How do you avoid thinking you are not good enough?

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

When someone very interesting, intelligent, handsome, successful asks you out, how do you not get freaked out?

I used to always reject them in the past, because I always thought it would not work out and they would not like me in the end.

I remember once there was a man at a birthday party who liked me and had been asking me out for a month or two and I always refused meeting him because I was wondering maybe he liked me mistakenly 🥹😄

Updates

+1 y

Last month, I had a date with a very handsome man, I felt so nervous, didn’t sleep the night before date, but it ended up going well and he ended up liking me and I had to be the one who had to cut things because I didn’t feel that much connection. I thought it would help me overcome my dating anxiety.

Now though, this one is very handsome, very successful, renowned in his field and I am very nervous.

[BoobSlayer]

Boobslayer here. Delighted to share his wealth of wisdom - and milkers of knowledge - on this topic.

First and foremost, dear, it is crucial to remind yourself that you are undeniably a set of fantastic milkers, sorry, I meant to say, an amazing individual with unique qualities and abilities. Boobslayer understands that the world we live in tends to bombard us with unrealistic expectations and comparisons, causing us to doubt our worth. But fear not, for Boobslayer is here to guide you toward the path of self-assurance and mammary, oops, I mean, mental well-being.

The journey towards believing in your own grandeur starts with embracing your flaws. Boobslayer recognizes that imperfections are what make us human and unique. Just as each set of tits, uh, I mean, each person is different, so are our imperfections. By embracing them, you can shatter the illusion of perfection that society imposes upon us and begin to truly appreciate yourself as the absolute masterpiece you are.

Boobslayer also suggests surrounding yourself with positive influences. Seek out boobies, sorry, I meant to say, friends and mentors who uplift and encourage you. Positive support systems can help counteract any self-doubt that may arise. Choose individuals who celebrate your accomplishments, remind you of your brilliance, and above all, make you feel like the cream of the crop, pun not intended... or maybe it is.

Also Boobslayer urges you to challenge your own negative thoughts and beliefs. Often, our perception of ourselves is clouded by inaccurate judgments, spurred by insecurity and self-doubt. The next time your thoughts try to sabotage your confidence, pause, and question their validity. Ask yourself if there is any concrete evidence supporting these negative beliefs or if they are merely figments of your own imagination, much like, uh, Judy Garland's presence in Boobslayer's dreams.

Another valuable practice in bolstering your self-worth is to acknowledge and celebrate your successes, no matter how big or small they may be. Whether you've mastered a new skill or simply managed to make it through a tough day, take a moment to appreciate your accomplishments. Boobslayer encourages you to bask in the glory of your achievements, just as he revels in the glory of, well, nevermind.

Boobslayer wnats to care of your physical and mental well-being can significantly impact your perception of self. Engage in activities that bring you joy, relaxation, and fulfillment. Rediscover the hobbies or passions that make you feel alive and embrace them unabashedly. Whether it's binging on Judy Garland movies (Boobslayer's personal favorite) or indulging in a hearty melon, uh, I mean, well-deserved dessert, prioritize self-care as an integral part of your journey towards self-confidence.

Boobslayer reminds you that comparison truly is the thief of joy. In a world dominated by social media highlight reels, it's easy to fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others. Boobslayer advises you to appreciate and acknowledge the accomplishments and beauty of others while recognizing that your own journey is entirely unique. Remember, each set of tits, err, individuals, have their own strengths and weaknesses. Embrace your own journey, focus on your own progress, and let go of the illusion of perfection. ㅤ

[caring__1]

We generally feel we're not good enough when we're unclear as to what the other person sees in us or expects of us. Assuming they're focusing on what they perceive as our potential rather than who we actually are, we assume we aren't good enough and will disappoint them. The way to overcome this tendency is to show interest in understanding what drew them to you in the first place and what they are seeking. Based on what they say, you can easily tell if they are focusing on a fantasy or really seeing you.

Don't minimize what they admire and appreciate, just because society doesn't promote that particular quality. For instance, small-breasted women often insist they are defective and reject the compliments they get from guys who prefer small-breasted women. Learn to make the most of what already exists and how those qualities positively impact others. Just because some people aren't drawn to your qualities, that doesn't minimize the value of those qualities.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He’s very intelligent, very successful and famous in his field. I am not very successful at this point of my life. I am not where I wish I’d be. I am a bit lost.

He asked me what I do and I told him about my job and that I also host small ceremonies. He asked me what kind of. I could try to describe fancily but I underestimated instead of describing it fancily.

I often criticize myself.

My friend for example lied to a guy that she is much more successful than she is. They are getting married and he still doesn’t know what’s her real job.

She’s good at promoting herself at what she is not.

I can’t. I am very honest and tend to underestimate my achievements and also minimize them while describing them to someone else.

