My boyfriend doesn't compliment me physically, should I be worried?

[Anonymous]

I want to know what people think. I'm not a person who fishes for compliments. In fact my ideal guy would want to compliment my looks on his own. I am attractive, I've been told by others, I'm not just some stuck up. But how important is it to a relationship that a guy finds the girl to be attractive? My boyfriend has never complimented me physically so I can't help but feel like he may not find me that attractive. Yes I know there are many levels of attractiveness and yes I know this is not an ideal world. I guess I just don't know if I'm being unreasonable or not. In my case we have been dating for about 6 months and when that 6 month mark hits you have to wonder some things... That I know is a stupid girl thing but I can't help it! :) And if he didn't do it the past six months then now I know that he never will. And I'm not saying that I'm going to end the relationship or anything but I'm wondering just how important it is to everybody else.. It mostly bothers me because I know I'm not his type of girl, physically.

[Anonymous]

I'm in this same boat right now...
In fact, when going out in a group all of his friends will be loud complimenting me (in excess actually) and he will just sit there... Which is probably why his friends do it in the first place. This was before we started dating and it hasn't changed much... He complimented me once out of the blue about how smart I'm and he was red like a beet...

Maybe he's just shy or maybe he thinks that since everyone else is already complementing you, that it's a given and he doesn't need to overdo it? Because most guys don't even consider dating a girl they aren't attracted to physically.
And usually most girls wouldn't consider dating a guy who doesn't compliment them =(
I hope things got better between you two.

[Belgie]

The only way he'll change that particular behaviour, is if you let him know that you NEED the occasional compliment. That he must be spontaneous about them. Not constantly, as you said. But that they should come about with some frequency.

And when I say let him know, I don't mean some "subtle hint". I mean that you need to tell him. With words. In plain English. No hints. No clues. No subtleties.

Complimenting your partner is often subject to learned behaviour. If he never saw his father compliment his mother on a regular basis, for example, it simply wouldn't ever occur to him that he should compliment you as a matter of course.

It doesn't necessarily mean anything about the relationship.

[Asker]

I see what you're saying. Do you ever think that if you found someone to be attractive to you that you would want to make them feel that way. I know that I can say I like to be complimented once in a while and he'd do it but I don't know, it seems meaningless or forced that way. I guess... Do you think the same thing, a guy could just be not say anything even though he thinks his girlfriend is attractive?

[Belgie]

"Do you think a guy could just be not say anything even though he thinks his girlfriend is attractive?"

Yes, absolutely. It's learned behaviour.

[Anonymous]

he's selfish

[RideOrDie96]

Good for you