A girl that I tried to know if she's available said I'm with someone "at the moment"?

[Anonymous]

To give a little context, I'm a very introvert and shy guy and wanted to speak with a girl that I see in my campus at uni, but she is always in a group, so I made her a little letter to give her personally, and I did! The letters was basically saying "I thought you were very cute and I would like the opportunity to know you" and also had my socials, but also said if it was a no to tell me just to know, she added me the next day I give the letter and she wrote me like "I'm with someone at the moment" and the words at the moment seem very weird for me, my friends and family think the same, wasn't more obvious if she said, I'm with someone dot? What do you think?

[Oliverlogan263]

Ah man, that "at the moment" thing is kinda weird. When a girl says she's with someone, she usually just leaves it at that you know? The "at the moment" makes it seem like maybe things aren't super serious with her guy or something.

I wouldn't read too much into it though. She did add you back so that's a good sign. Maybe she just wanted to let you down easy without fully shutting the door? Girls can be weird like that sometimes.

I'd say just play it cool for now. Chat with her casually on social media to get to know her better as a friend first before asking her out. That way if she does become single down the line, she'll already be comfy with you.

And don't bring up the "at the moment" thing - that might make it awkward. Just act like you're cool being friends and see what happens. She may open up to you more over time. But don't push it and come on too strong either. Let things develop naturally. You never know man, maybe down the road she'll be interested once she gets to know you better out of her friend group. Just play the long game!

[Asker]

Thank you a bunch for your comment! I really wanted to be friends with her, but after I thanked her for being honest, she didn't reply. But hey, I will not think about this stuff; we are going to see each other at uni, so things may change! Again, thank you so much man.

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem dude, happy I could give some perspective! And yeah, totally right to just leave it be for now since she hasn't responded again. Sometimes that's all the closure you need to know it's probably not meant to be more than a friendly hello if you pass on campus. Props to you for being respectful and confident putting yourself out there though - that's huge!

My advice would be keep focusing on your studies and interests, meet new people naturally through classes or clubs. An extrovert girl will come along who likes your vibe. And who knows, maybe Ms. At the Moment will notice from afar how chill and fun you are without trying hard. But for now, on to bigger and better! You got this man.

[Explorer91]

the "at the moment" is the tell. This is what I say when I am lying about a lot of things. Because it means when I want to say something else.. I made it clear it was something I was doing "at the moment" and well now im not.

[Asker]

Thank you for your comment! So why she used "at the moment"? Just to keep a distance right now but with a door open?

[Explorer91]

Pretty much. I use it as an open door.

[Anonymous]

Letters, socials?

Why are people so backward these days?

[Asker]

I really tried speaking to her personally, but she was only in groups and I suffer with social anxiety, so I give her a letter personally which was way easier for me. You need to respect my decision. It's also not my favorite option but it was the only that worked for me.