How can you get a second date?

[Noobdrew]

I've had many first dates (most from tinder or facebook) they ware all walk around a park/city type of date. What can I do to get a second date?

[Anonymous]

Hard to say just based on that information, but my advice would be this:

1. Maybe do a different type of date. I'm not saying you have to spend tons of money on a date, because I really don't think you have to. Fancy dinners can be intimidating, but maybe try something fun. Bowling? An arcade? If you want to stick to the park thing, maybe bring a blanket, a frisbee and grab lunch. You can picnic in the park and then play frisbee together. In my opinion, fun dates are the best, and they leave room for some flirty bets. My boyfriend and I went to a place similar to Dave & Buster's for our second date, and we had a ton of fun, and made flirty little bets. Good ice breaker.

2. I actually think it's important to text the night after the first date. You can frame it like, "Hey, hope you made it home safe. I had a great time today and would love to do it again sometime?" If she seems open to it, tell her you'll think of some fun things to do and will text her later that week to make plans. Don't text her all day everyday. After she says she wants to go out again, leave it alone for a couple days, then text her on Wednesday to make plans for the upcoming weekend. I only say this because you mentioned below that you think you come off as needy after the first date, so less contact might be good in the beginning, so long as she knows you're still interested/not playing games.

3. Tinder, at least as far as I know, is mostly for hookups. It sounds like you're looking for more than a hookup, so maybe try a different site? Hinge, OKCupid, Coffee Meet Bagel are all probably better options. And yes, you will likely have to pay to get the most out of these sites, but the paid OKC option worked for me! Met my boyfriend on there after just a couple weeks on the app, and we're still happily together to this day, almost 1.5 years later.

[Noobdrew]

Im not from America and tinder isn't mainly used for hookups and OKCupid is very dead around here too so tinder is the only option but everything else you said is true

[Holly_04]

You should have a date in a resturant rather than just a walk in the park. It'll make your date be able to get to know you better and if you're lucky, they'll ask you on a second date if they're interested. A walk in the park can be nice but it's also distracting and too lighthearted. If you really want to see that person again, you'd need to become closer to them by sitting down and getting to know them. A walk in the park is more of a 3rd of 4th date when you know the person and just want to be in their presence

[Noobdrew]

Yea I think so too I am just scared to put too much effort into someone i just met on tinder, but I did have a coffee date with one girl and it was way better than the walk around dates

[Holly_04]

If you're not willing to put on the effort for someone you "just met on tinder" you'll never get a second date. You need to have the mindset that you could be sitting at a dinner table in the middle of the city with your future husband/wife who you just so happened to meet on tinder. If you don't put in effort for the first date, why would they bother to ask for a second?

[Noobdrew]

I mean sure you have a point it could be my future wife but chances are its not and i think dinner dates are super hardcore when it comes to dates, im open to coffee dates tho and thats what im gonna do next time i can get one

[Holly_04]

Well if you're the most comfortable with coffee dates, they're much better than walks in the park. It's much more intimate and you'll learn a lot more about the person from dates like that! Good luck

[WA786K]

Heck no, 😂😂😂😂 If she likes you she will want to do anything for any little time just to go on the park and get a little snack. Red Pill

[WA786K]

@Holly_04 fuc no I ain't spending money on a fancy date to later get ghosted by her. Lol times have changed imagine a dinner date ain't happening especially in these days. @Noobdrew id inform you should take a Red Pill Never take a girl on a fancy date just free dinner tickets. And if your lucky y may get a second date but she will want expensive food that meets her standards at this point be Alpha not a beta 😂

[Holly_04]

Effort goes both ways. It doesn't need to be a fancy dinner. As op said, a coffee date. Therefore she doesn't need to pay for both people and only herself. If the girl isn't interested, that's just tough, but at least op tried. A walk in the park is not going to get her anywhere unless the date is into that kinda stuff. I'm speaking from a single lesbians POV. If I went on a date and all we did was walk around the park, I'd ghost her. There's not effort in that. At least in a coffee shop, they would be able to sit and talk properly without weather or people interrupting them

[WA786K]

@Holly_04 For Us men it isn't worth dating especially Corona has hit pretty hard, a lot of men have just been going there own way MGTOW. Dating in these days is just a waste of time. Time is precious and its a risk to invest on some one on a date to later get ghosted or even black mailed to getting high end designer clothes just to be with her. Yet a true, sad story to endure. No one wants to be hurt best if men just go there own way at this point saves a life.

