards them and trained to see males as the enemy, so they fear that a girl will just do it to him if he tries to mingle.

Other men do not make this better either however. Believe it or not, many guys do cause problems for each other when one is interested in a woman, because the others will be jealous especially if he is actually talking to her, what they didn't have the guts to do. So these other guys will play games similar to jealous females by trying to depict the guy as bad, desperate, or trying to tell others that he's bothering her or shouldn't be talking to her. Keep in mind that males today are more effeminate and learn these things from their female peers in youth and in school.

So a lot of dudes will feel like trying to have a woman is a hassle. And of course RedPill doesn't help either. Many guys would rather subscribe to that then get it together and go out there and talk to females.

buzzword · Answer

Roughly half of people are introverted. Women tend to be more extroverted than men. Extroverts seek attention and are energized by being with others. Introverts enjoy solitude and feel drained by being with other people. So really more men prefer to be alone. It's a good thing for man's psychology, were as constantly having to give attention to other people is stressful and tiring. In contrast, the majority of women get lonely and feel drained when they can't feed off of the emotional energy of other people. They always have relationship goals because they fear being alone. Being alone for most women is depressing and stressful. This is why women always want to go out somewhere where other people are like shopping malls, restaurants, concerts, etc. and men tend to build man caves, play video games, work in their garage, etc. Women need to feed on other people like vampires and men need time alone to think. The problem for you is that you are effeminate, so you lack an understanding of general male psychology and seek attention like a typical women.

Shamalien · Answer

Because being alone is better than being with the wrong woman, and truthfully, most women who are interested in me I am not interested in. Single mom? Bye. Fat? Bye. Slut? Goodbye. Normie who took the covid jab? Goodbye.

I’ve made some mistakes in life, but not as bad as those girls, I chose to live in a more cautious way and I am not going to be paying for their poor choices when I have made better ones. When I meet someone on my level who is not going through hell in their personal life (so many people are these days and just aren’t in a good emotional place to date) then I will date that person. Anytime I’ve chosen to abandon my standards it hasn’t ended well, so I’m sticking to them. If I wanted to date some girl and fuck her I easily could, but if she’s not ultimately the one I will marry, what’s the point in leading her on?

Of course I can’t speak for all men. A large percentage of us are simply porn addicted losers with no career or higher aspirations, and they shouldn’t complain about anything before getting their house in order.

My house is in order, and the single moms are flocking, looking for a provider, but it’s not gunna be me. I’d rather never have sex again than pick up the baggage of one of these women, and idgaf if they are a literal supermodel, it’s their mind and soul I am repulsed by. If I had no conscience I’d use em for sex, but I don’t like treating women that way.

More and more it becomes clear to me why spiritual people follow a path of celibacy. It’s the only moral option most of the time.

236color · Answer

I have seen a lot of questions supposedly from girls that were obviously guys. This is the first time I think it might be the other way around. If you are in fact and 21 year old young man and you don't know the answer to this question, congratulations on being either wealthy or extremely good looking or both. We mere mortals don't find life so easy. If on the other hand, you are a girl wondering why no guys are approaching you, I want you to watch what happens when a random guy approaches a woman other than yourself. How many times does the guy get rejected? How many times is the rejection not just "no thank you" but cruel? How many of your girlfriends tell you about the kind of guy they deserve? It's becoming a zero sum gain for guys. Even if he gets a chance, he's strip mined for his resources and dropped an empty husk by the road. Do you ever think what HE deserves? You can't expect men to sign up for something that doesn't benefit them at all.

morganherrel · Answer

Just a shot in the dark:  they haven't found the right person? I mean statistically, today's women are mostly chubby and unattractive in America (and it's their fault), and I'm not sure why any guy would put up with that unless he's desperate (often the case). Women can be very demanding without bringing much to the table. Partly because dating apps and some social media give them an inflated sense of attractiveness (really sad). Partly because they are more educated and accomplished now which makes them expect more of their partner (kinda valid in my opinion but ik many guys disagree with me).

PatKirby · Answer

Because of peace.

Men choose to be alone instead of enduring the daily misery that comes from chronic immaturity, entitlement, narcissism, demands, and unrealistic expectations that come from the vast majority of materialistic and masculine Western women. The juice is no longer worth the squeeze.

I date foreign women. They're incredibly feminine, take care of themselves (ahem, not fat), intelligent, interesting to talk to, know how to please a man, and are just plain fun to be around.

Why do men choose to be lonely and not have girlfriends?

Oncewildtwiceburned · Answer

They have too high of standards. The statistics say that they are themselves weak and/or obese (like most of their female peers -masculinized and obese) they need to date down just like most of their ancestors did if they don’t want to be alone.

Also, men are mostly in two categories these days. Outgoing dominant and masculine or weak emasculated or introverted. There are some dominant ones that isolate and a mixed bag of other types but for the most part its the first two I mentioned.

