Not a whole lot of guys approach me in public but when they do, it’s always with a friendly gesture. What does that mean?

[thatshydork]

Just FYI - by ‘friendly gesture’ I mean like a high five/sometimes even a hug if I know them or just a friendly little hello (and for the hello part I know they’re just being friendly)

Ok so don’t get me wrong, I do get my fair share of people approaching me online especially on apps like Tinder or bumble, but when it comes to in person, not so much. What does that mean? Are guys intimidated by me/my height (I stand at 5 foot 10 inches and I’ve been told by a guy that I used to be friends with while we were friends that I intimidate quite a few guys and he knew some guys that had crushes on me but were too afraid to ask me out)? Do they assume I have a boyfriend?

[Deformate]

A boyfriend? Nah, thats probably something they already asked about you. Can't say why they might be intimidated. Are you strong willed? Very confident and forward? Speak your mind regardless of consequence? I'd guess not, judging by your username but this is context I dont know about you on a personal level so I can't make that assumption. Your height is a possibility though but I'd say that not everyone is intimidated by tall women. Some even desire them, despite not being given a chance by them.

[thatshydork]

Despite being shy, I’m generally pretty self confident and don’t care much for what others think of me if they’re not important in my life. As for speaking my mind and being forewarn, not so much.

[thatshydork]

But most guys don’t ask me if I have a boyfriend (in fact I don’t recall ever being asked if I had one but I could’ve just missed it entirely as I’m pretty blind to when guys flirt with me)

[Deformate]

Lol guys would ask your friends, not you. We prefer to be indierct about that. Minimize rejection.

[thatshydork]

Hm I never thought of that. However if they have asked my friends in the past, I’ve only ever heard it one time from one of my high school guy friends

[Lionman95]

It could be that guys are assuming you have a boyfriend. But generally speaking I think that most guys have stopped approaching women they don´t know in real life since it´s not easy with everyone seeming to be busy and many guys have no real approaching strategy so it switched into online dating.

[AngryCarl2]

I don't fully know what the culture is in the US but in the UK it means you are accepted into the group which is normally restricted to males, i. e. the brotherhood. This may also mean that you're off limits in terms of dating because that would cause tension within the group.

[TheSpaceGnome]

Defnitely different in the US, I ONLY date women who are fitting into in the friend group/acts like one of the guys. This is a common thing here.

[TheSpaceGnome]

definitely*

[AngryCarl2]

@TheSpaceGnome It is? How does that work out?

[TheSpaceGnome]

It varies.

Being friends first is just a less risky form of dating, and just like dating, it can work out, or not work out. The only difference is that you get to know if it will or won't work out before you get to the dating part, so you save yourself the headache if they turn out to be a bad match.

[BigDog1989]

What do you mean "friendly" manner?

Isn't that what you want?

[thatshydork]

Yeah but I also want to be seen as girlfriend material, like dateable I guess?

[BigDog1989]

So, someone needs to find you attractive, which isn't "friendly", right?

[thatshydork]

No no that’s not what I mean, sorry if it came off that way. I’m just blind when it comes to guys showing interest in me. The guys I know in real life though tend to greet me as a friend greets another friend.

[BigDog1989]

How does a "friend" greet a "friend" in your view

[thatshydork]

Like with high fives or hugs

[BigDog1989]

I don't hug my friends. Why should i?

[thatshydork]

I’m not saying that you should, that’s just how I greet some of my guy friends cause they like hugs (the one guy I hug is gay and has had boyfriends in the past). As for the high fives that’s how some of the guys at the summer camp I work at greet me.

[BigDog1989]

Then he's not really a guy, since he's gay. He's just another girl friend

[thatshydork]

No and the fact that you say that tells me a lot of unfortunate things about you. Just because he’s into guys doesn’t make him any less of a man and it’s sad that you think it does it makes me feel sad for you that you think that way.

[BigDog1989]

He's gay. He's just another girl friend for you. GET OVER IT

[thatshydork]

Wow someone’s mad about something that’s got absolutely nothing to do with them.

Don’t fucking tell me how I look at my friends because unlike you, I view all my friends equally for who they actually are. I look at them no different if they’re gay, heterosexual, cisgender, or transgender. It’s sad that you can’t see it that way because you’re missing out on some outright amazing and outstanding people.

Also - no the fuck he’s not. He’s a guy friend cause he’s a guy. He’s the sweetest fucking guy I’ve ever met. Him being gay doesn’t mean I look at him as a girl friend so you can go ahead and quit with that already.

[dolemite58]

they probably think they’re gunna get snow down if they’re not tall

[thatshydork]

What do you mean by ‘snow down’?

[dolemite58]

*shot down, typo my bad 😂

[thatshydork]

Oh ok I was confused for a second there😂

[dolemite58]

on the topic tho, im 5’10 too and if u were my height id assume u want a taller guy but it wouldn’t discourage me from dating u if u didn’t care about it.

[thatshydork]

I mean considering I once had a crush on someone who was 5’2”, I’d say I don’t care that much about height🤷🏻‍♀️

[dolemite58]

ur one of the good ones then 😅

[TheSpaceGnome]

If you like a guy, just ask him out, stop overthinking stuff.