Have you ever dated anyone with NPD (Narcissistic Personality Disorder)?

[Anonymous]

Please share your stories (could also be about a family member or friends) and how you managed to deal with them.

Sadly yes…

Not that I know of

Maybe

Other

[DryGermanGuy]

I had a colleague like that. She had to make anything and everything about her. It was really tiring.

[Asker]

I can imagine… I don't know how people tolerate them.

[bededazzle]

no but bpd. you have to have really really really strong boundaries

[Asker]

How was your experience with dating someone who has BPD?

And true about the boundary thing, I’m learning the hard way…

[bededazzle]

for me, it did not go well our last long, mainly because i have my own mental health issues. it can be done though. you just have to be really sure your own health and sanity are protected

[Asker]

Yeah, I also am not 100% mentally okay lol so I don't know if I’m up for it, but I think going through this is actually helping me find my voice and to learn to not tolerate getting pushed around

I’m glad you managed to get out of the relationship tho, I hope you’ll be able to find happiness elsewhere

[bededazzle]

well if she hadn’t dumped me i would have stick around. it was painful but i learned a lot about myself. i don’t think there’s anything wrong with dating an npd person, as long as you can handle it. it sounds like you are finding it s positive experience! i mean, we all have our problems. personality disordered people are deserving of love too. good luck :). ps you should find a support forum specifically for this issue

[Asker]

Would you consider the relationship to be toxic tho back then?

Yeah I think I definitely will start looking for a support group, been keeping it to myself all these times bcs I didn’t want to air dirty laundry but I think I definitely need an outsider’s perspective

[bededazzle]

well, it definitely wasn’t good for me, and i still wouldn’t have let it go if i had the choice, so it was pretty bad. tbh, it seems like many people in the relationships have unresolved issues, while the others are incredibly stable and choose to stay for whatever personal reason. i’m seriously not judging you in ANY way but just saying, do a real inventory of yourself about any unresolved issues, past traumas, etc. there is an element of danger. but whatever happens, as will all relationships, one learns, so it’s all good :)

[bededazzle]

also i hate to generalize, but if you’re still in the early stages of the relationship, there’sa chance that the “mask “ hasn’t come off yet and that more serious acting out could get worse. I don't know for sure, this is generalizing (and also true of all relationships lol) but it’s possible

[MemeSupreme]

my mom has it and i wouldn't be surprised if more of my family had it. people with it feel very intense emotions and are just complicated as fuck especially with empathy. very exhausting

i didn't talk to mine for years and only this year i agreed to it bc she's already started receiving help for it to change. it wasn't some bullshit of her being nice for 2 days and then showing her true colors but genuine. she still has issues but i see improvement in her like daily habits which is enough for me

don't ever be involved with someone with NPD unless they get help for it. even then you should know it can take like 4 years for some to improve a lot so it takes time.

[Asker]

Oh man… I can’t imagine having a parent with NPD, sounds really tough tbh. I’m proud of you for setting clear boundaries with her tho, I hope she’ll keep on getting better. Best wishes!

[slatyb]

Almost ruined my life.

[Asker]

Do share

[slatyb]

What's to say? It's a sadly common story. Both men and women can enter abusive relationships. Usually the reason is the same -- neglectful or abusive childhoods leading to an adult with no boundaries.

[Asker]

That’s the sad reality… my boyfriend came from an abusive childhood, I don’t think he realizes that he has a lot of unhealed wounds from his childhood that has affected his relationships

[bededazzle]

the sad reality is a lot of personality disordered people won’t do therapy, perhaps due to a sensitivity to criticism? I don't know. i know that facing these issues is a choice he’d have to make himself though. it is sad :(

[slatyb]

@bededazzle therapy was very helpful for me. I should have done for longer.

[bededazzle]

im really glad to hear that. it takes guts to tackle your problems. i should go back too lol

[DeeDeeDeVour]

I certainly would not.