This is a problem, the introverts don’t get out and meet each other anymore, they used to have venues now the only venues for weak men are lgbt type of stuff, so they are happy just playing video games and living life on auto-pilot. Dominant isolators have usually been burned by divorce or family court. Occasional hookups is enough for them, or their jobs and hobbies.

disappoint3d · Answer

Because overcoming objection is a paradox. women want to be chased. Yet they don't want to be bothered in public at the same time.

Previous generations advice would tell us to not give up after initial rejection and keep pursuing what you want, but in the case of modern dating, women only want to be chased by men they are ATTRACTED TO. And if you continue to pursue when she isn't attracted to you, you're a creep.

And yet what women are attracted to is subjective and shifts radically depending on what woman you ask.

But a lot of times women won't come out and say it that they don't want you because men to terrible things and women are constantly consuming true crime media.

Eventually we'll just breed ourselves out and people won't exist anymore and this won't be a problem.

CB-Raido-Time · Answer

I was always a loner I sat in class and I remember well when I was 7/8 years old staring at the girl in front of me way too intimidated to speak to her I wanted to so bad but I could not force myself into doing it no way. I would go home and think of her day and night until I saw her again in class.

That situation would never change I always saw them and that was always the same situation and it would never change I eventually stopped contemplating the change accepting that seeing them would have to be enough and concluded that is life.

Kelley1 · Answer

Because 30 to 50 percent of men don't have a choice. They can't have girlfriends if women reject them.

Anonymous · Answer

Spend 5 minutes on this site reading pink posts and you really have to ask?

Full disclosure, ofc this is the internet and you're going to see the worst parts of humanity on full display. But a lot of guys have tried IRL. And a lot have contended the juice simply is not worth the squeeze anymore. I can only speak for myself. I'm older, the women are less pleasant looking now, but most have lost none of the attitude.😆 she's got to give me a reason to at this point. If not I'm fine just the way things are.👍

TurtlePoop · Answer

I find this question to be funny.  Isn't it sad that I don't own a car? $10.00 per day lease with zero maintenance costs. Woe is me for not buying the cow. LOL

FreyaRed · Answer

I think lot of men are too historic about their loneliness. There are 105 men pro 100 women but 5% can't cause huge loneliness epidemic among men.
Of course most girls in their prime pick handsome and tall guys or experienced and wealthy older guys. However problem of men is, all of them from 16-60 focus on 18-25 yo. girls, what surely causes an imbalance but what's with women beyond 30?

Anonymous · Answer

They try to go from meeting a stranger to girlfriend in one move and it fails and they give up. You have to be friends with people first, all sorts of people, and then see if a girl you already know is interested in more.

Anonymous · Answer

There’s a number of reasons. One being that a majority of men are considered unattractive by women. Even the ones (women) in those men’s level think they’re unattractive. Two, a lot of men just don’t want to deal w women. More trouble than they’re worth to some men. Maybe some men had a long life partner who died, they don’t want to be w anyone else.

paledreams · Answer

I feel like it's half my path and half the road less travelled - whether I like it or not, care or not, fair well or not, it's just the life I've been rolled the dice for it seems - it is what is is :P gratefully of course - scary thunderstorm outside 🌧️☔

Anonymous · Answer

Because of two things:
Men who are a 6 and below on attractiveness have very little choice in the matter. Women 2s and above statistically don't see them as people.

And the second reason is, loneliness and peace is preferable to combative manipulative and controlling, and sometimes betrayal.

moviedude714 · Answer

I think there has been a male loneliness crisis going on for the past couple years now and I think it's only getting worse and it's a reminder on how why do I get the feeling the State of Affairs will always be the way they are in the way men and women interact with each other

DrPepper12 · Answer

Because it require them to reflect on their current situation and how they got there, it would require them to make themselves vulnerable if they want to fix the situation, it will require engagement, uncomfortability, soul searching and despite the stereotype, asking for real help & directions about life.

ProbablyClueless · Answer

Not many men are choosing it; loneliness is being forced on them.  The ones who are choosing it have done so because they're tired of dealing with women's behavior.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

Same reason women choose to. Once you realize you are worthless to the opposite sex, why bother trying anymore. Too many people do not know their own league and are always chasing something better, so why bother with people like this?

Anonymous · Answer

choosing a relationship is a 2 way street, not a 1 way street

even then, the women of today are nothing like the women of our mothers and grandmothers generation thanks to hoeflation

modern women have unrealistic standards which wouldn't be an issue if they could live up to their own achievable standards. if they want a top quality guy, then they best be a top quality gal which many are not and make excuses or use shame tactics

Anonymous · Answer

They either can't get a girl they find attractive so they would rather stay single (can't fault them for that. Everyone has to find their partner somewhat attractive) or their bad experiences with women in the past have made then stupid so they blindly hate all women.

the29thhuman · Answer

Male loneliness epidemic? Sounds self inflicted. They’ve made conscience choices to leave their children and abuse the women and isolate their loved ones. Change your behaviours in the world if you want any change. Women are happy and thriving in all aspects because we stand up for ourselves and empower one another.

