Why don't men want relationships or want girlfriends?

Question

I’ll be 26. And never had a serious boyfriend.  everyone in my life is already married has babies, or a boyfriend, and I’m the only person single no partner.  I’ve never had a guy meet my family, attend family parties with me, take couple pics with me, hold my hand. I’ll be 26 and counting with zero expirence. I want do all this but it’s only a fantasy in my head of having a serious boyfriend.  On dating apps All men only want sex and admit it to me. I go alone to stores and all men are taken with girl and baby. I don’t have men go up to me to ask for my number or a date. I don’t have guy friends as guys only try be ur friend if they like you. At my job there are many men but the one guy that I like is my crush and he’s shy and I don't know if he’ll like me back. But anyways ,  I never encounter a man that wants a girlfriend and serious relationship. Men don’t pursue me and people say men have to pursue you so I’m 26 and still waiting and nothing. I’ve tried all the posible ways to find a boyfriend and men all say same thing I don’t want a girlfriend.

Whaler · Accepted Answer

My honest answer? Women are fucking disgusting with how they play with feelings and play victim. Obviosuly there are exceptions, but from my experience this is the majority.

I just broke up with a girl who I did as much as I could despite it being long distance. I was always there for her even when it was incredibly inconvenient for me. I bought her gifts for her to try to help with period pains, emotional pains, and her safety and encouraged her whenever and however I could. I genuinely gave it as much as I could. And instead of being met with the same effort back, we would argue over dumb things that shouldn’t matter, stuff like me using “but” instead of “and” in a sentence. Or guns, despite her knowing my job involves guns and that I’ve always had them. I’m a person who is supported with physical contact like hugs or snuggling. But she made very little effort in actually seeing eachother. And then when I finally confronted her she completely deflected everything onto me and made me feel like shit. Her emotions came before my own and it was exhausting. The worst part? She was one of the few people with a status that is attractive.

I want a girlfriend. But the reality is what I’m looking for is few and far between. I’m abstinent and look for exactly that when I meet a girl. The majority of girls today have multiple bodies, especially at my age. And it’s only getting worse. Yet despite their undesirability they continue to expect the world from the men they date, then they go on social media and listen to the sad single girls and make themselves doubt their choices and end the relationship.

So the honest answer is that women are disgusting. They have been taught no accountability, that they can do what they want and get away with it. They are taught to prioritize themselves always, even in a relationship, and rather than caring for their partner, they care for themselves. And worst yet? Women encourage that behavior in eachother and hardly ever keep eachother accountable. I encourage you to visit a post about a girl cheating. See the comments from the women. They are disgusting.

VanillaSalt · Accepted Answer

What value do men think women bring to their lives? What value do you think men SHOULD see in you? What do men want from women and are you actively trying to be what men want?

Most importantly is it that men don’t want you or that YOU don’t want the men that want you?

From my perspective women have too much choice and because of that their more picky than they should be. Many men don’t see a point in trying because it’s just gonna end in rejection. There’s studies that rejection manifests itself similar to physical pain. For what reason will a man put himself through that pain?

Women aren’t what the housewives tied to their husbands they used to be. Many have horrible attitudes and act superior to men. Now women are moving up in the world and that’s not a bad thing… but it also means the men they see as desirable as fewer. Statics show us that as women approach their husbands in terms of earning power the men become more defensive and women are less attracted to them. Their less likely to choose them and less likely to stay with them. It’s women initiating 70-80% of all divorce. And divorce takes the most from men. Our wife, sex partner, intimacy, companion, children, time, money, freedom… who’s not afraid to lose all that in one go?

Why even try if the odds are stacked against you and the risks are so high? That’s what your fighting against.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Hey I'm 26 and have never been in a relationship either, and your post reminds me of myself. I often feel the same way but try not to think about it. Being in this place at this point in time makes me realise how much I've lost.

Bit of background: Starting from my late teens, I fell in love with a guy. He was a couple of years older and ever since I initiated interest in him, he became interested too. However, since he came from an orthodox family, he didn't want to be in a relationship with me. Since he was interested, I thought it might somehow work out, but nope. I went on dates with other guys a few times just to forget him, but to no avail, the minute I found them catching feelings, I'd feel guilty and leave. I spent days crying over the man I loved, but he didn't care for me. I cried to the point where I was too weak to get up and it was one of those days that I realised this was destroying me, this is when I finally let go. Finally, after 7 years, I myself moved forward in my life without him- for my own sake.

