Why do guys stare but never approach me?

[Anonymous]

Usually guys stare at me, but they never seem to approach me. Why are they like this? I know I should but why can't guys can't?

Updates

+1 y

I just wanted to say thank you everyone for their opinions and I only asked this question out of my curiosity. I wasn't complaining about why boys can't approach me. I just wanted a better understanding and know how guys really feel. These answers makes me feel bumed out to how guys feel these days. Its's me sad how most girls torn down most boys confidence and it become a fear to them. I do agree, I should be approaching those boys, but I was already doing that to other guys before.

Updates

+1 y

I hope everyone has a wonderful day and have a safe happy life. You know what they say "Love is when the other person's happiness is more important than your own".

[Romano9z]

Better question is, why do you not make the first move? You're a woman. Which means you're naturally better at conversations. Plus, doing so will strongly grab his attention more thoroughly.
But we men are not so great at approaching because we normally never see signs we recognize as interest. You may smile or some other gesture, but we always perceive it as just common courtesy. It never appears as indication of "Hey, Come talk to me".
A better technique would be to use your hand in that "come here" gesture. There's no way possible we can misunderstand that. And seriously; that would really give us a boost in confidence to talk to you.

[Asker]

Yea I know I have made the first move before, this is just question I want to ask and get the understanding of why.

[Romano9z]

I already said why, about midway.
To explain further, it's because rejection is incredibly difficult for us. So we would rather not make the attempt and keep things As-Is, than risk such a crushing blow. For us, it's hard to explain.

[Asker]

It's okay if it's hard to explain, but anyways thank you for your opinion!

[jaidee]

Guys do it all the time. They shoulder 99% of the rejection. Some to the point of being destroyed by it. Or they need time to rebuild the damaged self-esteem, which you never get damaged by never approaching and never being rejected (or supposing you did, you get tons of propositions to get self-esteem back up in no time).
... but you still have to complain about them not rushing headlong into a possible wall? Please google E-M-P-A-T-H-Y.

[Asker]

Wait are you saying I'm complaining about guys not approaching me? , I just wanted to understand how guys feel about approaching girls and it's the only reason why I asked this question.

[jaidee]

So when you say "I know I should but why can't guys?"
... isn't it you complaining that these guys stare at you without approaching you?

[Asker]

ooh I see I guess I should've put it into a different way. I wasn't trying to complain and I didn't realize it would sound like I was complaining , sorry for that.

[B_nash]

sometimes stares can be misinterpreted for insults rather than a crush sign. Most people stare at you while speaking to themselves inside their head about how you dress, how you look, or even ask themselves questions such as "should I talk to this girl". It's basically a mind situation.

[B_nash]

thanks for MHO!!

[Gianna17]

Most don't, even if you are attractive a lot of them may either not want a relationship or may be afraid of rejection. Dont take it personally, there's no way you can make them do it.

[Asker]

Yea Ik, there isn't nothing for me to worry about anyway. I'm just curious that's all.

[ChronicThinker]

They assume you're either taken, uninterested, or unobtainable.

[JSmuve]

These probably don't all apply to you but here are some common explanations

1) you're always busy doing something
2) you've always got your ear buds on
3) you're buried in your phone
4) you don't make eye contact
5) you don't smile
6) you have closed off body language
7) you're always moving
8) you're always in a group
9) you're talking to other guys
10) you're too attractive
11) you're not attractive enough
12) you look like you'd be a bitch
13) guys have had bad experiences with girls and fear they'd be rejected because they're not good enough or because you're taken
14) you're never alone long enough for them to approach
15) guys think you don't want to be approached because you get so much male attention already that they'd just annoy you
16) they think their approach won't be good enough for you
17) they have no reason to approach you that won't come off as painfully obvious

[DanielOfTheNorth]

Well it's hard to say for sure, but usually when I see a girl that I find attractive, I hesitate with whether to approach or just pass on. I figure if she liked me she would smile at me, or acknowledge my presence in some way. If it is just random eye contact, and we linger, then how can I know to make a move, without some sort of sign

[achezc]

You must be or the most beautiful woman ever or awful af, if you are the first one… well you intimidate most of us badly enough not to even dare to approach you

[achezc]

And by the way, if your personality is as nice as your looks I truly need to get to know you so please pm me… if your personality is not good… I don't give I fuck if you are the most gorgeous woman that ever existed I won't be interested

[Asker]

do you want to describe my personality and looks from what others say to me?

[achezc]

No, why would I care about others opinion? What it matters is what I think, I think you must guess yourself good enough to say honestly if you have a bad or a good personality…, want me to say it with other words? Tell me three good reasons (not related to how you look like) why someone should get to know you…

[Asker]

I am a very chill person and it's hard for me to get angry at someone, I care about my friends and family and I love to bake which is something that makes me happy and passionate about.

