Better question is, why do you not make the first move? You're a woman. Which means you're naturally better at conversations. Plus, doing so will strongly grab his attention more thoroughly.
But we men are not so great at approaching because we normally never see signs we recognize as interest. You may smile or some other gesture, but we always perceive it as just common courtesy. It never appears as indication of "Hey, Come talk to me".
A better technique would be to use your hand in that "come here" gesture. There's no way possible we can misunderstand that. And seriously; that would really give us a boost in confidence to talk to you.23 Reply
Asker+1 yYea I know I have made the first move before, this is just question I want to ask and get the understanding of why.
Asker+1 yIt's okay if it's hard to explain, but anyways thank you for your opinion!
Most Helpful Opinions
Guys do it all the time. They shoulder 99% of the rejection. Some to the point of being destroyed by it. Or they need time to rebuild the damaged self-esteem, which you never get damaged by never approaching and never being rejected (or supposing you did, you get tons of propositions to get self-esteem back up in no time).
... but you still have to complain about them not rushing headlong into a possible wall? Please google E-M-P-A-T-H-Y.13 Reply
Asker+1 yWait are you saying I'm complaining about guys not approaching me? , I just wanted to understand how guys feel about approaching girls and it's the only reason why I asked this question.
Asker+1 yooh I see I guess I should've put it into a different way. I wasn't trying to complain and I didn't realize it would sound like I was complaining , sorry for that.
sometimes stares can be misinterpreted for insults rather than a crush sign. Most people stare at you while speaking to themselves inside their head about how you dress, how you look, or even ask themselves questions such as "should I talk to this girl". It's basically a mind situation.
21 Reply
Most don't, even if you are attractive a lot of them may either not want a relationship or may be afraid of rejection. Dont take it personally, there's no way you can make them do it.
21 Reply
Asker+1 yYea Ik, there isn't nothing for me to worry about anyway. I'm just curious that's all.
What Girls & Guys Said
Opinion
83Opinion
+1 yThey assume you're either taken, uninterested, or unobtainable.
40 Reply2.4K opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. These probably don't all apply to you but here are some common explanations
1) you're always busy doing something
2) you've always got your ear buds on
3) you're buried in your phone
4) you don't make eye contact
5) you don't smile
6) you have closed off body language
7) you're always moving
8) you're always in a group
9) you're talking to other guys
10) you're too attractive
11) you're not attractive enough
12) you look like you'd be a bitch
13) guys have had bad experiences with girls and fear they'd be rejected because they're not good enough or because you're taken
14) you're never alone long enough for them to approach
15) guys think you don't want to be approached because you get so much male attention already that they'd just annoy you
16) they think their approach won't be good enough for you
17) they have no reason to approach you that won't come off as painfully obvious10 Reply
+1 yWell it's hard to say for sure, but usually when I see a girl that I find attractive, I hesitate with whether to approach or just pass on. I figure if she liked me she would smile at me, or acknowledge my presence in some way. If it is just random eye contact, and we linger, then how can I know to make a move, without some sort of sign
20 ReplyYou must be or the most beautiful woman ever or awful af, if you are the first one… well you intimidate most of us badly enough not to even dare to approach you
17 Reply
Asker+1 ydo you want to describe my personality and looks from what others say to me?
- +1 y
No, why would I care about others opinion? What it matters is what I think, I think you must guess yourself good enough to say honestly if you have a bad or a good personality…, want me to say it with other words? Tell me three good reasons (not related to how you look like) why someone should get to know you…
Asker+1 yI am a very chill person and it's hard for me to get angry at someone, I care about my friends and family and I love to bake which is something that makes me happy and passionate about.
Asker+1 yThank you, you too! by the way Thank you for your opinion :)
😂😂... This is very surprising for me to read this... Usually guys do approach girls
But if they are not then maybe you should.. it's nothing wrong in that15 Reply
Asker+1 yYea it is and usually guys would but I guess it depends how the girl is like. I've approach guys before and everything went fine.
Asker+1 yI usually think of myself as scary but a lot of people disagree on that lol.
Asker+1 yI can give you my ig instead it's victruong12345, you can have a look at my profile. tbh I look like a egg lol
+1 yWell, it's one of two things: Either you're really pretty and they assume you already have a boyfriend so there's no point in getting rejected, or they don't think you're pretty at all and are just looking in like morbid fascination. The former is more likely I suppose.
