Why do a lot of guys stare at me but never approach?

[Anonymous]

Hi, yes, I finally left my house yesterday lol.

And it was a boost to my shitty self esteem (thanks dating apps), because I apparently caught the attention of a LOT of guys. Even my friend noticed and laughed about it...

These men would stare into my EYES, into my SOUL, but nobody approached me?

Can someone explain this phenomenon? (haha)

Thanks.

Updates

1 y

Guys I started dressing differently recently. I hardly show off my body (just a preference) so I feel like these men stare but they’re not looking for more than a hook up. So they won’t bother with me because I don’t give a hook up vibe.

Updates

1 y

Guys I went to the supermarket today and the amount of LOOKS I got but no approaches!!!

[OfMiceandMen]

If you are with friends, guys are less likely to approach you as they don't want to get shot down in front of your friends.

The guy (s) could also being in a relationship and although they are already with someone, staring is not cheating so they get their eye-full.

Then there are the single guys who will stare, but never approach you because they are too afraid and prefer to admire you from a distance.

I think that pretty well sums up why guys tend to stare and not approach.

[OfMiceandMen]

Re Update: In order to catch the right fish, you need the right lure.

[Asker]

Oooooh what’s the right lure like

[OfMiceandMen]

1) No gimmicks, trying to look like something they are not,
2) Classic styling,
3) Somewhat Curvy, so lots of action, and
4) Unique design/appearance.😂

[Asker]

Haha alright I see

[ColHathi]

What RealMarek said.

I'd also add that some might not want to be rude and interrupt whatever the girl is doing. If you're not wearing a sign that says "approach me", a lot of guys probably aren't gonna know that you want to be approached.

Some guys might also fear competition.

I personally have also probably become a bit bitter, and so I have a few more issues with dating this way:

For one thing you're basing who you want to date purely on something superficial that doesn't matter (in my opinion).

I also don't like when girls expect guys to be the ones to have to approach them, but ofc I can't know if a girl thinks that way or not, so I just don't approach them at all.

I don't know how many other guys feel that way, but I imagine the way that we do dating today is causing a lot of issues like this. I think it's insanely flawed.

[ColHathi]

Supermarket update: Maybe you had a booger sticking out? 🤔

[Asker]

😂😂😂😂

[Jazzy54]

There are a multitude of reasons. Some guys are shy and/or lack self confidence. They may like a girl, but will never approach her due to a lack of self confidence. On the flip side, would *you* approach you? In other words, are you open and friendly?

[midnightmoon05]

They look, wanting yiur attention. But fear to start a conversation. If you are also interested, smile back. Start a conversation.

[Rosexøxø]

Happy for you tbh.

If you actually want them to approach, try a nice light/friendly smile.

If you want something serious. None of them are going to be serious enough to approach and leap for asking for a relationship- ON SIGHT lol

it has to be frequent seeing each other and multiple eye glances that would encourage them to ask and TEST out things for something POSSIBLY serious.

If you want casual dating and maybe hook ups, a friendly stare and smile will be inviting than just two people staring at each other like this: 😳

… 😳

… 😳

lol if they don’t smile back or approach then can’t really discuss anything from there.

See how it goes.

A smile back will also mean confidence on their end (good signs), and also that you may not have broccoli on the chin lol

Be confident yourself, I’m sure you’re gorgeous and any guy would love to treat you to some nice things.

[Rosexøxø]

Yes yes
Definitely get out more. As much as you can!

With or without friends

[Asker]

Thank you!! Will definitely be smiling back

[Rosexøxø]

sounds like a plan! Hopeful for youuu 🤞✨❣️

[Asker]

Thanks :) x

[RealMarek]

There are many possible reasons:

You’re clearly attractive, so probably some think you’re out of their league. A lot of guys hate getting rejected so they’ll decline to approach a woman who will probably reject them.

Some might be shy.

Some might be hesitant to do a cold approach after the Me-Too movement made it a little risky to make an unwanted advance, even in a social setting.

Some might have tried and gotten shot down by women who said they think it’s creepy to be approached when there are dating apps for that. This is unfortunate, but I’ve met women who think this way.

[Z1pTD]

^agreed

[TonyMetal___86]

The majority of men look at all women but you need to know why are they looking at you (what's their intentions) i bet that the majority of them is just sexual or just wanna flirt, if one of them was really interested in you than he would of approached you, don't forget that not all men are capable of making the 1st step, so this makes it harder 🙂

In the end, you want a real approach by someone who truly wants a serious relationship with you and not some casual dating...

[Asker]

Yeah I was thinking about that too. I feel like a lot of them look because they’re attracted but they’re not looking for a relationship. They can see I don’t present myself in a certain way so instantly they know it’s not worth talking to me 🤷🏻‍♀️

Seems like there’s less husband material men these days.

[TonyMetal___86]

Very true, these days the majority of men wants a no strings attached relationship...
Even if you find someone who wants marriage, you need to see if you are both compatible with each other...
Men and women these days are different from the past, the more you ask for traits in the other, the harder it gets...
Also these days, a lot of people are affraid from marriage because of the high rates in divorce and in western countries, it's usuallu the men who pays the price because their laws aren't fair and women gets the best from everything...

