Man I’m dating is moving across the state for a new job. He insists it’s timing and not feelings and wants to still be my support system?

[Anonymous]

we have been friends for 15 years before becoming intimate with one another. He said I felt like home, can see a real future with me (also said that scared him because it was so real) he loves my company and our time together. Talks to me about very serious topics (finances, life goals and visions). Obviously we didn’t expect this move to come but it has and I proposed a long distance for now and take things slow. He said he isn’t ready, and the new job will be consuming. I can totally relate and understand. He also insists it’s about timing and not over feelings or lack of. We are both from the same area of hometowns and both have spoken about eventually relocating back. When he told he wasn’t ready, he also insisted on continuing to be there for me and be my support system. Will he come back? Or is he just letting me down easy because of friendship history?

[Anonymous]

Both. ﾠ

[Oliverlogan263]

This is a tricky situation with no clear answers. A few possibilities:

1. He's being sincere that the timing isn't right and he wants to maintain your connection. New jobs can be all-consuming, and long distance can be hard. He may see a future with you once he settles into his new role and life.

2. He's backing off romantically but values your friendship, so he wants to stay in your life in a supportive role. He may have concerns about pursuing a serious relationship right now.

3. He's letting you down easy to avoid a difficult conversation. Ending things can be hard when you've known each other for so long, so saying the "timing is wrong" is an easier excuse.

4. He does have strong feelings for you but is hesitant to pursue a long distance relationship. The uncertainty of being apart and not knowing what the future holds may be holding him back.

Without direct communication, it's hard to know his true intentions. His words and actions are somewhat mixed. Some signs point to interest, while others suggest hesitancy.

For now, I'd say take him at his word - he wants to remain supportive but isn't ready for a full-fledged long distance relationship. Continue spending time together and see how things progress naturally once he settles into his new job and life. Avoid pushing or pressuring him.

If over time you feel he's keeping you at arm's length romantically and you want more clarity, have an honest conversation. Let him know your feelings but also respect his response. At that point, you'll have a better sense of whether to move on or continue pursuing something slowly. For now, focus on enjoying each other's company in the present without expectations. I hope this perspective provides some clarity and reassurance.

[Nikki1989]

You lost me at support system. Why do you need anything like that?

[Asker]

Right? He knows I have my built in support system. Why want to continue to insert yourself in my life is my question. In my mind it’s that he wants to stay on the sidelines cause he is being truthful about it being bad timing or he doesn’t give two shits about me and I’ve been blinded and he can be there because it doesn’t bring him any emotions

[Avicenna]

Impossible for us to say- only he knows. You two need better communication.

[In_Trance]

It's time to go your separate ways