[achezc]

Well I hope to get a pm from you if you wanna chat, have a good one

[Asker]

Thank you, you too! by the way Thank you for your opinion :)

[achezc]

Sure… by the way an advice, maybe next time that happen to you if you like the guy approach him, we face that every single time

[SPChavan]

😂😂... This is very surprising for me to read this... Usually guys do approach girls
But if they are not then maybe you should.. it's nothing wrong in that

[Asker]

Yea it is and usually guys would but I guess it depends how the girl is like. I've approach guys before and everything went fine.

[Asker]

I usually think of myself as scary but a lot of people disagree on that lol.

[SPChavan]

Do it again with me this time.. Instagram - sanjeevchavan

[SPChavan]

Then maybe your going hard on yourself..

[Asker]

I can give you my ig instead it's victruong12345, you can have a look at my profile. tbh I look like a egg lol

[Anon-ymous1]

Well, it's one of two things: Either you're really pretty and they assume you already have a boyfriend so there's no point in getting rejected, or they don't think you're pretty at all and are just looking in like morbid fascination. The former is more likely I suppose.

[Caaarl]

Probably because you don't look very inviting. Give a smile. Guys generally don't want to get torn up for going up to a girl.

[Asker]

I do give a smile and they would ether hide their faces or smile back.

[Caaarl]

Some guys are just shy and need the woman to take the lead.

[tinkerth3]

May be u smile less and reserved ,
May be u appear as a strict teacher , try some new wardrobe set , throw some random smile truning back at some random guy. May be than can help to change ur image have fun :)

[Anonymous]

You know why it happens? Because we have no excuse to talk to you, to start a conversation. Even if I liked you, it's stupid to come in front of you and say "Hi, you look nice."

I realized, that it's really tough to start a convo with a random girl because you don't have a valid excuse.

Asking for a direction is one thing, but it's so damn cliche.

[Mafo333]

i also sometimes stare at girls and exchange smiles and stuff like that. i like never approach the girl unless i see something where i can talk about, otherwise those conversations would be awkward as fuck.

[KevinSmiley13]

A lot of guys nowadays just don't know what to do or say any more. The 3rd wave feminism and the Metoo movement shared a lot of experiences. Some men are more hesitant now because they don't want to overstep.

[BadAssHunter]

Hiding behind feminism as an excuse for you being a coward and not having the balls to approach a woman is silly and overused "nowadays".

[Caaarl]

@BadAssHunter Don't you realize how much backlash men have had for just expressing attraction to women? Apparently if you look too much at a woman it's frowned upon. You don't have any idea how toxic society has been.

[BadAssHunter]

Maybe you're the toxic one. There's a civilized respectful way and an uncivilized disrespectful way. The only thing you'd get backlash for is looking at a woman inappropriately to a woman who respects herself stop making excuses for you ridiculous behaviour.

[BadAssHunter]

People like you have made the relationship between male and female toxic with your mindset and how you think of each other. Any backlash you get is your own fault unless it's something petty a crazy feminist is screaming about.

[Caaarl]

The problem is women are making all the rules and men are being told to shut up and shit down. They're trying to repress our sexuality. It's a fucking problem. I don't ever see a man complaining about a woman staring because she finds him attractive and woman do it all the time too.

[BadAssHunter]

I didn't know feminism runs your life. If you're that weak that you can't think for yourself then I don't know why you're even talking.
Nobody is trying to repress men. Maybe you should stop being a pervert and looking at women as something to bang and you wouldn't have this problem. Last I checked, men run the world and that's never going to change so stop with your excuses and whining as of life is so hard for you to grow a pair and be a man.

[Caaarl]

You really have no idea you're so self centered if anyone complains they are the problem huh. You are living in lala land if you think men aren't effected by the negative culture women are creating.

[Caaarl]

The world is extremely gynocentric women get special treatment all the time. It might be a mans world but women benefit all the time from it.

[BadAssHunter]

Self centered? That makes absolutely no sense. I live in a world run by men. Men create the negative culture and this is the outcome. Men aren't effected by it unless they're only attracted to crazy feminist. Stop chasing feminist and you won't have to deal with this.

[BadAssHunter]

Sure they do and it's men who give it to them because they worship them. Women don't run anything but their mouths.

[Caaarl]

People like you are the problem.

[BadAssHunter]

Your mom is because she invented a problem... YOU! LOL

[Caaarl]

You are so pathetic and weak.

[BadAssHunter]

Like your argument? I wasn't even responding to you. Run along child. I don't wanna hear your excuses for refusing your manhood.