When I finally stepped out of it, I was 24. Dating and meeting people became extremely difficult, especially because I wasn't in university anymore. At this point, the man I loved was getting married to a girl his family arranged his alliance with, but I was single. I realised how stupid I was, I don't regret it as it was what I wanted at the time, but I was stupid to have wasted years over this.

Guys my age were already in committed relationships, online dating was the worst, and I'm still single at 26.

In terms of being approached, it really just happens unexpectedly sometimes. Like a guy comes and approaches you when you're in a library or sometimes establishing a friendship with someone and then expressing your interest. But for this to happen, you'll need to be approachable, smile/be warm with people and go out more. It's much better than online dating and things will start working in your favour :)

BasedBaeBecca · Accepted Answer

It can be frustrating to search for a partner and not find what you are looking for. However, it's important to remember that everyone has different preferences and priorities in relationships. Some people may be looking for casual or non-committal relationships while others may be more focused on finding a long-term partner.

It may be helpful to try new activities or pursue hobbies that you enjoy and meet people through those activities. Additionally, expanding your social network and being open to meeting new people can also improve your chances of meeting someone who shares your values and relationship goals.

Avicenna · Answer

LOL, I am completely willing to commit to any childless 26-year-old woman if we are compatible.

Finchie40 · Answer

Mainly because most men are scared to commit nowadays , mainly because of all the horror stories they hear about on how all Girls’s cheat and can’t be trusted , Social media played a big part on damaging people’s mindsets , and most people devote a lot of their time on social media by filling our heads with garbage , Most girls today think all guy’s cheat as well, so it goes both ways. Most people today have a hard time trusting each other , mainly from all the nonsense they hear about with how relationships failing and people cheating left and right , Once a guy has his heart broken , like myself , it’s harder to trust a girl again. So I no longer jump into relationships with girls’ until I know for sure and feel for sure she is in it for the long haul , sadly most girls I have dated these days were very selfish people that only really cared about themselves, they will tell me they want love and a commitment, etc. And then once I would give that to them and prove to them that I am not a cheater , they get bored and then spread their legs for some other guy , or they were lying
To me that they were single and really they weren’t. So giving my heart fully to a girl takes some time cuz I truly don’t know what her true intentions are , Most people
Say they want love and commitment but once they get it they no longer want it anymore because most people in general are selfish people

RavVid · Answer

It is not actually true that guys don't want girlfriend/relationships. Dating apps are not good places to form relationships which raises the question what are good places? Guys most likely are at stores because they have a girl with baby making them - we just don't shop like girls do. I go to bars still to pick up and you probably don't want to meet me.

A lot of guys have been pysched out from approaching girls due to a natural reluctance to be featured in a tiktok video. So it is hard for both sexes really. Work is difficult because of sexual harassment. Do I like her enough to risk my job is a question we have to ask.

What I can say is I do get vibes from some girls that they are approachable and don't have the cops on speed dial. Other girls do give me vibes that they do have the cops on speed dial. Do you greet, talk and smile at men or are you just waiting to be pursued? It doesn't take much just a Hi and a big smile that implies you are glad to meet him.

Have you given your crush and encouragement? I'd suggest if you don't know if he likes you then you aren't interacting enough. We all need to learn how to chat the opposite sex up and I am thinking you haven't quite got there yet... but you can.

Static_In_The_Attic · Answer

Times as we know it are changing & unfortunately too much change isn’t always a good thing. Men want relationships & real relationships & not the online social media bullshit that people think are relationships nowadays. Men don’t want girlfriends they want wives without the fucking marriage part. Men want a girl that they can take home to mom not take back to the circus where they fit in. Men want girls that aren’t afraid to give out their actual phone numbers instead of some app or Instagram, Facebook fucking bullshit. Men want girls that are the real deal instead of the freak show deal. Men are looking for girls that love Halloween & that don’t dress up or doll themselves up like it’s Halloween year round. What you call nails we call claws. What you call hair we call wigs. What you call eyebrows we call glued on shit. What you call a tan we call something that came from cancer death bed.