Crankor · Answer

Not every single guy is lonely just because they chose to be single. For som3, there really isn't much of a difference in their life if they had one or not. In addition, there are a lot of girls as well as guys who are only interested in the sex. That also makes it a bit annoying in making an attempt for an actual relationship. Overall, if you have plenty of things to do in your life then it really isn't a big deal

MrCharlie13 · Answer

Getting a girlfriend requires social skills which males no longer develop in an increasingly online way of life.

Add in the social misconstructions that girlfriends are hard to deal with and that feminism is the enemy of modern males and no wonder why men prefer to be alone

ClassicDropout · Answer

What is this narrative? If a man is choosing to be single, that does not mean he's lonely. Tell me why I need to find a girlfriend today. I'm perfectly content without one. Change my mind.

katiesmuff · Answer

I certainly haven't noticed many lonely guys, most single guys I know are very happy at the moment to stay just that way.

jojouzumaki · Answer

Might be, they had given trust to people who betrayed them, in which they end up getting disappointed, and hurt. They might choose at the moment not to engage with anyone not unless they’re certain that it’s worth of their time.

Fromdusktilldawn · Answer

Well I accepted that I am undateable. I saw many guys get hurt and taken advantage off, I myself have also been hurt too many times. I just dont need that anymore.

Also I'm shy, introverted and short, so...

exitseven · Answer

Most guys I know that don't have a girlfriend are just not very attractive and cannot find a girl who will go out with them.

captain_voidwalker · Answer

Have you met women?

FunkyMonkee · Answer

I've NEVER chosen to be like that but, that's how I've been most of my life! And, it's looking like I'll BE that way for the REST of my life!!

JHAYES317 · Answer

We don’t choose too…we can’t get girlfriends either because we can’t attract women we find desirable, or we turn off girls by making a joke that offends them or being socially awkward etc

Agape93 · Answer

It's easier to blame and hurt others than to self reflect and put in effort

Stellastar_10 · Answer

It sounds funny to ask why someone wants to be "lonely", instead of "alone"? I doubt that anybody chooses to be lonely

Unit1 · Answer

"Choose" Pah!

Kattsnaiper · Answer

Its the soical stigma, like that they can't affor or provide to someone, or they are not able to find someone so they think they are not good enough to get a girlfriend. or they can be tired of girls cheating with other guys.

Anonymous · Answer

Obesity epidemic and unrealistic standards on the guys. All good because the top guys get to keep a harem again, like the good old days.

Redstang88 · Answer

I’ve tried and been burned for it every time, I’m done for a while

Logan2000 · Answer

Lol girls have pretty high standards these days. It can be hard for many guys to get rejected over and over. Not talking about myself tho..

scott04sa22 · Answer

I'm single for life because I don't drive and women finds guys more attractive behind the wheel 🤷🏻‍♂️

LiamJHayden · Answer

Some do so because they have only experienced high maintenance drama queens and wish to avoid that.

Giannishorny · Answer

I think loneliness is the cloak behind their failure to get a girlfriend

Anonymous · Answer

They don’t choose to be lonely. They are afraid of being called/labeled a creep If they approach a girl in public. And online dating sucks.

SolitarySolace · Answer

Because Men are happier and better off without a girlfriend

RedInnocent69 · Answer

More like a lot of losers can’t get one to save their soul

Anonymous · Answer

Men choose?  Men don't choose, they are because of girls nowadays all wanting the top 5% guy instead of an average guy.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm not sure I identify with your premise or reasoning. But the girls seem to like it so more power to you.

Tomisworthless · Answer

Are they truly 'lonely' if they choose to be isolated

Dongie · Answer

Who chooses. A good single woman is tough to find. Then you have to attract her.

Nerdvana · Answer

For me it's easier than being consonantly rejected or insulated.

noohair · Answer

Until people meet and pass the smell test, online anything is fantasy.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm 5'5 so I'm part of the demographic of men that don't have a choice in their loneliness. And from my perspective, the majority of guys that are 5'9+ and lonely are self-inflicted.

hunterzoloman6555 · Answer

Because being alone sucks but not as much as trusting the wrong person

chocolatetwopointo · Answer

some wants gfs and can't get one, some js dont want gfs at all

PeterLegg91 · Answer

They like Me don't want the stress of it and being restricted

Smegskull · Answer

Risk avoidance. The same reason women don't walk home alone at night.

Why do men choose to be lonely and not have girlfriends?

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Why do some guys prefer to live lonely?

Why do men choose to be lonely and not have girlfriends?

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Why do some guys prefer to live lonely?

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