[Holly_04]

Not everyone feels that dating is worthless though. Some people are excited to date after corona is over

[RealMarek]

I think meeting for coffee is probably better than a walk for a first date. It allows the two of you to face each other and have more eye contact while talking. If the date goes well, you could tell her you had a good time and would like to see her again. I would also send a text message a couple hours after the date letting her know you had a good time, thanking her, and (if you didn’t already mention it) letting her know you would like to see her again. Then a couple days later you can ask her if she would like to do something with you (your choice, a walk or outdoor activity might be good) for another date.

[Mofunfour20]

For one, never take dating advice from women. First impressions are better received IN PERSON. I quit online dating because you cheat yourself out of giving and receiving a genuine first impression. Tell her what you're looking for in a relationship, if she likes what you say she will want to go on another date. If a woman isn't into me id rather excercise other options than to waste PRECIOUS TIME

[Interstate]

Treat them properly the first time and provide an APPROPRIATE first date. Do what sounds APPROPRIATELY fun on the first date and go from there. A casual dinner and maybe a game of miniature golf afterwards is a great date. Just relax to make the two of you comfortable, and the two of you will have a great time. Granted, that is assuming the two of you have a lot in common.

[Anonymous]

Ask her. Maybe a day after the date text her and say something like ‘hey I had a great time with you the other day, would you want to hang out again?” And see what she says if she says no or ignored you don’t take it personal.

[Noobdrew]

I think I fuck up by becoming needy after the date like I'm gonna wait like 2-3 days and ask her how her day is or something like that and try to have a chat with her and if the chat's going ok I ask for a second date but they always make an excuse to no go on said date. So I give them space and ask them out after but they always end up ghosting me.

[Puppystarfish23]

Be yourself if they don't like that then there not the one. Also don't be over the top on the date just keep things casual and talk like you'd talk to a friend and see were things go from there.

[exitseven]

After the first date call her (don't text ) and just say it was fun and maybe she would like to do something later. You need to step up your game. If first date was go for a walk second date you provide a nice picnic lunch.

[slatyb]

Ask for one? How many first dates have you had? How did they go? It's usually pretty obvious whether a woman would like to see you again. If you can't tell, she's probably not interested.

[Browneye57]

Tinder or FB? Ya gotta be joking.
"What are you doing next Saturday?"

Where is your game dood?

[Noobdrew]

I have no game, I don't think I've even hit on someone IRL its just weird, like am I supposed to just go to the cute girl at the bus stop and hit on her

[Browneye57]

Start with 'hi', or 'hello'.
Go here and read at least the first two years' blogs by Rollo: www.therationalmale.com

Women are just regular people - you have to strike up a convo if you're going to have any chance of getting to know them. Sure, half of them will say you're 'creepy', so what? You'll get ten turn-downs for every one that responds in kind.

And you need a man-makeover, so go here for some tips: www.theartofmanliness.com

And never forget, YOU ARE THE PRIZE! So start acting like it.

[Noobdrew]

"Women are just regular people"
So that would mean that I should talk to random guys on the street if I think they are interesting. They are just regular people right.
I don't know if you will agree but I would talk to someone like that if i had something to ask or say, like if I were lost or was looking for something.

[Browneye57]

You need to work on your game son. There's no two ways about it.
There's no law stopping you from TALKING to ANYONE.
What do guys have to do with it? I thought we were talking about the ladies. If you want to strike up a convo, try 'hi', or 'hello'. Or even better, ask an innocuous question. You're sanding in line at the coffee shop, "Do you know if that new Ethiopian blend is any good?"

[shalt]

Do something more then walk, the most fruitful relationships had first dates that flowed perfectly without thought, but if anything, try dinner, and nice walk, just don't try hard, it creates anxiety under pressure

[es20490446e]

In real life is easier. Because if they date you to begin with, it means they are generally willing to date.

[Anonymous]

Make sure the girl has fun on the first date and build attraction with her. Then she'll say yes to date number 2.

[Anonymous]

If you have a second date it means you failed by first one. lol

[Jaylaaa2000]

By not boring her and offending her

[Joecat1959]

Ask




…,,,

[Noobdrew]

ask what

[msc545]

Spend some money on the first date.

[Noobdrew]

lol yea last time i played for a lunch date, the date went way better after we had lunch

[msc545]

See? Women respond well to money and food.

[Noobdrew]

yea i think it makes me feel better too

[msc545]

Cool - go for it!

[Twalli]

Be interesting

[princeofromance]

Ask for one.

[Anonymous]

Pay for it...

[Noobdrew]

lol yea last time i played for a lunch date, the date went way better after we had lunch

[Opinion Owner]

Sweet...