Boyfriend takes a long time to get over a fight?

[Anonymous]

We had a fight 2 weeks ago. I tried to fix it and solve the fight since then but he said I made it worse by talking about it so much and doing wrong stuff to fix it. He’s going away to work abroad for 3 weeks tomorrow and I begged him not to go like this with him angry still and I asked him can we just make up and forget it.

He said it’s too late that I ruined it and he wants to not talk or text the 3 weeks he’s gone to help him get over being angry. I don’t know how I’m going to deal with no contact for 3 weeks we’ve never done that before. He said it’s my fault we have to do that. What do I do? I’m so anxious

[HollyK21]

I would end it. He doesn’t get to just checkout from his relationship for 3 more weeks after 2 have already passed. That’s no problem solving, it’s just flat out hateful and immature. If he’s saying things are ruined then fine, end the relationship with him now rather than overwhelm yourself with grief and guilt until he gets back only to potentially get broken up with anyway. What he’s trying to do is punish you, and only a complete jackass of a man would wanna do that. I understand you love him, but you need to love yourself more, not beg and plead as if he’s some prize and you’re so lucky to have him. No, he’s lucky too, and I think you forget your worth when you’re doing things like this. If you don’t value yourself then no one else will, he will see you as desperate and pathetic when that is so far from the case. He doesn’t deserve the satisfaction of having you grovel at his feet.

[MzAsh]

You seem anxiously attached, and it’s putting him at the advantage and you at the disadvantage. If I were I’d take a step back and give him exactly what he asked for and then some. You’ve already done way too much work to fix whatever the fight was originally about. Take a breather and enjoy your blogs. Let him come to you.

[MzAsh]

* enjoy your life, not blogs 😆

[Asker]

I wish I could do that but having a fight last 5 weeks with a person I love is extremely stressful and it’s making me miserable, I can’t enjoy anything because it’s constantly at the back of my mind. I even think 1 week for a fight to last is long so imagine how I feel after 2 or 5 weeks. It honestly feels like torture.,

[boggboss]

U are making it so easy to manipulate you why would he act differently when it's so clear he dont need u as much as u need him

[Asker]

Why do you say that

[boggboss]

He has told u u will not speak for 3 weeks he seems clearly fine with it and u are panicking over it no guy would make a request like that if he knew his girl respected herself because most women would end a relationship if a guy was being toxic in that way he treats u the way he does because he knows u will accept it

[Asker]

It’s not so easy as just ending it like that we’ve been together over 4 years and we have a house together. I don’t think the fight is worth losing all I’ve invested. I’m just looking for advice on how to make him see sense

[boggboss]

Its been 4 years and he still treats u like your disposable like I said he knows u are not willing to check out over how he treats u so their is no reason for hum to change

[boggboss]

Like even saying u been together 4 years if this is what your relationship is he already knows u have put up with it for 4 years clearly u won't have a issue with it now

[Asker]

This is like only the second time we’ve had a big fast last this long so it’s not like this is the way it always. We’re normally a good couple and get on good and treats me really well then

[boggboss]

He treats u well normally but thinks its fine to tell you that he will not speak to you for 3 weeks because u tried to fix a issues u had due to arguing sure thing

[boggboss]

At this point what are u even looking for if u think its your own fault then why are u here asking for advice

[kylee2437]

Break up with him. 3 weeks is way too long to prolong an argument because 1 of the 2 people in the relationship is too immature to sit down like an adult and talk it over. You are dating a man child

[Asker]

Well we tried to talk about it but he said I prolonged it by not giving him space. To be fair I didn’t give him much space I just like to solve things. No matter how much I apologised it didn’t help so it’s not like we haven’t spoke about it he just stayed mad.

[kylee2437]

@asker three weeks sounds like long enough space to me, and too long at that. Him throwing that around to make you seem like the problem is a problem. He had the choice to stop replying right? He had the chance to take a step back and text you back on his own time right? 3 weeks is way too long to be holding resentment against someone you are in a relationship with.

[Asker]

I think I did make it worse a bit because I was anxious and I wanted to fix it asap. I hate leaving things. So I think I made him more angry. Well it’s already been 2 weeks of distance and now adding on another 3 is 5 weeks of distance. We haven’t even kissed or cuddled or anything and we live together. I don’t want to break up because we have a house together, we’ve built a life together

[kylee2437]

Wanting to fix things is NORMAL. A person prolonging an argument because they are a man child and don’t know how to implement healthy boundaries meanwhile also taking their partners feeling into consideration is not healthy.

[Asker]

Is there anything I should say to him before he leaves on Friday to like make him see sense? I’ve already asked him can we please just make it before he leaves because I hate the thought of leaving on bad feelings. He said it’s not just easy to stop being angry like that.

[kylee2437]

Tell him you no longer want this toxicity of a relationship. Normal people aren’t angry for 3 weeks straight

[Asker]

I did say it’s not healthy to be angry for so long. He said it’s because of me like I made it worse and prolonged it and yeah pretty much my fault. It would be so hard to just leave because I’d have nowhere to go if I do.

[kylee2437]

It’s not because of you, it’s because he’s a man child and was never taught how to solve issues in his life

[Sour-rose]

Fuk him. Mofo is ridiculous. 3 weeks? 3 weeks, one of you could be in a fatal situation or dead. If he wants to stay mad for 3 weeks and refuse contact, i suggest not wasting all that time on him.

[Provingdatruth]

Depends on what you said to him.