I believe that if the marital laws are changed to become more strict on women and even men than the divorce rate will drop and add to it (teaching kids about love, marriage and family in schools) to grow up in a positive way about what a real marriage is, plus add to it (faith) when the parents teaches their children about the teachings of god related to marriage and where to seek the right people for the right solutions in case of marital problems... etc
If all these are combined, i believe that we will have better society, better people and a huge drop in divorce rates...

[Jamie05rhs]

@TonyMetal86 That doesn't make any damn sense. If they're interested in sex, then of course they will approach her! Because there's no way they can possibly have sex with her if they don't!

[Jamie05rhs]

I completely agree with your second comment, though!

[Asker]

@TonyMetal___86 that sounds like a good idea. I think just knowing how you’re marrying rather than just jumping into it too. A lot of people rush into it or enjoy the idea rather than what it is

[Jamie05rhs]

@itsalyssaagain I totally agree.

[KostasKouvalis]

Speaking from personal experience, at least in THEIR eyes, they either feel they're average guys who are way out of your league.

OR, and this is a good one. They assume you're already taken because you're hot.

[KostasKouvalis]

Update: That's possible

[Asker]

Yeah I’ve been thinking about it. Seems like the case

[KostasKouvalis]

2nd Update: Damn. Could it also be because Londoners aren't very social to begin with?

[Asker]

The girls talk to me

[KostasKouvalis]

That's nice 🙂

[slatyb]

You look FINE, but mostly we don't hit on strange women I'm the street.

[Asker]

So how do you find girlfriends

[slatyb]

I found them online. Now I'm more social and would ask friends if they knew anyone. I would still search online. I canove pretty result so I would search the whole country.

[Asker]

I see

[exitseven]

You are mesmerizing in a big way. Maybe so big that guys get afraid of you.

[Asker]

I mean I doubt lol

[exitseven]

It is probably one of the scariest things I ever did. So I wouldn't feel too bad about that.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Eye candy you might be & if guys don’t approach you put your big girl panties on & you approach them. In life if you never try you will never know so go for it.

[David4358]

If you're really attractive guys will look but might just assume you have a boyfriend

[Asker]

BUT I DON'T THAT'S THE PROBLEM ahhhhhh :'(

[Asker]

Haha sorry by the way not yelling and you I am just dramatic!

[David4358]

If you dont have a boyfriend then you have to kind of flirt back.. if the looking you kind of like back then make sure to smile at him keep looking over at him. he should come over and start talking to you

and dont worry about the caps lol its ok to be frustrated

[Asker]

This is verrrrrrry helpful thank you!! I’m gonna try and do that. Funny thing is I get shy so I tend to look away. I’m going to try 😂

[David4358]

Yeah if you look away and don't look back your signaling your not interested

[Wise4myage]

Guys that do they are afraid of being rejected and they will make excuses not to approach you.

[Wise4myage]

Low self esteem is also a reason.

[Asker]

That's odd lol

[Wise4myage]

A lot of guys are intimidated by beauty.

[Asker]

I don't know what to do 😂😂

[Wise4myage]

Just be yourself my friend.

[Asker]

Thanks I will do

[Jamie05rhs]

Because they know you're a Muslim so there's no point.

[Asker]

They can’t tell

[Jamie05rhs]

@itsalyssaagain I mean maybe they can guess.

[Asker]

I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️

[AmeerX]

🙈 See, I told you, you are underestimating yourself.

[AmeerX]

You should keep your attire modest despite everything:)

[Asker]

Thanks. I’ve been feeling more comfortable that way lately tbh with you

[AmeerX]

I don't mean you can't wear clothes to look good.

[Asker]

What do you mean?

[AmeerX]

I mean it's actually nice to wear skirt 👗 and nice looking dresses :). Don't be trashy though

[Asker]

I understand! But I actually really like my body I work out a lot. I used to wear clothes that made my body look good, but recently I’ve started feeling more comfortable covering up a little more. Like wearing baggier trousers and less revealing tops etc. I don't know I just don’t like the feeling of being exposed anymore.

[AmeerX]

I think it's your wife instinct kicking in. It's a good sign.

[Asker]

It could be!!! I mean it wasn’t like this a few months ago

[MrCommodore]

You must be either very good looking or maybe you spilled something on your shirt/top.

I don't think guys generally approach women randomly, I certainly wouldn't, but I guess it would depend on where I met her.

[Still-alive]

Fewr of rejection might be one reason. Maybe assuming you’re taken, intimidated by your good looks (i still think you’re likely a knockout looks wise heh). Stuff like this

[Still-alive]

Fear*

[NathanDavis]

window shopping

[Asker]

Sigh

[NostalgiaSenpi]

Probably have resting bitch face.

[Asker]

I give off friendly vibes I think lol. I always get approached by strangers for help.

[zagor]

Booger on your nose?

[Asker]

Nope

[Degenerate]

Your first mistake was leaving the house

[Asker]

Damn was planning to go to the supermarket today haha

[Degenerate]

I'll meet you there my love

[Anonymous]

Maybe you look anxious or sad or insecure

[Asker]

I am usually approached by strangers for help etc I think I give off a friendly vibe lol. Also a lot of strangers smile at me.

[BaileyWillow]

Approach them.

[Guardian45]

Shyness. Intimidation.