20 ReplyProbably because you don't look very inviting. Give a smile. Guys generally don't want to get torn up for going up to a girl.
32 Reply
Asker+1 yI do give a smile and they would ether hide their faces or smile back.
May be u smile less and reserved ,
May be u appear as a strict teacher , try some new wardrobe set , throw some random smile truning back at some random guy. May be than can help to change ur image have fun :)10 Reply
Anonymous(30-35)+1 yYou know why it happens? Because we have no excuse to talk to you, to start a conversation. Even if I liked you, it's stupid to come in front of you and say "Hi, you look nice."
I realized, that it's really tough to start a convo with a random girl because you don't have a valid excuse.
Asking for a direction is one thing, but it's so damn cliche.30 Replyi also sometimes stare at girls and exchange smiles and stuff like that. i like never approach the girl unless i see something where i can talk about, otherwise those conversations would be awkward as fuck.
10 Reply
+1 yA lot of guys nowadays just don't know what to do or say any more. The 3rd wave feminism and the Metoo movement shared a lot of experiences. Some men are more hesitant now because they don't want to overstep.
232 Reply- +1 y
Hiding behind feminism as an excuse for you being a coward and not having the balls to approach a woman is silly and overused "nowadays".
- +1 y
@BadAssHunter Don't you realize how much backlash men have had for just expressing attraction to women? Apparently if you look too much at a woman it's frowned upon. You don't have any idea how toxic society has been.
- +1 y
Maybe you're the toxic one. There's a civilized respectful way and an uncivilized disrespectful way. The only thing you'd get backlash for is looking at a woman inappropriately to a woman who respects herself stop making excuses for you ridiculous behaviour.
- +1 y
People like you have made the relationship between male and female toxic with your mindset and how you think of each other. Any backlash you get is your own fault unless it's something petty a crazy feminist is screaming about.
- +1 y
The problem is women are making all the rules and men are being told to shut up and shit down. They're trying to repress our sexuality. It's a fucking problem. I don't ever see a man complaining about a woman staring because she finds him attractive and woman do it all the time too.
- +1 y
I didn't know feminism runs your life. If you're that weak that you can't think for yourself then I don't know why you're even talking.
Nobody is trying to repress men. Maybe you should stop being a pervert and looking at women as something to bang and you wouldn't have this problem. Last I checked, men run the world and that's never going to change so stop with your excuses and whining as of life is so hard for you to grow a pair and be a man. - +1 y
Self centered? That makes absolutely no sense. I live in a world run by men. Men create the negative culture and this is the outcome. Men aren't effected by it unless they're only attracted to crazy feminist. Stop chasing feminist and you won't have to deal with this.
- +1 y
Sure they do and it's men who give it to them because they worship them. Women don't run anything but their mouths.
- +1 y
Your mom is because she invented a problem... YOU! LOL
- +1 y
Like your argument? I wasn't even responding to you. Run along child. I don't wanna hear your excuses for refusing your manhood.
- +1 y
I agree with you. Groups like mgtow and incel are just blaming women for their shortcomings. And if a woman says that approaching her and trying to have a conversation is misogyny. She's not the type of person I'd want to date or even converse with.
- +1 y
@KevinSmiley13 Thank you!
- +1 y
- +1 y
Yes exactly, the dating landscape has changed, approaching a stanger is something that is not the same as it was. They can blame men all they want, but it would be more productive to discuss the details of what/how without assuming we don't know the difference between catcalling and approaching someone at the bar. We want to talk about the nuance about approaching someone at the bar, we know catcalling is not how to do it.
- +1 y
"Mansplaining" isn't a real word and does not exist. Maybe you should stop assuming things about women. @jessture
@Caaarl Yeah because women are to blame for everything wrong with modern day dating. You say women are the reason you can't be a man but you're not using that as an excuse... Wow. Just wow.
- +1 y
"Exactly" "Exactly" lol "we're so smart and know it all yet we can't approach women because feminism" Yeah, feminism runs the world in sure lol Excuses, excuses. Then you wanna say "they can blame men" yet you're the only one here blaming women as a whole.
- +1 y
@jessture you wouldn't know what trolling is if your mom did it.
