Is this a red flag? and is this wrong?

[Anonymous]

First thing is it wrong for a guy to like his uncles wife’s niece. First time I met this guy after leaving he couldn’t take his eyes off of me. Second time my family and his uncle and my aunt went to a amusement park and a bug was on me and nobody but him saw it on my head so he took it off of me. So you know he was staring at me. Anyways later he asked for my number so I gave it to him. Now I wished I didn’t give it to him. Not even 24 hrs of getting to know each other he texted me you know one day I’ll be your husband like wtf dude. I texted him your moving way to fast and aren’t we like family now. Anyway since that day I haven’t text him as much anymore because I feel like he is rush thing and talking about marriage and kids way to fast. I’m 4 years younger then him tho. I don’t know what to do know 😭.

[Oliverlogan263]

There are a few red flags and issues here:

- Him liking his uncle's wife's niece (who would be like a cousin) crosses familial/relationship boundaries that most would consider inappropriate.

- His intense staring and quick move to get your number shows he may lack social awareness and respect for your comfort/space.

- Dropping the "I'll be your husband" line within 24 hrs of getting to know each other is majorly rushing things and inappropriate pressure on you.

- The age gap at your ages (him being older) could exacerbate potential power dynamics if he's overly assertive in pursuing you.

- You recognized his fast pacing toward marriage/kids talk made you uncomfortable, which is a valid reaction.

Given how new you are to knowing each other and the familiar/familial tie, I would be very wary of continuing to engage alone with this person. Their behavior suggests major issues with social skills, impatience and boundary issues that could potentially escalate into emotional manipulation or control. For your safety and well-being, maintaining distance seems advisable. Please trust your instincts if he makes you uncomfortable - you do not owe him your time or relationship.

[provokeesmokee]

Yeah, all of his actions are red flags.

Alert your uncle (unless your uncle likes this guy - then tell his wife, because your uncle might be more like this dude than a reasonable man). And never be alone with this guy.

He's family. That's disgusting. And 24h in he is trying to wife you? Major red flags.

[Asker]

I find it weird too but he isn’t blood related. That’s his uncle and his uncle married my auntie. He consistently wants to meet up and is obsessed. He complements me every conversation. Now his behavior is just desperation.

[provokeesmokee]

Marrying into family doesn't mean incest is okay.

Also YOU being uncomfortable is the ONLY consideration here. You don't owe him anything. Especially not tolerating his harassment.

Blast him on all your family social media. Especially his "wife you" in 24h texts.

You need to protect yourself. A man who texts a woman that is absolutely the type to become unhinged when their rejection finally registers (if he ever realizes he's been rejected).

[Asker]

Is him telling me he also has not felt this way with someone since 2017 a red flag too? I believe it is. At the moment I’m trying to avoid him. I don’t think he is getting a one and one. I don’t think he realizes that I’m rejecting him either.