We had a fight almost 3 weeks ago, it wasn’t a major fight. He is still mad and when he gets mad it takes him weeks to get over it. He says we are slowly getting back to normal but still not completely and he needs time.
This is bothering me because we have a vacation in 4 days and it’s also my birthday soon. Is it wrong of me to want him to just get over this for the sake of our vacation and my birthday? I’ve explained I don’t want to go if he is still mad at me, he says I have to go.
"I don’t think I am minimising it but maybe you can give me perspective. So the argument basically I put my foot in my mouth with his mom while we were all talking. His sister is going travelling alone soon and we were talking about it and I said she should be careful, people get murdered travelling alone. And it was one of those moments where you know straight away you probably shouldn’t have said it and it’s too late by that point. I wasn’t really thinking. That was it so it’s not serious to me but obviously to him it is. But I mean he did say he is slowly getting back to normal with me but it’s still gonna take a few weeks. So am I unreasonable or is he? Now I do have a tendency to speak before I think sometimes."
I'm surprised you didn't include this in your original post. It's relevant.
While I don't want to stir the pot here and create even more discord between you and your boyfriend, it's he who is the problem here. You said you sometimes speak before thinking, and you let this comment about the danger come out in a blunt way—yes, you did. But that is your only misstep here. And it is not something for your boyfriend to make this big a deal out of. Most people would let this slide. Especially as you have apologized and do genuinely feel bad for upsetting anyone. But he should not be still angry about this. Yes, he should absolutely put this behind you both, and go and have a nice vacation together. How you get him to do that, I don't know, but perhaps you could read him some of the responses here. Sometimes crowd sourcing really is a good thing.
your heart was in the right place, just the words came out wrong. seems silly to be mad about this for 3 weeks? its a bit much in my opinion, but i would say ask him to talk and see what happens
If something were going to upset me for 3 weeks... it would probably be something big and something I take very seriously... meaning it is probably something worthy breaking up over.
I'd never stay mad for a month... I would have just broken up. If she is crossing my boundaries that badly or betraying me that horribly I'd just break up and I'd instantly be at peace. Why torture yourself for a month?
You say it wasn't anything major. Either you are minimizing it and it is very major in that case he should just dump you or it really is minor and he is just nuts. In that case you may want to think about dumping him.
What is the issue about? What is the topic of your argument?
I don't know what the fight was about, but if it really wasn't a major fight, and the only reason he's mad is that it takes him WEEKS to get over a not very serious disagreement, and now he's telling you that you HAVE to go on a vacation you don't want to on, when his bad behavior is the reason you don't want to go... I mean, maybe you should just break up with this guys.
He sounds like an abusive, manipulative, emotionally immature a**hole, no offense.
I guess he has some good qualities, but it really does seem like you'd be better off without him.
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"he says I have to go." <--- that's BS. You don't have to go, any more than he has to stop being mad. Neither of you has to do anything that the other person wants.
I'd just call it quits honestly, but I am not interested in playing stupid games with people who can't move on after having a sufficient amount of time to get their head on straight. If someone is still mad at me after more than a week and we've talked about it, then they have some bigger issues to work out and I'm not going to be their punching bag for unresolved issues.
I certainly wouldn't go on vacation with this person.
Your boyfriend has been mad at you for three weeks & when it comes to vacation he says you have to go? You better listen to The Warden, start packing your bags!
I've read though the comments for info and as I see it. Dump this guy, he seems toxic. I rarely advice dumping as it's commonly just too quick and simple of a solution but this seem a highly onesided problem, his problem.
Is he overthinking the issue and wallowing or does he just have no outlet for his emotions whatsoever (physical activities)?
Brooding is one thing but brooding to the point where it makes his partner miserable or insecure.. he need to work on this.. or get gone.
part of why his recovery from that may be from it beong brought up again and again. not saying you have been but i do know of a lot of people that do bring such up over and over, often to see if still upset. thing is that there is often a subtext of trying to force the healing to be on the one bringing it up again's timing instead of the one in recovery's timing. guess which timing matters most of those 2 choices.
It's not true that "it's not a major fight" AND it was 3 weeks ago and he's still mad at you.
You don't have to go. Are you living together? His behavior is intolerable and controlling. Where's the love? What are you getting out of this relationship?
I think the best you can do right now is do not talk about it anymore the more you talk about it the more you will annoy him. He'll get over it and you'll have a great vacation together.
Well it depends on what you were arguing about. And just because YOU don't deem is as a big deal, doesn't automatically mean that's the same for HIM.
3 weeks? that's so funny. but dince he said going back to notmal maybe that's a sign of mental issues that he is hidinh
I love this film Josh is so gorgeous why is he mad at you
maybe he's cheating within these "getting over it" weeks? 👽
Just have sex with him and he’ll get over it guys aren’t hard to please
Sounds like he is punishing you. The guy needs to open up and heal his wounds or confess.
You have to submit and respect your man. You lucky he didn't break up with you. Talking back to your man like that is disrespectful. You have to honor your man through thick and thin.
It wasn't a big deal to you, it might have been to him. So you can want him to get over it, but you can't force him to.
I think he is seeing someone else or wants to, and is sending you on vacation alone to make it easier for him to do that.
No, it's not wrong of you for wanting him to get over it. But nonetheless you don't get to say when he gets over something.
Break up. He has reason to be mad.
How about you stop pissing him off?