You how's into MY conversation. I was never conversing with you from the start. Go dick ride on your own post. - +1 y
You came*
- +1 y
Yet you're here talking to me? What are you doing? You people call any kind of argument "trolling" because you can't handle it. Foh.
- +1 y
You act like you wanna have a civil conversation yet you guys are the ones name calling.
I think it's time for men like you to date men since all women are feminist. - +1 y
Your first comment, "Isn't it hillarious when women try to mansplain something they will never experience?" Yeah, you were trying to further it alright. You came here insulting and bitching about women because obviously you can't get one and I don't blame them. I wouldn't touch you if you were the last male on earth because you're a whiney little bitch.
- +1 y
Keep repeating yourself and responding to my "trolling". You don't take me seriously yet here you are, still engaging in conversation with me lol
+1 yWell we can't really tell you if you don't post a picture. Maybe it's that third eye in your forehead or maybe you have one of those "outtie" belly buttons... Ewwww..
12 Reply
Asker+1 yDo you have Instagram? You can have a look at my profile it's victruong12345
- +1 y
Sorry I don't do Instagram, just gag.
+1 yI can't. I am way too shy to approach a girl directly in real life until I get home and text her on the phone saying I am having a crush on you blah blah blah, and I think I might blow that chance anyway.
10 Reply
+1 yIt's just how people are now a days. Nobody wants to bother anyone out of respect. Also nobody wants to make a move on someone in a relationship. Id say that's probably the biggest thing
30 Reply
+1 yIn complete honesty. you're either too attractive for your own good. Or you're not attractive at all. Depends on circumstance. Those that are incredibly attractive tend to be more out of reach.
20 ReplyThey are shy or they could not even be shy. They might just not know what to talk about, so they just stare instead.
20 Reply
+1 yAfter a while men get fed up with being turned down by women. Women do a lot of damage from this behavior and yet they come here asking, "Why" lol
20 Reply
+1 yBecause we are trying to gauge your thoughts and reading your body language.
We guys tend to have a 30/70 pass/fail ratio when approaching someone.
We try to figure out what to say without seeming like a complete wacko/wierdo.10 Reply
+1 yyou might be too pretty and/or look classy as well guys approach sluts faster than anything else.
30 Reply663 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Can’t say until I’ve seen u. U could be stunning or have 3 ears. Both would cause people to stare!
42 Reply
Asker+1 ya lot of people say I'm cute, has a innocent looking face, pretty, attractive etc which is something I don't agree with and that's all I can say from what people said to me. does that help lol?
Because they don't know if you are open to approach show a bit of interest stare back or go talk to them yourself. In this world as a men you are easily labelt perv or creep. If you don't show you might be interested why would he approach
20 ReplyI think some guys are now afraid of approaching girls because the sexual harassment bs.
20 ReplyFear of rejection... maybe you soo hot for them so they think they even have chance and that you are "out of their league" if you know what i mean..
10 ReplyFor guys it is approach anxiety. We think too much about what you think. If it is not naturaly easy to approach then he isn't as advanced in social dynamics and needs to be informed and learn how to approach.
20 ReplyYou're cute or hot, but they don't feel it's worth it to chase you. They think they can get better
20 Replyif a guy gets used to getting rejected, it'll be like a statistic to him and will just enjoy from afar.
41 Reply- +1 y
Couldn't agree more.
As being a guy I am scared to approach I am girl bit stressed face another hand A fun loving smile on her face give her confidence to approach
20 Reply- 526 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
+1 yBecause guys your age are immature. Confidence comes with age and experience.
10 Reply Today most people approach only through technology, it's harder to do it these day's. Also maybe because their to scared, not all men has high self esteem
10 ReplyAsk someone you like.. maby you get an answer and a new friend
10 Reply
+1 yAre you like other girls or are you a bit different?
19 Reply
Asker+1 yI'm not sure, Could you explain more or give me examples?
- +1 y
I meant are you normal in all the ways look there are two possibilities or three or more maybe I am not sure look either you are ugly by your face and you got a hot and sexy body so guys stare at you but never approached you or you have big giant brothers or cousins so nobody dares to reach you.
Asker+1 yI'm normal, from what people told me mostly that I have a innocent face, pretty and have a average healthy body.
- +1 y
Then you might have brothers who are body builders
Asker+1 yMy brother is differently not a bodybuilder lol.