Girls be yourselves because real men are out there waiting to sweep you off your feet. Girls don’t be afraid to approach us as well but if you have a penis or once did keep walking.

magiusX26 · Answer

part of the offline part is due yo so many things, such as the louder modern feminists and metoo, making even trying to talk to a woman hazardous with the hazards being things like bring labeled a creep simply by one girl finding that guy unattractive up to (in some places) imprisonment (again, simply because she found him unappealing) . there are also things like some companies (more and more these days) having overly ambiguous rules for sexual harrasment where simply looking at a woman (not even in any sort of sexual way, could be as simple as looking at where you are walking/driving so as not to bump into/have an accident, but if she "feels" like it was sexual in the slightest) he could loose his job.

the online thing, though not solely (possibly not even majority) has some roots with so many women putting themselves out there only for casual sex (things like onlyfans) .

sounds like you may not be one of those tupesof women causing so much of these issues on the women's side of the problems, but there are so many that are that those who are not often are being lost (kind of drowned even) in an ocean of those causing a lot of these problems and there is not real solutions in site for anyone.

Anonymous · Answer

I wish I had more reassuring words for you but I think we’re all experiencing this, man or woman. A lot of men including myself want girflfriends but struggle to get dates, it’s just hard to feel confident in the current dating climate but I digress. I didn’t get any attention from women in my 20s and honestly I barely get it now but it’s slightly more than the attention I received then.

You shouldn’t be looking for a partner just because everyone else is doing it, look for someone that you connect with and share similar values with. I think telling women to wait around is bad advice, real effort is needed if you don’t want to have a series of unsuccessful flings. Approaching women is a very daunting task for most men, we approach mostly out of obligation so a little help from the opposite sex can go a long way. Maybe try seeming more available when you’re out , saying hi to people and making conversation, ask them about their day and then maybe try it on a guy that catches your eye. I’ll also say just don’t talk to people you’re physically attracted to, talk to everyone, this will get you socially lubricated.

Anonymous · Answer

I've just turned 25 and I'm in a similar boat, but half the issue is where guys are in life. I personally want a girlfriend I can commit to, but I'm not good enough for the women whom are into me (financially and where I am in life) so I never approach.

Feminism and me-too have also taught men of my generation (Z) not to approach, so if you like a guy and he's being respectful you'll have to effectively start the convo so he knows it's safe to talk to you [Seriously. We've seen trail-by-social-media and we don't want to put ourselves into the firing line, especially if we want to be respectful].

Shy men will like you. Talk to him. Be around him. He will open up. The biggest issue nowadays is that shy men will not approach for fear of being seen creepy, so approach them. Start ANY conversation and see where it goes.

If he doesn't like you physically yet, work out to Make him like you. You have the power and you Can do it.

DextroShade · Answer

This is a perfect example of the apex fallacy. Most men want relationships with women but they are also invisible to them. You mentioned using dating apps, on these 20% of men get 80% of matches meaning these guys are spoiled for choice and have no incentive to commit. You need to lower your standards and stop expecting Chad and Tyrone to commit to you just because you fucked them when most other girls are doing the same.

The shy guy at your work does like you but he cannot approach you about it because he fears you might consider that sexual harassment, report him to HR, and get him fired. You will have to make the first move on him, and do it fast because you are almost in the danger zone.

tzdc21 · Answer

How about YOU start pursuing guys instead of waiting for them to come to you. Do you know how many guys would kill to have that opportunity? Not a guarantee they'll say yes, but they more than likely will be awestruck at your actions because most girls don't do that... ever.

Kaamraj · Answer

This new dating marketplace has been created by women. In the age of social media and dating apps most women have ab overinflated sense of their own sexual value. Therefore most women are going for the top 10 or 5 % of all men. This has been validated by swiping patterns on dating apps where men find 60% of women as attractive whereas women only find 14% of men attractive.

So most guys are being left out of the game and checking out. Once they get older and more mature and are exposed to what is called RedPill content they can see that relationships aren't worth it.

