Initially, when two people start dating, is the GUY supposed to start the conversations and/or ask the girl out for the dates?

[A_Gentleman]

[OlderAndWiser]

For my generation, if I wanted a date with a girl, I asked her to join me for dinner. And I have no social anxiety and can carry on a conversation easily, so I took charge and that made it easier for her. Women of my generation want a man who takes charge so I simply demonstrated my abilities even with our first date and immediately started scoring points (unless there was no chemistry between us.)

For younger people, there are no rules on this subject. The only rule I suggest is this: if you want a date with a girl and she hasn't already approached you, take charge and approach her. You've got nothing to lose. . . and maybe she's looking for a take-charge guy, too.

[236color]

Supposed to, well there is no longer a prohibition on the woman taking the initiative, but it is still the more expected and common way things are done. A woman MIGHT ask you out and/or start a conversation with you, but you could grow old and lonely waiting for it. I understand, rejection is scary and painful, but women are attracted to confidence, and it's less likely they're going to feel compelled to approach someone that can't even talk to them. If you wander around this site you'll find that girls do consider approaching guys, but they're afraid of rejection too. Add to that the long standing expectation they they are the pursued not the pursuer and expecting to have her take the risk is like expecting to win a multi-million dollar lottery, sure it could happen, but it's not a realistic retirement plan.

[Angxl3120]

Girls are not so sure as of me that I always have a fear of getting rejected or anything else. From what I read so do guys have fear. I would say mutual efforts from both have been a better option for me.

As I had a guy in my classroom I didn't certainly liked him but he had a nice personality.

We reached our school early and it was just us in the locker area it was around 30 mins I could see him be scared to start a conv so i made it easier by dropping my handbag and he came to pick it up and so our conversation started.

We dated for 5-6 months it was really nice but he had to shift to another contry and didn't want me to keep waiting for him or have a long distance relationship so we had to move on.

[Ozanne]

Times have changed and either or can do the asking and initiating. Usually there are some body language cues or some other hints that the person is interested, and then the other person -- if they pick up on them -- can go from there.

Both men and women have said they like the opposite side to do the asking. Well of course! It takes the pressure off of them now, doesn't it? :D Both sides risk rejection, and both sides aren't sure how to approach it. I think people should eliminate such complications and find friendly ways to be around someone, use some light humour, and not feel so devastatingly humiliated if the person declines.

[Giddyup]

After reading your comment, there would be no reason for me to provide my opinion. Yours are spot on IMHO. There should be a mic drop button or something here, because you earned that!

[ohsheeT]

How much do you like her

If you don't really like her, then No

But if you really like her? Hello
Whatever it takes
Sometimes we have to work for what we want.

[Anonymous]

I am absolutely sick of hearing this.
Ultimately a lot of women would prefer the guy to do it, since that's just the traditional way to go. It's like holding the door open for someone to enter a restaurant, except if they decide not to go in, it's embarrassing for a bit.
I like the way a friend once told me... she said "Whoever has the crush should probably make it known rather than suffer in silence. Men or women, doesn't matter."
And while I loosely agree with that idea, I'm shy as hell, and I spend a lot of time single because, well... I simply don't make the first move. I won't even send a DM first if someone matches with me on a dating app.
I will say women probably do appreciate when a guy makes a move, but it shouldn't be expected as a given.
You know the scumbags everyone hates? The players, and whatnot? They're never afraid to make the first move. And so, in an effort of defiance, I like to remain silent unless spoken to.

[Fireguy17]

Does it matter who asks whom out?

If a female is interested in some one they should ask them out, same as with guys.

You are adults, it's time for people to start acting like one.

How many missed connections have there been that could have ended in a great relationship because someone was waiting for the other person to make the first move.

What's the worst thing that could happen, you get rejected.

Big deal, it happens.

[Anonymous]

honestly, it's 2023. do whatever you want. no more games. no more waiting. no more beating around the bush. just be blunt, honest, and out there or you'll just waste time. and who wants that?

[ProbablyClueless]

Women have definitely gotten bolder about that stuff in recent years, but most would still prefer that the man take initiative.

[JosyJosy]

Nope. Who wants shit to happen, makes a move to get things going.

[Nylife20j]

The woman has to win the guys heart in order to be with them. That man can get a woman within 24 hours of his day.

[kukukuku323]

In this modern post-feminist world it's "supposed" to be either or.
But the reality is it's still the guy doing all of the work.

[OddBeMe]

I’m surprised conversational etiquette isn’t taught anymore. Both parties are responsible in a tet-a-tet convo. Think of it as tennis.

[Anonymous]

unless you want to be a virgin your whole life


the reason im a virgin as of right now is because of social anxiety, im scared to talk to girls and ask girls out

[Opinion Owner]

i won't be a virgin my whole life

[Anonymous]

That's what they say. I don't ascribe to that. I'm a feminist I think women should bear equal responsibility in this.

[BarryLiverstone]

Nope. Either person can initiate

[Jkgordon]

Yep it’s the law of nature

[jimmy2]

I let women first so I can see how she looks

[Anonymous]

Yes.

[driven159]

It doesn't matter.