- +1 y
Then don't worry about it and be patient and soon you'll meet the right guy
- +1 y
Don't even think why they don't approach me and things like that
Asker+1 yyea I know, I just wanted to know out my curiously and there isn't nothing for me to worry about anyways.
- +1 y
That's great you seems a decent girl so no worries be cool 😎
Same reason you might do it. Interested but fear of rejection.
12 Reply- +1 y
@Poppykate lol, ok! :)
Anonymous(25-29)+1 yHey this is the same case with me🙈
I don't know this may be in our personalities that I'm not a kinda girl who can be with any random guy but with the one with class😎10 Reply
+1 yOmg yes girl, same here😩 I’ve asked my guy friends this question & they’ve told me it’s cause their shy and fear rejection.
30 Reply
Anonymous(36-45)+1 ybecause they are pussies who play world of warcraft in their mommas basement.
31 ReplyMaybe you are too good for them, people stare at those who they can't get to, either because they think its a waste of time or think that you are already on a relationship with someone... Or viceversa...
10 Replythere's a number of factors like body language and letting people know you are free to talk. Also, please, don't generalize. There are shy guys too! They will unlikely make the first move, not becouse they don't like you.
10 Reply
+1 yWell I do the same thing and all I can say for me is shyness or dont Kno what to say mainly fear of rejection. Especially if your amazingly beautiful. The only way I would ever fallow threw is if a female looked back at me in my eyes and smiled
10 ReplyStaring is free. Approaching risks embarrassing rejection.
10 Reply
+1 yScare of rejection, they think u are out of there leauge or they think u are taken and don't have the balls to ask
20 Reply
Anonymous(25-29)+1 yCause we're shy as fuck and getting shut down is the fucking worst.
21 Reply
Asker+1 yYea I know how it feels it sucks a lot.
- 370 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic.
+1 yDepends on how you dress maybe?
Sometimes a girl only looks good from the outside but doesn't seem like a good mate11 Reply- +1 y
Nice update
You're amazing ❤ spread the love! 😊
Sometimes we want to stare at pretty girls without telling a thing for no reason.. sometimes we can't help but approach them.. it depends on the situation and the place i think, and the guy himself!
20 ReplyI don't approach girls I find attractive because in all honesty I feel I'd just be laughed at or told to go away. Not only that but I'm always under the impression that they're out of my league.
20 Reply
+1 yCause they think you're out of they're league. That's why can't guys can't.
20 Reply
Anonymous(30-35)+1 yAttractive girls can sometimes intimidate me. I'm afraid to say anything because I fear I could say the wrong thing and be seen as creepy, even though I end up being more creepy by just looking.
20 Reply
+1 yThey could be shy, you're probably attractive, and he doesn't know if you'll chew him out for approaching you due to the increase of (extremist) "feminists."
10 ReplyMaybe you look unreachable attractive. That can scare guys.
10 Reply
+1 ysometimes they feel shy or like they can intimidated by your looks because your so attractive
40 ReplyGuys can be shy. Eventually a good will come up to you and talk.
10 ReplyThe ones that just look ain't worth shit, its the guys that have the balls to say hi that you need to say back to
21 Reply- +1 y
Not necessarily, quite often the guys who have the confidence to say hi and speak to random girls have that confidence because 5 minutes after she's left he does it to another girl, and they both fall for it which is where he gets the confidence from, Because he knows girls will go for him
+1 yHonestly if I'm checking out a girl I try to make eye contact and smile if she smiles back then I think she approachable
20 Reply
+1 yYour to good and or hot for them and think your already taken, or there shy like me
20 Reply428 opinions shared on Guy's Behavior topic. Sometimes yea, just appreciating like. Either fear of rejection, could be not interested like
10 Reply
+1 yQuite simply, the fear of rejection. Little known thing about us men, we want what we want and dont really like to "lose"
10 ReplyBecause we never know what your response will be when we approach you, meaning that we do not known if you will think we are weird
10 ReplyIntimidation. I haven't seen you and I'm already scared.
10 Reply
+1 ySome are too nervous or well shy to approach a woman I myself am too shy till I get to know someone
10 ReplyGo talk to them...2018...
22 Reply
Asker+1 yLol I do, I just wanted to ask this question, just to have a better understanding that's all.
+1 yIntimidate them or maybe they think that you're too good for them
10 Reply- Show More (37)
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