[KevinSmiley13]

I agree with you. Groups like mgtow and incel are just blaming women for their shortcomings. And if a woman says that approaching her and trying to have a conversation is misogyny. She's not the type of person I'd want to date or even converse with.

[jessture]

Isn't it hillarious when women try to mansplain something they will never experience?

[BadAssHunter]

@KevinSmiley13 Thank you!

[BadAssHunter]

@jessture Common sense and pure reality isn't hard to explain. However, it is funny to see men like you hide behind women, make childish excuses and let feminist overpower you.

[jessture]

I'm not hiding behind anyone. But thanks for assuming and mansplaining for me. If you want to have an actual conversation without slinging mud...

[Caaarl]

Exactly she acts like it's our fault that women have made the dating culture negative. I'm not using it an excuse for anything I'm just saying it exists and I can understand why men are feeling alienated.

[jessture]

Yes exactly, the dating landscape has changed, approaching a stanger is something that is not the same as it was. They can blame men all they want, but it would be more productive to discuss the details of what/how without assuming we don't know the difference between catcalling and approaching someone at the bar. We want to talk about the nuance about approaching someone at the bar, we know catcalling is not how to do it.

[BadAssHunter]

"Mansplaining" isn't a real word and does not exist. Maybe you should stop assuming things about women. @jessture

@Caaarl Yeah because women are to blame for everything wrong with modern day dating. You say women are the reason you can't be a man but you're not using that as an excuse... Wow. Just wow.

[BadAssHunter]

"Exactly" "Exactly" lol "we're so smart and know it all yet we can't approach women because feminism" Yeah, feminism runs the world in sure lol Excuses, excuses. Then you wanna say "they can blame men" yet you're the only one here blaming women as a whole.

[jessture]

Its clear you're just interested in slinging mud so I'm done talking. If you're interested in a constructive conversation and can set your hatred aside I'll listen. But you're just trolling.

[BadAssHunter]

@jessture you wouldn't know what trolling is if your mom did it.
You how's into MY conversation. I was never conversing with you from the start. Go dick ride on your own post.

[jessture]

Lmao you expect me to take you seriously? All you're doing is trolling.

[BadAssHunter]

You came*

[BadAssHunter]

Yet you're here talking to me? What are you doing? You people call any kind of argument "trolling" because you can't handle it. Foh.

[BadAssHunter]

You act like you wanna have a civil conversation yet you guys are the ones name calling.
I think it's time for men like you to date men since all women are feminist.

[jessture]

Lmao, are you going to do anything constructive? Scroll up, I attempted several times to further the conversation, and you've done nothing but gaslight and mansplain. Clearly you're just trolling.

[BadAssHunter]

Your first comment, "Isn't it hillarious when women try to mansplain something they will never experience?" Yeah, you were trying to further it alright. You came here insulting and bitching about women because obviously you can't get one and I don't blame them. I wouldn't touch you if you were the last male on earth because you're a whiney little bitch.

[BadAssHunter]

Keep repeating yourself and responding to my "trolling". You don't take me seriously yet here you are, still engaging in conversation with me lol

[OralMayhem]

Well we can't really tell you if you don't post a picture. Maybe it's that third eye in your forehead or maybe you have one of those "outtie" belly buttons... Ewwww..

[Asker]

Do you have Instagram? You can have a look at my profile it's victruong12345

[OralMayhem]

Sorry I don't do Instagram, just gag.

[Mikey_Ramone]

I can't. I am way too shy to approach a girl directly in real life until I get home and text her on the phone saying I am having a crush on you blah blah blah, and I think I might blow that chance anyway.

[Main_man_Dan]

It's just how people are now a days. Nobody wants to bother anyone out of respect. Also nobody wants to make a move on someone in a relationship. Id say that's probably the biggest thing

[LookinTooSmile]

In complete honesty. you're either too attractive for your own good. Or you're not attractive at all. Depends on circumstance. Those that are incredibly attractive tend to be more out of reach.

[kittycity]

They are shy or they could not even be shy. They might just not know what to talk about, so they just stare instead.

[AlphaMale1]

After a while men get fed up with being turned down by women. Women do a lot of damage from this behavior and yet they come here asking, "Why" lol

[Crashnoveride]

Because we are trying to gauge your thoughts and reading your body language.
We guys tend to have a 30/70 pass/fail ratio when approaching someone.
We try to figure out what to say without seeming like a complete wacko/wierdo.

[chrissykerdock]

you might be too pretty and/or look classy as well guys approach sluts faster than anything else.

[jjj101010]

Can’t say until I’ve seen u. U could be stunning or have 3 ears. Both would cause people to stare!

[Asker]

a lot of people say I'm cute, has a innocent looking face, pretty, attractive etc which is something I don't agree with and that's all I can say from what people said to me. does that help lol?

[jjj101010]

DM me