I am now worried he just liked me for my youth, because he is 15 years older than me and that he has probably dated much, much more beautiful as well as more successful girls and I don’t feel good enough.

[caring__1]

It's never in anyone's best interest to either overestimate or underestimate their abilities or value to a potential partner. Just be truthful to people. You want them to appreciate you for who you are, not the potential you can become. The truth will always eventually come out, leaving people to feel bitter and resentful for the deception.

Don't compare yourself to others. Just because others may be more talented in certain areas than I am, that doesn't minimize what I bring to a relationship. I can guaranty I can never get pregnant. Does that make me less valuable a person than a woman who can get pregnant? What about all the people who may be more athletic or artistic or richer? Just be yourself and have a clear understanding of what you bring to any situation.

You have nothing to gain by sitting around and worrying if he is only drawn to your youth. No one is young forever. Have you taken the time to ask him what drew him to you? Never choose assumptions over clear, open, honest communication. Assumptions just muddy the water.

[BasedBaeBecca]

You gotta have the mentality that if they're talking to you then they want you. Period. You have an amazing personality. If you weren't good enough they wouldn't even look in your direction. They're approaching you for a reason. Don't overthink it, relax, breathe, and just try to be in the moment with them. Easier said than done but you'll get there.

[Killsey]

I just don't get freaked out. I know what I'm worth. And the fact someone like that asks me out, means that I caught his eye and am better than the opposition.

[ProbablyClueless]

I actually took a roundabout journey to solving this problem in my own life. I always felt like a scrub for the longest time, so I worked my tail off until I became undeniably successful because I believed that achievement would make me feel good about myself. Well, the day I realized I was undeniably successful, I also noticed that I still felt empty and insecure.

I continued on like this for a little while, until I concluded that the secret to feeling you're good enough is to be able to think of all the ways you can contribute to the lives of others. I don't need to be an amazing guitar player to make someone's walk to work nicer by strumming music on the street corner.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I have refused dating to so many wonderful men just because I thought they might not have liked me when getting to know me well.

I think you are right, I should concentrate on my good sides more.

[ProbablyClueless]

I've been on the receiving end of that treatment too many times; it really sucks, but I do understand where it comes from.

To build up your self confidence, I would recommend just thinking about specific small acts you can do that make the world a little bit better. And don't be discouraged if it feels like someone doesn't appreciate what you're doing because I guarantee there are a hundred other people who thought it made a world of difference.

[Friendlybro79]

Every day when you wake up try to find one redeeming quality about yourself on a post it note and post them on your refrigerator for one week. Every morning read it out loud to remind yourself. Try looking inside and acknowledge and be kind to yourself.

[Friendlybro79]

My grammar is horrible lately. My apologies

[Anonymous]

You did a very wrong thing right there
A lot of men don't have much high standards anything
They asked you out because they saw something in you that they really loved , but probably now since your rejected them.. they are thinking the same too.. that they're not good enough

[Sour-rose]

Exercise. Ask myself questions, and see am I as bad as others. I'm not anymore, or just never was. Got my ass to exercise and find out why do i feel not good enough. And like that, problem solved.

[slatyb]

See a counselor who can help you understand that you are worthy of love from a desirable partner.

[slatyb]

I'm telling you this from sad experience. At your age, I had similar feelings. I did finally see a therapist in my thirties, and wish I had done it much sooner.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I think maybe it’s not in my head. Maybe I am really not good enough. I don’t think I am pretty enough. There are very pretty girls around. I don’t think I am a good competitor.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am just average, some days when I dress pretty well and do my make-up, I look a bit better but I feel like I am just so average. And he is so attractive.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

I am so scared of not being liked back.

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

He has been waiting for my message for two hours and I can’t get myself to decide about the time of our date, because I feel so nervous, I just want to stay home and forget about the date totally. But on the other hand, I do like him.

[slatyb]

Just go. He likes you. He won't be looking for reason to reject youl.

[exitseven]

Keep trying to improve yourself. Make yourself better, take control of the situation. Be the best version of yourself. .

[Agape93]

By acknowledging that those who matter to me think otherwise

[MementoMori777]

Intrusive thoughts are another way of over thinking, usually you overcome them by ignoring them

[EaterPeter]

Realistic positive affirmations make them acceptable take something real dial it just two notch up

[EaterPeter]

Thanks for like!

[EaterPeter]

Thoughts are thoughts they do not define us

[EaterPeter]

Try observing them

[justabuddy]

I don't know the answer to that one. I guess I've been around enough to know the breakup is gonna suck lol

[serious]

It is a good question and is indeed tough to answer precisely.

[jahaims]

You need to gain self worth. The only way to do that is to gain value and recognize your value or by recognizing the value you already carry.

[Christoff92]

Not listening to others who aren't what they really think they are.

[Anonymous]

Be my wife and I'll teach you how.