What does it mean when a man says “I don’t have time for a relationship but if it leads to one I’m not fighting it”?

[Anonymous]

[Anonymous]

He’s not directly looking for a relationship, but is probably fine with something casual and if he meets someone that he clicks with, he won’t be opposed to start something with that person.

[Anonymous]

Translation = He will have sex with you and will do some of the stuff that makes you think a relationship will happen. But it never will. He will give you mixed signals and do some boyfriend stuff but will never fully commit.

[genericname85]

honestly i don't think that he's opposed to fully committing. he may just genuinely be too busy at the moment.

[Asker]

@genreicname85 yeah he’s definitely busy he’s a firefighter/Emt. I just don’t want to be dragged through the mud again

[genericname85]

Well if you don't wanna be dragged through the mud again, it may be a good idea to avoid someone who's saying he's wonky with commitment. But then again someone who promises you to commit may just lie to you so at least that guy seems to be honest on first glance

[Asker]

Yeah I do enjoy the honesty lol I kind of stepped back with the texting everyday though , just want to think about the situation but going to see if he’s still up for what we were supposed to do Friday and see what happens from there. Asking him will probably give me a more clear mind of what I should do here lol

[genericname85]

i guess it comes back to the question: do you value commitment over honesty or the other way around? i'd rather have the situation where the girl tells me that her life plans changed and that she doesn't want me to be part of it anymore than a girl who fucks other dudes behind my back without ever telling me

[genericname85]

it means he's interested but he can't commit the time that he feels would be neccessary to properly get to know you.

[thegreenyogi]

It literally means that he's not actually actively on the look out for a long term relationship but if it happens he'll let it happen. Basically a metaphor for " I'm going with the flow".

[Blueeyes81]

I've learned they are trying to let you down without sounding like a dick/bitch.

[Asker]

Not really sure about that lol ever since our first hang out he’s been hinting at initiating things but wants me to always make the first move and it’s such a turn off to me

[Blueeyes81]

See where it goes. Generally if someone says they aren't looking for a relationship, they mean it. If they say they aren't looking for a relationship but want to continue seeing you. It still means they don't want a relationship with you but like you enough to have around. You just don't check all their boxes.

[Asker]

Yeah I’m just giving the situation space I feel like I scared him by asking him what he wants but I was just genuinely confused because he initiated our first date and then it’s just kind of been eh with him wanting to take things further. He practically waits until the end of our hang out to initiate kissing , it’s just so awkward and juvenile. He is kind of younger than me, I learned he just turned 24 so I don't know if that’s part of it

[Asker]

Hang outs*

[Danny_dan92]

Means he’s not looking for it but isn’t opposed to it

[hammeronfire]

It means whatever happens happens. Maybe he doesn’t have feelings for anyone but if it develops he a not going to fight those feelings.

[sheikalana]

Means he's not interested in a commitment.

[jahaims]

He is immature and flakey

[Asker]

Yeah I feel like I’m just not cut out for relationships lol I feel like guys always over set what they are actually looking for by setting up dates lol like he’s the one that set the tone for it and made it seem like he wanted a relationship

[jahaims]

You just need to get better at reading between the lines.

[Asker]

Well he’s the one that asked me out to begin with and then is weird about making advances / hanging with me lol there was a day where he was hinting at hanging with me but wanted me to ask him lol and if his motive was not wanting a relationship, not sure why he asked me out on a date in the first place

[Asker]

But I stopped communicating with him because the hinting at wanting to initiate things with me but not going through with it is such a turn off lol

[Kingofkings1992]

Exactly what it sounds like