How do I get more 2nd dates?

[Anonymous]

I've been single over 6 years now. I've had a ton of 1st dates only. Usually both parties do not equally like eachother!! They like me and I'm not interested or vs versa... Even getting just 1 date seems so challenging. I don't use dating apps solely. I have spirt hobbies and I attend many Meetup events. I haven't had 1 guy ask me out at an event, despite being flirty and cute.

Dating apps, even if we both connect and I believe they like me too I hear nothing. Recently had a decent 1st date we decided for a 2nd, been a week and have not heard from him. How does one get more 2nd dates?

[Oliverlogan263]

Uhh not gonna lie, seems like you're having some bad luck. Dating is hard enough these days without all those 1st dates going nowhere. Some tips that might help -

First off, don't put too much pressure on getting a 2nd date right away. Guys can sense that and it's not attractive. Play it cool after the 1st meeting and let them come to you a bit.

When you're out meeting people through hobbies or whatever, really listen to them and ask questions so they know you care. Smile and make eye contact too so they see you're interested.

Also maybe try changing up what you're doing - like if the meetup thing isn't working could try a different activity? Or if the dating apps aren't, then don't rely on them so much. Try meeting organically through friends too.

And don't get too down on yourself. Dating is a numbers game, you just gotta keep putting yourself out there. The right person will come around! Just stay positive and have fun with it. Hope this helps - let me know if you try any of this.

[Asker]

Wow that's the best advice ever! Thank you and fron such a young guy, I'm impressed. I will follow your advice. Yes, everyone can sense your energy do being cool and letting go is best after the 1st date. Cheers mate

[Static_In_The_Attic]

As for love it works in mysterious ways & I always say if you want to meet people you have to get out & greet people. In life if you never try you will never know & as for me I rather try & fail rather than not try at all. As for being single you are not alone & as for me I’m single & accepting applications & as of the moment I’m single because I simply choose to be & if I happen to meet a lovely lucky lady & we click I’ll welcome a relationship all the way. As for you it’s been six years & above you stated you had tons of dates so let me ask you the following.

1. Are you waiting for guys to ask you out or are you asking them out?

2. Are you the kind of girl that is waiting for marriage to have sex?

3. Do you have kids?

[Asker]

1. I've asked guys out at Meetup events. 1 guy we clicked but I was always the one reaching out! I had to cut ties. Also when I ask out a gut it never works in my favor!! I'm rejected or they cancel.

2. Not waiting for sex b4 marriage, slso not freely giving it to men. I need to have an intellectual & Emotional connection. My fun hookup days have been done for many years.

3. No kids. I look way younger for my age. I'm 5'4 140 br hair and eyes. More cute then hot.

I do get out and mingle and flirt and give guys green flags. They either are too scared or like me but not enough.

[Asker]

Thanks for responding

[Static_In_The_Attic]

It’s my pleasure & I hope you find that special someone & I hope life brings you everything you always wanted.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

As for me I tried online dating & if truth be told it’s a freak show out there & offline dating is much better. I tried meetup groups & it’s always the same people & a lot of people in the groups aren’t there to date. When it comes to dating sometimes I feel like I have a better chance of getting hit by lightning on a submarine however lightning can strike.

[Static_In_The_Attic]

I like how you ask guys out & I wish more girls were like you.

[Asker]

Online dating is a freak show. Example just matched with a guy he called and asked if I wanted to meet at a park this was at 9pm. I said no that was notsafe, he ended up debating that its no different then getting drunk with a stranger 🤣 I had to end the conversation.
Meetups are the same people, maybe join more groups... being friends first and then dating is my Ideal and Meetup allows you to see the same people over and over again. Maybe it could lead to more 🤔

Your analogy of getting hit my lighting I'd funny. I feel the same way. I suppose all we can do is become the best verso8pf ourselves in hopes of meeting another on your level. Good luck!

[Static_In_The_Attic]

Friends first is the way to go & it’s wonderful when relationships start that way. On the flip side I love when I meet someone & there is a spark. It’s like it’s so unreal & it was meant to be but as they say if it’s too good to be true it’s probably not & it sucks when that happens.

[BarryLiverstone]

Stop the apps. Meet through friends and if the first date is bad just try the 2nd

[Asker]

Yea I've been on and off the apps for years! When I'm off it's no different, actually less dating.

[BarryLiverstone]

Don’t get back on. But like I said expect 3 dates.. even if you don’t like him on the first date try again

[Danny_dan92]

Pay close attention to the fine details. It will give you the answer to your question

[In_Trance]

Be more selective of your first dates