No Matter Who it Would Be, An Ex or Even a New Mate, Would you Still Be with Them if They had "Decided to Settle" On You In the End?

Question

**I have Never Had to Deal with It, But this Question just Now, Ran Through my Head... xxoo

Leapfrog00 · Accepted Answer

I was in a similar situation with an ex-girlfriend. She cheated on me, and after she realized what she lost, she wanted me back, and wanted no other man. I realized that the reason I was with her was because I was desperate and would have settled for anything.

I would rather be with someone who I know is right for me, who feels the same things I do, is considerate, caring, always looks out not just for me, but other people, and does kindhearted things not to impress people but because she wants to. I know it sounds like I'm asking a lot, but really, it's not. What I just described is a decent person with good qualities.

I wish I knew why these types of people are so hard to find. Anyone can possess these qualities, it's easy, but very few do.

When I'm dating a girl, I listen to their problems, help them solve those problems, assure them they can talk to me about anything, write them poetry, give them flowers, open the car door for them, cook for them, surprise them with something completely random, and I even show them how much I care about them, but these girls never appreciate it if they want something more. I wish someone could tell me what I'm doing wrong. It has to be something!

humanearth · Accepted Answer

Paris if I was on the Dating Market. You would not want no other man. Because I am the one and only choice

19magic · Accepted Answer

I don't know anymore I have serious doubts in the dating market and really don't think I'll get anywhere so I'll probably will end up settling so long as we can compromise on things and make each others life easier.

KatherineJ · Accepted Answer

Absolutely not! I don’t considered myself a consolation prize.

AviatorTom · Answer

NO, my then-wife was smart enough to not "settle" for me, and we amicably divorced after 20 years of marriage. Turned out to be good for both of us.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I am never going to be with someone who doesn’t want me as their first choice. I want someone who has maximum motivation to make our relationship succeed!

Ricky_D · Answer

Let me put it like this.
My ex came to me but I wouldn’t let her get close to me because she wanted me to hold her.
Long story short! I asked why she even came to see me after the things she did to me, then I told her I wouldn’t piss on her if she was on fire! I told her to leave and haven’t spoke to her for eighteen years other than 2 - 3 minutes maybe and that was a long time ago.

Don’t judge me because you have no clue as to what I went through with this woman.

To be honest, I feel that I don’t need a woman at all! Because they interfere with what is really the most important, God!

AnusNdaPainus · Answer

Nope,

I already know where I’m going and what I’m doing unfortunately a lot of young people don’t plan ahead

this being the case I will accept a settle if it comes before I am off the market

if I was still on it haha

but a big problem with dating is that everyone believes they can have a perfect person

so they pass on a good deal when it comes along take my sister for example in the past 5 years she has had 3 proposals from a Firefighter Lt. and Two separate NFL players

and now in her 30s who does she end up with NO ONE.

nawtee_me · Answer

I never understood the “settling “ thing… why would anyone “settle” for what the don’t want over what they do want? Unless, their standards are set so high that no one could meet them? At that point they are not really settling they are beginning to understand their wants outweigh their needs.

Dysney1023 · Answer

Noooo. Mr. Flakey will never be allowed back. :P I need the unspeakable connection. One that does not include words. Which my ex had a lot of.

DarkLegacy · Answer

No i wouldn't, and i feel very strongly about that, why should i accept being told im second best. They would be likely to cheat on me or leave me for someone else as well. I deserve better than second best

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I don't think I would ever want to be the person someone settles on. I have a lot more to offer than that.

mandyfire98 · Answer

Nah. I'm not that insecure. I'm not someone who is settled for. I've got more self respect than that.

BoopBoopBeep · Answer

I would be honored to meet the man before me from whom I am the downgrade. I bet we'd have a lot in common.

exitseven · Answer

Wow, I don't know. Maybe if I had a good reason to be insecure in the relationship. If she was really hot and had lots of boyfriends and maybe it would make me wonder why she picked me.

Gent207-2 · Answer

Hell No I am no one's Plan B - nor is anyone else mine.

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Lol of course! I don't care if she settles haha. As long as she loves me. I'm not going to marry her if she doesn't love me.

DextroShade · Answer

If she doesn't have genuine desire for me she's not worth my time. She can finesse someone else.

magiusX26 · Answer

nope. that implies am only an option (final option most likely) . if am viewed as an option, miss viewing me at all.

Pterodon · Answer

Probably not. Being a true romantic that believes in true love I want us both to be each others loves of our lives. Is this realistic? I don't know

Likes2drive · Answer

Well, if they settled on me, then there must be a good reason and maybe I have more pros than cons than the other one

Christoff92 · Answer

No. Because I don't like egoism and short term anger issues. That's why would technically leave them. Hope that's the answer you're looking for 😏

Juxtapose · Answer

No, I may be lonely but I have self-respect and I'm not going to be anybody's second choice.

Mark987 · Answer

No! I am no ones second choice. I would rather be someones first

Leon87 · Answer

No never settle at being second best your either a priority or not and you’ll never be their priority

Mallic00 · Answer

Right. I'm gonna be totally proud that I was her back up plan. That's totally something to be proud of.

Cody20 · Answer

No. That’s not a true friend or true relationship.

Philyouup · Answer

how would i know they were just settling for me

DJB72 · Answer

Nope. I know my value.

RHK36 · Answer

Nah, rather stay single

Anonymous · Answer

We all settle.

LemiaOfThunder · Answer

Its hard to say as she ghosted me

LiamJHayden · Answer

In some sense doesn't everyone settle?

Shy_Steve · Answer

It depends how I felt about Her.

FunkyMonkee · Answer

Probably.

XXblack88 · Answer

probably not.

msc545 · Answer

Hell no!

Anonymous · Answer

Nope.

Raghce · Answer

Nope

No Matter Who it Would Be, An Ex or Even a New Mate, Would you Still Be with Them if They had "Decided to Settle" On You In the End?

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No Matter Who it Would Be, An Ex or Even a New Mate, Would you Still Be with Them if They had "Decided to Settle" On You In the End?

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