My boyfriend tell me he doesn’t send me dirty texts because he respects me too much. Isn’t this weird?

[Washington12]

I don’t understand this at all.

[provokeesmokee]

Yeah, fucking weird.

It's one thing to be, like, wary of it because of proper reasons (depending on what kinda dirty texting you like, maybe he's not comfy with writing that out).

But "I respect you too much"? Nah, man. Respectful would be understanding what your partner wants and needs and communicating with them properly.

If I got that from a man, it's a red flag. His "respect" is not what I consider respectful. I'd dump that. I don't need a man who thinks like that.

[historectomy]

red flag to not want to dirty text?

[Washington12]

@historectomy yes it makes us feel like we’re not desired

[historectomy]

he is still wanting sex just dirty text prolly not his thing

[historectomy]

i wouldn't feel less desired it prolly just makes him uncomfy

[Washington12]

@historectomy yeah he’s told me that it does make him feel uncomfortable. It’s just very unusual for a guy to be this way. And I’ve expressed that I would love that for a while now and still nothing.

[historectomy]

@Washington12 i wouldn't pressure the guy if it makes him uncomfy it makes him uncomfy respect boundaries

[ProbablyClueless]

I find the respect part of it odd. Why does not sending you dirty texts equal respecting you, in his mind? Have you told him that you weren't down with sexual texts at any point?

I was once talking to a girl who was very romantically interested in me. She liked me and our vibe a lot. We had a lot of fun together. She found me attractive. She was talking about having kids together. She very much saw me as a prospective husband. She was absolutely not comfortable with sexy texts.

I sent her some TAME stuff too; it was around Christmas time. It was some comment to the effect of "if there's any chance you've been naughty this year I'm going to spank you, just to be safe."

She immediately shut that shit down and made it clear that she was not comfortable with me flirting that way over text.

[Washington12]

Never told him they make me uncomfortable, just have told him I would like it. He’s like that about sex too.. the other day he told me he wants to see my face and make love to me. Just very respectful. That’s really nice.. but sometimes I wish he could act like he wants me a little more

[ProbablyClueless]

Sounds like y'all just aren't compatible. Have you specifically told him that doing naughtier stuff would make you feel more wanted?

[hahahmm]

The holy grail for women is finding a guy who takes them seriously. You found it -- but, you probably suspect that he's just a fool because you KNOW you don't deserve to be treated better than every random guy you ever knew treated you. So you're in a pickle. This doesn't feel 'right' to you. I knew a woman like you: fine as hell but always bouncing from relationship to relationship with one bad (often violent) boyfriend after another. The few times she tried a quality guy who respected her she found excuses to bail quick. She's still bouncing around in her late 40s now. Lives with her grandparents cause she put all of her time into having fun instead of building a life.

[Washington12]

It’s great to be respected but obviously girls can be dirty minded too and want someone they can express that to. It’s unusual being the girl in the relationship wanting that and not getting it from the guy

[Alli39]

I mean he could just be covering for feeling awkward, not enjoying sexting, etc.

But he might also legitimately be trying to respect you in his own way. He might have had relationships in the past where he did send those kinds of messages and didn't feel like he was being respectful or something and is just pulling that association into your relationship. So it's a little odd, but it's not necessarily a bad thing unless it really bothers you or is mixed in with other red flags.

[madhatters4]

not especially. some are raised that respect for a person applies to how you talk to them even if it is someone who you have an intimate relationship with. so he could feel like dirty talk disrespects you as a person and perhaps is seen more as objectification or something

[Lionman95]

It´s weird if he tells you that off topic but generally speaking it just means that he wants to show you that he appreciates you and thinks of you as a person with a character and isn´t interested just in sexual activities.

[DannyUk2017]

Damn! You'r boyfriend seems like he wants to be dirty in face 2 face... And when i was thinking that women are scared of me couse i'm TOO dirty minded...🤣🤣🤣

[Washington12]

He’s watching porn but not texting me.. I asked him why and he just says he respects me too much. I’m so confused by that. Never been with a guy who doesn’t send dirty texts of nothing.

[DannyUk2017]

Or maybe he is "afraid" that the "ousiders" are watching his phone/texts...🤷‍♂️, i mean Whatsapp is now taken by Meta which is owned by Zuckherberg

[Washington12]

Yeah he doesn’t want pics because of that, which I get that. But dirts texts, at least? I mean I get nothing

[DannyUk2017]

Is he in the same city with you? Or he works somewhere else?
Have you thought maybe he might have someone "else" aside and "she" can see his phone at any given moment? 🤔, and he tries to mask all that out? 🤷‍♂️, just saying

[Washington12]

Yeah, he’s 7min away. Nooo I know he’s loyal.

[DannyUk2017]

Oh, ok! Fair enough! Well then he might be scared of all this "listening crap" from all gov's departments, etc... he must be pretty slim in text, e-mails, etc...

[papiC21]

well I can tell you it isn't because he "respects you too much". lol He either just doesn't have shit to say or doesn't want to put in the effort to

[Ben487]

Its more likely he just doesn't want dirty pics of himself floating around. I wouldn't send that shit to anyone who was in my circle of people either.

[Washington12]

I get that. But he doesn’t even want to send me dirty texts. I just think that’s really weird for a guy. He tells me I seem innocent and he respects me too much. It’s just kinda weird

[Anonymous]

'... He’s watching porn..'

After reading that comment, the rest makes complete sense. Porn corrupts on many levels and is demonic. Don't expect any of his other behavior to make any sense.

[jahaims]

First guy not just trying to use you and it confuses you

[Anonymous]

He thinks you get offended my those.. let him know that you would love them!

[Anonymous]

It's only weird to you if you have little class.

[historectomy]

as long as you have sex do you need dirty text?

[Washington12]

We only see each other on the weekends

[historectomy]

well you better make up for it on the weekends lol

[exitseven]

no, his parents raised him right.

[Anonymous]

aww to bad you cheap whore

[skyla_is_learning]

not weird