Why do guys stare at me but rarely approach me?

Question

The last couple of months I've really paid attention to what I look like (outfit, make up, hair, keeping it natural though) and I've noticed that a lot of guys notice and stare at me in public - to the point where it kinda makes me feel uncomfortable. However I feel like guys avoid me for the most part when it comes to interacting with me, leaving me puzzled since I don't understand why. I am definitely not the vein, conceited type of girl, in fact I'm shy and blush pretty much all the time LOL and perhaps I get a little insecure too.
I mean sure there are guys who do approach me but again, I feel like this is really the exception compared to the number of guys who stare at me.
So guys share with me your personal experience, do you approach girls you like or am I overthinking all of this?
I really hope I don't come off stuck up or something it's just that this has been bothering me a lot and it makes me insecure as well :/

Gustafsone12584 · Accepted Answer

I think the whole approach aspect can become a disaster. When I see a beatiful woman, it's like seeing a flower on the side of the road, or when we see some beautiufl artwork, it's something to stare at. It's nothing to be scared, or feel uncomfortable about.

Now, to an extent, those guys that do stare, don't know how to do it. Some guys stare like, there looking at there last meal. I think it's wrong. If I stare, it's not too long, because it does get creepy. Woman I notice, when they stare, it's for like seconds at a time. Some guys need to know what's a good time to look, and then look away.

Of course, to answer some of your questions of why they don't interact with you, and approach you, is because that usually never works too well.

It has to be genuine first off. I wouldn't go up to a guy, or a woman and start talking. It needs to be a time, and a place to do so. That's why most approaches don't work, if your trying to force it.

Sometimes talking to very attractive people can become difficult if your not confident enough as well. If someone doesn't know what to say, and how to say it, then things come off as wired, and then can come across as creepy too. That's why I said, most of the time, it's got to be genuine when talking to anyone to that matter.

Hope some of what I said, has some insight :)

JSmuve · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't approach an attractive girl unless I have a reason to.

You walk up to her and then what? What do I say? "Hi"? Ok, then what? "Uh, you look...uh, you look real purdy...ummmm...I gotta go BYE!" And then I run off knocking people over in the process. Ya know? There's just no common ground there.

And after lectures girls are just worried about getting to their next class, not talking to some random guy who they may think is a total jackass for approaching them. And that's another thing, no guy knows beforehand if a girl will be receptive to his approach and most guys won't risk whatever sense of self-esteem they have on approaching an attractive girl only to be embarrassed in public no less. That's the last thing any guy wants.

And what if the girl thinks you're creepy for approaching her. There's a lot of girls who are hyper-sensitive to the whole 'stranger danger' thing so unjustifiably being labelled a creep is a real possibility and no guy wants that.

Then there's the common fallacy that since she's attractive she probably has a whole bunch of better-looking, funnier, stronger, guys to choose from then me. So approaching would be a lost cause.

So ya, there's a whole lot of perceived barriers working against guys, and by extension you, that need to be overcome.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Why do men stare at you? I don't know :\ could be good or bad depending on the men and their tastes in women.
Is shyness a deterrent? For some people sure but for others it's endearing. I think shy people are cute like puppies so it makes me want to talk to them more and I don't think I've ever mistaken shyness for conceit.
Do you smile back at the guys you want to approach you?

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

I get the exact same thing. But with me I get mistaken for being really young. A lot of people think im 15-18 so I get dead young guys barking and whistling at me getting in my way coming into my work place it's annoying as hell because all the guys my age think I'm really young or probably just don't find me attractive

aaaae2e · Accepted Answer

if a guy stares at you and looks happy or smiles at you he likes you. if he doesn’t smile then he probably finds something weird about you. guys judge girls too they see like to see things that they like...

emmabee11 · Accepted Answer

Well if it's inside class thn i doubt they are going to be flirting in class... lol they will probs get thrown out if they do.

imaguytoo · Answer

The fact that you are getting looks from several guys should be enough to ease your insecurity. You must be quite attractive. Don't be hard on yourself if a guy does not approach you. Often times it is because they are not single, are burned out from their last relationship, or are simply intimidated by you. If you see a guy repeatedly looking at you and he doesn't ever make a move then you should be the one to be bold and make the first move. Otherwise, it could be a missed opportunity.

MrKinddaNiceGuy · Answer

Honestly beautiful women tend to reject men who admire her, for her own reasons.
Us men are as vulnerable and susceptible to rejection that we anticipate that a beautiful woman will say no to us we prefer not to try to avoid rejection and embarrassment.
That's just the generality of the case.

gr8guy4u2no · Answer

If you are a guy, and you stare at all woman. You have a problem. If you only stare at beautiful or well dressed woman than please don't stare to scare her away. If you want to talk to her. Say "Hi, Have I seen you before", most likely she will say, I don't think so. At least you took your shot. Now, excuse your self for staring and move on with a "Thank You". If she likes you, she will find a way to see you again.

If you are a woman, and guys stare at you. Most likely you are a very beautiful woman. As its a blessing, it is also a curse. Wear a covering of an ugly attitude, believe me, it works like a replant for most of us guys. No amount of beauty will give us the will power to deal with a woman's ugly attitude. Good Luck

Doffymingo · Answer

If they're guys you just saw and they look at you, they're probably seeing what they like and don't like.

If you see a guy at like a coffee shop, bus stop w/e and you catch him staring at you all the time almost, he's probably interested.

Probably trying to suss out if you're single or how to talk.

Try starting a conversation with one and you'll see their reactions so you have an idea of whether or not they find you attractive

Shyguy_1988 · Answer

If I see a random girl I find really attractive but I never met before, I will not approach. That is difficult for me, I'm too shy and reserved for that kind of approach. I normally won't stare for extended periods of time because that will make anyone uncomfortable, normally I just give glaces, multiple times but nothing longer than 3 seconds. I'm sure there are a lot of guys like that, plus guys aren't going to approach every girl they find attractive obviously, some just enjoy the view.

bDizzie · Answer

It's called approach anxiety, guys are afraid to approach attractive women. If you smile and/or make eye contact, you might get more guys coming up to you.

ironeddie · Answer

Well, I could see a girl walking down the street that I think is a knock out. Of course I will look at her, but not stare.

But I sure as heck wouldn't just approach a stranger and start a conversation.

Anonymous1971 · Answer

The guys who stare have no confidence the guys who approach do.

rogue_alpha · Answer

Maybe there's something about you holding them back. For example I might check out a girl I think is pretty, but if she looks too materialistic or is carrying a large purse, wears lots of jewelry, etc I wouldn't be interested.

MCheetah · Answer

They probably think you would consider them under your league and wouldn't give them the time of day, so they figure "why bother?"

willofjuly · Answer

Actually am one of those guys that look at girls and don't approach sometimes.. Because every time I ask a girl if thier single, they say thier taken.. so I kinda get tired of asking and getting the same response

Anonymous · Answer

They could be taken or assume that you are. In my experience it's the former esp at school if a guy is staring but never makes a move

Keyspirits · Answer

Ur beauty is too intimidating for us to approach so we back off. Ur outta our league :/

Why do guys stare at me but rarely approach me?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do guys stare at me but rarely approach me?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.