"I don't have time for a relationship"... true or excuse?

[marie887]

My ex and I dated for a year and a half. We broke up several months ago.. mostly due to our arguments of him not having enough time for me (he's recently gotten more busy with school, full time job and organizations). We never stopped seeing each other off and on. Within the last month, over his winter break, we have been basically dating without the label. Spending 3-4 nights together a week, going on dinner dates, etc. He even invited me to visit his grandparents for a weekend. He's also already planning Valentines day. However, school started back up last week and he's warning me he doesn't have time for a relationship. He wants to keep doing what we've been doing, just no label because he's "too busy" and he's only going to get "more busy". I can't help but feel like it's an excuse for some other reason. Am I wasting my time? Or do I give him to space he needs and prove to him that I can handle him being busy?

[Versiah]

I've got two opinions on this. He's either using you because he finds you convenient with him having a lot on he probably doesn't have time to go out find a girl who's only wanting a casual relationship to meet his needs but there you are already showing willing he just needs to say and do the right things to keep you interested but not put a label on it so he can drop you when ever he's done using you.
Or the other opinion is that he cares about you still but knows he isn't able to spend the amount of time your asking for and doesn't want the Agro and stress it caused being in a relationship so he's found a medium that suites him
If I was in your shoes the first thing I would do is have a good old chat to myself and decide whether I could handle being with someone who I won't see a lot of at least until school finishes and who won't put a label on our relationship until at least then. if I decided I could then I would need to know two things about the type of relationship i would have with my ex the first being are we exclusive the second being that do we both see us having a future together is what we have ever going to lead to us being back together in a relationship once either I've proven I can handle spending less time together or once schools over and he has more time to commit. If I know the answer to or I speak to him and find out the answer to either of them or both of them is no then I would end it. there both signs your being played and as hard as it is it's better End it now. I've been there being played by a ex you still have feelings for will only result in you getting hurt far more then walking away now will hurt.
I hope you manage to work it out

[AriadneSky]

why would yo want him if it already did not work k bc you need more attention and he's only getting busier? he's expecting it to be an issue, so he doesn't want to do it. why not date someone who is happy to be with yo the way you want?

there's a difference between not having enough time and not wanting to even if you did have time... it should not turn into an argument if he wanted to but couldn't.

[eruru]

you're wasting you're time... its an excuse he's just getting whatever he can from this as he's looking for another thing... esp with school coming up.

the moment a man tells you as the woman that he's too busy for you then trust me he doesn't want to invest anything in you... you're better of finding someone else.

don't try n decipher his words, he's the one who's supposed to be doing that, its tough but take off your heels n run!!

[Professor_Zoom]

It's an excuse. If you really want to be with someone, even if you are busy as hell and can't spend a lot of time with them, you will find a way. You will make the little bit of time you have mean something.

[TiredGirl123]

If you are ok with seeing someone without a label, go for it. However, if you are wanting a relationship with a label, you have to value your needs and find someone else. If someone says they don't want a label, don't be surprised when they don't act serious about you.

Personally, it sounds like he is just making excuses to not be serious with you. If a guy wants a girl he will find time for her.

[whatiswrongwithppl]

No label is so pointless the only reason for someone to say that is to act single when they have the chance and not feel bad its justifying what they intend on doing or want to do

[Turquoise46]

3-4 nights a week is a LOT. I never saw anyone more than once a week, maybe twice if it was a holiday or something. I think he's just being fair to warn you that this constant contact can't continue indefinitely.

[Bandit74]

I think it's an excuse. If you REALLY want someone and don't want to let them get away then you will at least try to make some time for them.

[writing_essays]

Its not an excuse. He is busy. If you can't accept that you should leave and find somebody who has more time for you - maybe a video game loser with no job or career or volunteer positions at clubs.

[jman46241]

Sounds like no strings attached.. If you feel like you're wasting your time, then you have a decision to make.

[spencify]

If I were in a relationship I'd make time no matter how busy I am. Sounds like you might not be a priority.

[dolemite68]

it's an excuse, just because ur both busy during the week doesn't mean u can't still be in a relationshipo and just hang out when ur free

[levantine99]

with all the things he is doing its a pretty good excuse yes.

[JayGarrick]

It's an excuse. If they want to date someone, they would make time

[John_Doesnt]

It's true that women are attention hogs and selfish about their own needs. Very true indeed.

[Absolute_Revenge]

I don't have time for a relationship... with any American woman, simply because she is rude, angry and hostile whenever i treat her as a person whenever im looking to get acquainted with them.

[CodyKnight]

I can't say for every guy but in my case it is true, I have school, tests, work, family and my health to take care of. So it is not an excuse in my case

[whatiswrongwithppl]

Your 15. Lol. Busy or not that's laughable you can't say relationship. Your a child

[lumberman9]

It could be an excuse even busy guys are married and have kids

[Anonymous]

as usual, i bet he had to make the first move and be the initiator

[Ayshea]

I think you're wasting your time.

[ChrisJJ]

Honestly depends. Mostly with age.

[Anonymous]

If you want you will always have time for it.