How do you feel about men that offer having drinks as a date?

Question

glennos89 · Accepted Answer

I don't see what's wrong with it 🤷‍♂️

I'm a pretty shy guy and dating feels often very awkward and uneasy for me. Feeling awkward or uneasy prevents me from being myself the way I am and it gives me a hard time opening up to be able to show myself for who I am.

A few drinks (not getting wasted) can actually help me to feel more comfortable and more relaxted and I can open up myself expressing myself the way I am when I feel comfortable to let my guard down.

That will make the date not only more relaxed for myself but also for the girl I'm dating and wether it will lead to anything or not.. at least we can both have a good time getting to know eachother a little bit better 🤷‍♂️

Ps... I have autism and that's why I have problems connecting to people if I don't know them. And I'm also against having any type of physical contact on a first date, besides giving a hug or a kiss on the cheek. So getting a drink is purely for the benefits of being more open to express mys true self and not to get a easy access of getting laid!

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

I would be concerned that a lady thought I had a plan to get her intoxicated and then take advantage of her. That would never be my plan, but if she had that mistaken belief, then she may never accept my offer of a first date, and I would never know he reason why she rejected me.

My standard first date is to ask her to meet me for dinner at a very nice restaurant that has a great reputation, great food and atmosphere, and valet parking. She can exit her car at the front door and hand the key to the valet. She meets me in the restaurant, we have a nice dinner, and by the time we are finished, she knows me enough to accept my invitation to the lounge that is part of the restaurant, and we continue the date over one drink.

I walk her outside, she hands her claim check to the valet, and hopefully I get a simple good night kiss while we are waiting on her car. She leaves with the understanding that I act like a gentleman and is much more likely to agree to a second date when I call her in the next few days.

meetkitty123 · Accepted Answer

With a guy who is new to me I wouldn't go for alcohol drinks but coffee would be a great date.

With somebody I've been dating for a while I would be perfectly okay with going out for alcoholic drinks. In fact this weekend I asked my boyfriend out for a drink. He was stressed out and I knew a drink would help calm him down long enough for me to be able to calm him further.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Accepted Answer

These are the men that if you say “Nah, but I know a good restaurant we can eat at instead” they’re disappointed. They’re not buying drinks to get to know you, they’re buying a moment of vulnerability they can take advantage of.

Bethany22 · Answer

It's a tradition. I don't think it's a bad sign or good sign. After that date, he can take you out for dinner if he still likes you.

coachTanthony · Answer

Coffee or drinks for a first date is fine. Getting to know someone is the most important. the drinks is just a supporting character on the date.

OfMiceandMen · Answer

I prefer not to go for any alcoholic type drinks on a date. The reason is kind of three-fold:

1) If I suggest we go for drinks, it's kind of creepy - like I'm trying to get her drunk, even though that's not the case.

2) I understand the whole concept that having a drink relaxes a person and makes them more sociable/chatty, but a person should not need a drink of courage to be themselves.

3) I've often found that a drink or two can also increase the BS level during a date and I'd rather the person have their faculties about them and just be upfront and honest.

lightbulb27 · Answer

I feel it's one of the worst social constructs ever devised. Consume a liquid nerve toxin that softens your minds defenses and weakens your body, while in the grasp of someone that potentially can overpower and may be totally selfish, if not outright dangerous. And to boot... it costs money. Tears...

Absolute stupidity! Cheap, slime... the oldest of trickery... and lame!

I'm not going to fault stupid men for being stupid, or selfish men for being selfish. They are whom they are. I will suggest parents raise their males to higher character.

But if the women go for it, it's their issue and I don't want to hear their belly aching. Unfortunately women are also poorly trained and unwise, and many fall victim.

Wisen up!

Id say the same to men, don't touch a drunk female. don't even think about it... run for your life.

LazerBean · Answer

A coffee date is fine. But if the drinks he is referring to are alcoholic, it means he was very poorly raised indeed.

Shamalien · Answer

I’m indifferent. Personally I’ve never offered to go to a bar on a first date; I’m a little more traditional, but to each their own. I like to go to a nice restaurant, nothing super fancy but like good mid tier, and I will usually order one drink with my meal; occasionally a second if it feels right, then we will share dessert and go on a walk or a drive somewhere, maybe to a nice lookout point or maybe she’ll go home depending on how comfortable she feels. I’ll kiss her if it feels right and I absolutely will not try any sexual advances beyond kissing and holding eachother.

Nikki1989 · Answer

I am not much of a drinker. I would rather go out for a nice meal.

Erin2003 · Answer

Why not accept the offer and then order a non-alchoholic drink, say tonic water with a lime wedge? You can remain alert, have a conversation, then decide whether to extend the date or end it without being under the influence. If he objects, then leave. That way you stay in control.

provokeesmokee · Answer

Eh.

To me it shows a lack of imagination and probably a bad fit.

A better date in my opinion is coffee, lunch, a hike, rock climbing, or something more interesting than drinking alcohol. Plus I don't drink, or at least I'm cutting down a lot.

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

I like it as a second or third date but not a first.

Some bars have you sit side by side and on the first date I'm usually not comfortable being that close to someone. It's a pretty big gamble particularly as the risk is having to sit very close to someone you might find unattractive for an hour.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

I don't like it and will offer to pay for it instead because I have witnessed my fair share of 'nice' guys so I don't feel comfortable about it. It's not a nice gesture anymore and treated more like a transaction, a trade.
You don't know how it's going to work out and a drink won't help with any chemistry. It's a waste of time and effort.

