He asked me to pay for our next date. What should I do?

[Anonymous]

I’ve dated this Dutch man 2 times. The first two times we went to a bar and played pool ( and drinks), and I appreciated he offered to pay.

What kind of annoys me is he never really planned a date for us. He always started planning at the last minute. And when I mentioned ‘I’ll be really happy and feel cared if he can initiate and plan our next date before we meet.’

He replied ‘ Hahaha how about you plan one and pay the next one xD 😂’

I’m not sure what I should think of this. I don’t mind contribute, but this is the first time that a guy directly asked me to plan our date and pay for the next one.

What’s your thought on this? Does that mean he’s not that into me?

Thanks

Updates

6 mo

And he has paid for our first two dates, but we’ve only dated two times so far.

[Anonymous]

If you really like him then plan it. I like this because men are usually the ones put under pressure to plan the dates. Might sound easy sometimes but when it comes to planning a date women judge everything you do. Where you take them, how you open or don’t open the door for her, paying for the date, etc. So he has to get it right or she’s not going to want to date him again. I’d be excited if a girl planned a date for us. Would I really care where we went? No. I’d just be happy together. Take him where you’d want to go if he planned your ideal date. You know what you’d like so plan that same date. As for paying if it’s Dutch then it’s your turn to step up. I don’t get that still. Women wanted to be independent, make their own money, but a lot of them still want a man to make as much as them or more. They still expect him to pay.

[Massageman]

You are dealing with more than one issue. One is the "last minute thingy" where you feel you have no control.

Then he gives you the control of the date, but it comes with a price OF the date.

Not being there, I don't know if he is joking around or not.

You could always plan a low-budget date, maybe watching a marathon of a particular show you like with popcorn and drinks at home. If he still likes your company after that, he just might still be interested. It could be a test- or maybe not. You are the one who is there to tell.

[provokeesmokee]

Most people find it a bit boring or bothersome to plan even these sorts of meet ups. It sounds like you know what you want from a date, so it's reasonable to want you to plan it.

He also can't read your mind on what makes a good date.

Also, it's totally fair to split dates or alternate who pays. That's kinda normal nowadays.

[IslaTheWitch]

There were two dates, and he paid for them. It's not really important if he planned it or not. You met, and he paid. I think it's totally fair that now is your turn. If you want, you can plan it; feel free. And pay for it.

[Avcfhcic]

Relationships should be 50:50. You're both investing in each other so I feel like you should both be giving time and money to each other to be fair.
Probably not the most subtle of ways to say it to you 😂 but if you like the guy, put effort in too!

[Jasmin01]

I think you can pay next time. As long as he pays again afterwards, it seems only fair to me.

[Avcfhcic]

You're stunning

[Jonnywayne]

We no longer live in the 19th century. Today women are equal, or at least they should be. Then of course they can no longer expect the man to behave the same way as before. Of course, a woman these days has to be prepared to pay and not hope to always be kept free.

[godfatherfan]

You seem to think it is easy to figure out a date. Especially when the women just says "I will do whatever", but never really truly means that. So... yes, why don't you plan and pay for it. Or give him ideas of things to do.

[BoopBoopBeep]

That's how most of the world works. You pick the date you pay the cost for it.

[Iron_Man]

Just pay for the date and see how he handles himself in the future

[TheGuyYouCrave]

Don't pay. A man should pay. Why? Because a G does that. And us men should be Gs. If he is not, then he is likely going to make the relationship hard on you by shrugging responsibility.

[AmeerX]

🤣 God this is hilarious, there is this guy and then there is me who never would let a girl pay

[Anonymous]

Bloody Dutchmen!

https://www.youtube.com/embed/zcUs5X9glCc

[msc545]

God forbid, I think he wants you to practice some equality! The nerve of him!

[BarryLiverstone]

That’s normal, you can’t rely on him always paying

[boobliker]

if you like him pay up!

[exitseven]

I guess he wants to "Go Dutch".

[spartan55]

It was right there and you took it...😂😂😂

[Pohjolan]

Just go on a picnic if you are on a budget.

[Wise4myage]

Call him a cheap bastard.