Do I have a right to be upset? is this cheating?

[Kate5372]

I just found out my now-bf slept with another girl in the early stages of our relationship.

For context, we met on Tinder, had been on a few dates and talked all day every day. We had both deleted the app. He told me not to speak to other men and said that he wasn’t speaking to other women… and then he slept with one on a trip with his mate during that time. He said ‘I miss you’ everyday etc and kept asking for me to come. He posted a pic of the girl and him holding hands on his story and removed me from seeing it, having posted me in the background of his stories previously.

We never had the ‘will you be my girlfriend talk’ but always said how we’re not seeing other people. I’ve just found this out almost a year later. We were not official dating but I didn’t kiss any men during freshers because he told me not to. Meanwhile, he was sleeping with people at Edinburgh freshers.

[pink_blah]

he's being so sketch for that. But to be fair, you guys never officiated your “relationship” so i guess he saw that as a way to keep his “options open”. Like just because you do boyfriend and girlfriend activities with someone doesn't mean you guys are necessarily dating yk. Like it was weird of him to tell you not to speak to other guys while he on the other hand is talking to other girls. Also, this might be controversial but, I feel like when you're in a talking stage with someone you're basically just getting to know them. Your options should be open. you’re not in a relationship with them so its not like you're being dishonest with them by talking to someone else. But once you're in a relationship with a person its obviously cheating if you have a talking stage as well. But I feel like if your guys never confirmed your “relationship” at the time, then was it really a relationship to begin with? I dont exactly agree with your bf’s actions but i hope you understand what i mean. !

[Kate5372]

Yes this is the answer I was looking for tbh and exactly what I think. But I still think it’s wrong

[pink_blah]

@Kate5372 yea i definitely agree that its wrong, i dont completely know how to feel about it tho

[Fanfare690]

You have all the right to be upset. And kick him to the curb while you're at it. He's a liar

[Billlewis]

Yes, ma'am, I think you should be upset with him, and that if he hopes to continue his arguably undeserved status as your boyfriend, you should make him earn that privilege anew.

[Anonymous]

You most certainly do have a right to be pissed.

[butterly248]

Yeah. I'm so sorry :(

[In_Trance]

Yea it is