Couple this with more than 50% divorce rates with women filing more than 70% of them, being awarded custody, alimony and the man's assets, it's simply not worth it to get into a deal with someone incentivised to break it.

GodsPinkyToe · Answer

Because women have done everything imaginable to express their disdain for men while simultaneously becoming the most whorish, unpleasant women in the history of humanity. Women demand perfect guys with tons of money, but offer nothing in return but headaches.

No man with testosterone still flowing in his veins wants an empowered feminist boss babe.

MJtheCoach · Answer

If men openly say they wanna smash and nothing more.. then you're dealing with some really low-value men who will F anything that walks and breathes.

The whole dating scene between men & women is finished.

When we men were young and acted nice we were met with nasty friend zone punishments. So? We learned to grow older & treat women like toilet paper. Which is what they seem to love.

However weak men have destroyed everything. They beg for girls attention thats the issues.

YOu can read more if you'd like?

www.milademjay.com

scooogy · Answer

Same here, just posted about it. I got raged at because I hadn't messaged an online friend (as well as several others) for 2 years, but mind you, it was covid going on. And once I found old friends again, like after up to 21 years, I sorta fear them to not know me anymore. In some cases I remember how I got to know them (especially women) and look back and wonder how things might have developed if I'd have just reached out to them (again). But mind you, I've had college going on until Nov 2020 and then covid job until May 2023. Things can make time pass quickly, and not all lives have turned out well around me.

SL1CK_BL1CK · Answer

I’m 21 and I’m kind of in the same situation but for me it’s like once you’ve touch the stove you don’t wanna get burned again. Other then flings I haven’t been able to settle with a girl since uni, they seem just to want my time and attention on their terms. Right now I’ve kinda just stopped dating and looking at women and I’ll probably do this for at least a while, I feel more joy and peace worrying about myself. Dating modern society is a pretty bad shitshow, and it may sound bad but majority of women on the surface are entitled and trashy. You go on dating apps and they willing to cheat just for attention and I could never take any of them home to meet my parents so I’m just giving up. Not saying u should too, but u might want to think about going to different areas that may help.

sheikalana · Answer

If you're trying to date men within the same age as you it's a bit hard to find someone that wants a serious relationship. Not impossible tho but men in their 20s are living their best lives and most of them are not interested in committing to anyone just yet and I don't blame them.

Anonymous · Answer

You will never find a man who will value anything on a dating app they are the 'Chad's & Tyrones'.

Men have withdrawn from dating because women have told men to 'Go Away' or 'Leave Us Alone', so we've done that, and now those same women are complaining that there are no men to date, why after all should men date when there is nothing there of value, all men have done is performed a risk/benefit analysis and decided that marriage/family life is not for them as they see no benefit in it for them, if anything it puts everything worked long and hard to build in jeopardy.

Anonymous · Answer

If I want a girlfriend, I would have to leave the US. Having a girlfriend is too risky due to the retarded double standards and laws behind male and female interactions.

I absolutely loathe the idea that I could do nothing wrong and still have to pay the same or similar price of someone who actually did do something detestable just because the woman I happen to be paired up with decided to accuse me of it, and any authority that is not an actual court of law will go:

Why don't men want relationships or want girlfriends?

Even if you get taken to court, people will still think you did it and got away with it and you will likely lose your job, home, friends, family etc.

It is not worth it.

SnowedIn · Answer

You answered your own question by proving that your question is false. You say everyone around you is married and having babies and boyfriends.

Therefore men DO want relationships and gfs. You just haven't found the guy for you.

RealMarek · Answer

Guys friend-zoning girls? That’s weird. How about that shy guy you like…maybe he’s the one. Maybe he’s frustrated with the online dating scene too. Why not ask him out and see what happens? Anyway, I know it is frustrating but there are men willing to commit. It might be easier to find them among men around 30, but if you’re not being unreasonably selective there might be some your age too. It takes persistence. Hang in there.

genericname85 · Answer

men want those things generally speaking. and gernerally speaking there is also men that do not want these things for whatever reason. the question you should ask youself is: why do my bethods of meeting men lead me to men that do not want these things instead of to the men that do want those things.

Why don't men want relationships or want girlfriends?

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