Yannae · Answer

Normal. If you're not okay with it, you're a red flag to me. It's all about getting to know the person and learning if they're right for you or not. You don't need drinks, but you're going to talk so drinks are welcome. I'll pay. If you're not okay with drinks as a date, I don't think you are interested in actually getting to know me as a partner and only look to get something for free.

Tiishyy · Answer

I don’t see anything wrong with that, you just have to know your limit and to watch you drink/ cover your drink throughout the night.

It’s like asking someone if they want to get coffee, it’s just a casual thing.

nonyabeez-wax · Answer

Drinks as an alcohol or drinks as in there's this really cool cafe down the street? Alcohol, is a red flag, might be looking to get laid. Other drinks, he's looking to hangout and get to know you.

electromagnetic · Answer

My partner and I go for drinks every once in a while. Although I don’t drink, it gives us a reason to spend time outside and alway from technology and other. We do consider them dates as we still take time to dress nicely.

RavVid · Answer

How much do you want us to spend on you? The bar bill always exceeds the food bill. I think offering to take you out and get you drunk is extremely generous of us.

Staximus · Answer

Where I grew up, if you ask a woman or she asks you to go get some drinks that basically means "want to go get drunk and maybe fuck later?" I don't expect sex if a woman wants to go get some drinks, though.

Blueeyes81 · Answer

I'd think that they need a little liquid courage, have a problem, have shady intentions or all of the above.

madhatters4 · Answer

i think it's a little uninspired but it is a good opportunity to get to know each other. alcohol and hopefully make it a little easier to chat without feeling as nervous or restrained.

Jdodkfndosn · Answer

I think it's primarily done because they might have friends out too which gives them the opportunity to either bounce or bring you along as he shifts focus on them should he quickly determine he isn't interested.

colaman94 · Answer

I'm guessing women who drink appreciate the free drink or two. I for one don't drink, so I would rather date a woman on a coffee date. 🥳

summiter · Answer

I guess it is ok but it could just be a cup of coffee also. If the guy is doing it just for sex.. that is wrong.

Paris13 · Answer

NP. It's a Way to Get to Know One Another and can Be a Cheap Night in Case a Fright Night. lolxxoo

exitseven · Answer

If you know that she likes to drink it is a good idea. If not it makes you look cheap

Monalisa77 · Answer

Thats my ideal first date lol i couldnt deal with anything more than that atm

scentoflavender · Answer

I like whiskey. I like dates. Seems like a win win to me.

LunarEclipse433 · Answer

I think it is perfectly fine. Adults can drink socially and know when to stop. Kids drink and get hammered. One or two drinks may just take the new nervous edge off. Plus it is usually a public place in which the female should feel safer

shades777 · Answer

its a gesture, but if you feel that you have to lead with it, then well i guess thats how you socialize l, its not a right or wrong thing its merely a preference, personally i rather not buy anyone anything thats a stranger

RedInnocent68 · Answer

I think it’s more appropriate in a group or work setting where there’s an easy out. One on one I feel it’s a bit douchey for a first date.

nawtee_me · Answer

There is nothing wrong with it. It may take a drink to become more comfortable about getting to know someone and letting them get to know you as well.

SUMAIREBRAHIM · Answer

As traditional i don't have any issue guys buying stuff for girls but if they don't know girl and go up giving free drinks for attention... SIMP it's creepy and cheap behaviour (i find them desperate)

MikeTheBartender · Answer

I'm a bartender, it's the first commandment, though shall offer drinks on the first date.

love_conquers_lust · Answer

Don’t drink. I want us both completely sober so we can judge each other unimpaired.

msc545 · Answer

I don't drink, but even if I did, drinks as a date seems too much like an interview. I always opt for a very nice dinner.

LiamJHayden · Answer

That is something friends might go out and do. Does not sound like a date to me.

Avicenna · Answer

That's a bad idea.

JamesRandiDebates · Answer

I don't really understand the question. First date or later date? Starbucks for coffee followed by a BJ in the car is always the first date.

In_Trance · Answer

Unless you're a recovering alcoholic I don't see anything wrong with it

Iron_Man · Answer

It leads to come back to my place after

strateguy632 · Answer

common standard procedure.

katiesmuff · Answer

I think it is a pretty common thing to do.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

Isn't it usually like that half the time?

Miristheiss · Answer

Yes? What about them?

Anonymous · Answer

It’s fine. You’re just a stuck-up prude.

Redstang88 · Answer

What’s wrong with that?

Nifrayu · Answer

Sounds lame to me.

Anonymous · Answer

Nope.. Especially not at the early stage

LaLoba · Answer

Sign me up. I like drinks 🍸

Worst · Answer

Not sure

krin_m · Answer

Depends on the context.

Anonymous · Answer

I have no issues with that.

Simslover92 · Answer

I think it's fine.

Apple1996 · Answer

It's trashy

How do you feel about men that offer having drinks as a date?

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If a guy asks you for drinks is it romantic interest or possible dating interest? What do men think?

How do you feel about men that offer having drinks as a date?

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If a guy asks you for drinks is it romantic interest or possible dating interest? What do men think?

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