For the new year, how can I make dating less frustrating to get into a successful relationship that ends up being long term?

[SeaStorm1]

I've been thinking that last year 2023 was a shit year for me. I did went on some dates with some guys but didn't last long from dating. One guy I found out that he was a player by seeing a post on Facebook was in a relationship with a woman and did ghost me too. I gave up on the first guy. The second guy was OK but only wanted a sexual relationship and a long term relationship. The second guy sent an ultimatum and the last one he did send was not compatible and I did block. The last guy from 2023 was a good first date but he did cancel two second dates. The first and second dates didn't happen because he couldn't make it one. Did re-arrange the second date but then it got cancelled again and he wasn't interested in continuing a relationship and wasn't ready for a new relationship. Now that it is 2024 I will be meeting up with a new guy. That I met through Facebook dating and have been messaging each from Instagram and is trying to get to know and make conversation. He did ask me out but did apologise after asking me out. I tried my best to be upfront and honest about what I want from men when it comes to dating and relationships. Going too fast has never seen an end well for me when it comes to relationships. That's why I prefer to go slow and get to know the person first before getting into a relationship.

Updates

3 mo

I'm not interested in having sex or being in a sexual relationship and refuse it. I never had any sex when I been on a date with any guys at all or when I been in relationship. I'm not a slut like some women are.

[Oliverlogan263]

Here are some tips for making dating less frustrating and finding a successful long-term relationship in 2024:

- Take things slow from the start. Don't rush into labels or commitments before really getting to know someone. That weeds out the players.

- Set clear expectations and communicate what you're looking for upfront - something long-term and serious, not just casual. That way you're on the same page.

- Go on lots of first dates to meet different guys and get a feel for chemistry before investing more time in any one person too soon. Keep your options open.

- Pay attention to how a guy treats you from the beginning. If he's disrespectful, inconsistent with plans or communication, see it as a red flag instead of making excuses for him.

- Don't get physical or intimate too soon. Make a guy wait and continue dating you based on the emotional connection you're building before sleeping together.

- Trust your gut feelings - if someone gives you bad vibes or seems shady, end it instead of ignoring red flags hoping he'll change.

- Have fun with it! Don't get too invested in any one outcome. Go in with an open mind and enjoy learning about different guys to find the right match.

- Communicate what you want for your future and don't compromise on what's most important to avoid future resentment down the line.

Stay optimistic - the right guy is out there, just focus on having fun getting to know different people until you find him! You got this girl.

[bobby_bush_eater]

I think you need to be super upfront about your intentions. Could that scare some dates away? Absolutely. Are those the kind of men who were planning long term and not planning on getting in your pants? Probably not.

If someone is also serious and looking for long term commitment they'll appreciate the upfront approach but also be clear that long term means slow. If you're clear with you expectations I think you'll be completely fine with some patience

[SeaStorm1]

Yep done this being upfront and honest about my Intention from start and still nothing
But only date or I just got toxic men before. when I did be upfront and honest about my Intention that always that are not upfront at lying and some guy thinking that I'm week link since I got mother issue.

[Finchie40]

You just got to keep trying , most of us encounter bad seeds before finding a good seed, especially these days , I feel social media played a big part on damaging the foundations of a relationship. Most people today only think about sex and money , So finding someone that is comfortable with you , that only has eyes for you , is sadly hard to find these days.

[wysiwyg2525]

Stop using dating apps to find a guy/girl. Apps make it easier to cheat and get free dates. Everyone who has a dating app always goes back to it for validation and curiosity. When act upon it even if it's just dinner it's still cheating. When on a date do not get on you phone give them 100%attention and Don have bikini pics on your social media and for guys shirtless pics. Be honest and accept people that are not modle like individuals. Be open minded when looking for guy/girl. Not everything has to be about sex. Both guys and girls think this right away at first thought then looks and then personality. Tale looks away and start with personality and you will see the guy/girl will be what your always been looking for. The avg Joe/Julia is what you want.

[SeaStorm1]

I can't find anyone in rl so how this going to work if i can't find anyone inrl that i'm attracted then . rl doesn't work to is shit to just like online dating. i been ghost in rl to.

[wysiwyg2525]

Do you have Society syndrome? Ate you the type of girl who seeks validation from social media and friends? Do you compare yourself to others? If you do all of that, then you're going to fail. Dating is not hard. It's easy getting a guy vs. a girl. The key is you got to jeep the relationship fresh like your first met them. Do not have a sexless relationship. Don't use work, that time if month, or you're tired as an excuse. The reason why I say this is that men are never tired for a woman who has their interest.

[wysiwyg2525]

See, guys are easy creatures to seduce and entertain. Women are harder because they ate believe, and 99% of the time, they want that messed up broken bad boy to save and fix and turn them into the guy they want with fails 100% of the time. Guys is always willing to go the extra mile to place a woman, so do what the guy does. It really simple. Start with food & beverage a small date, then offer him a massage. Guys never get that it's ways the woman is asking. Then do things that he has an interest in. Just don't be too fake. Give him space, too. It's ok to hang out with your friends, but send him a sexy message, and a simple ❤️ emoji goes a long way.

[wysiwyg2525]

When searching for a guy, stop the dating apps, and stop searching in all the places you have been. If you want to find a good guy, they are not online. The good guys are out hiking, coffee shops, brewery, ice cream shops, parks, local events like a commute summer sports program, i. e., kickball, softball, all they are out hi Join a local meetup program. There is a meetup app when you find meetup groups. 100% of the time, you will find they good guy that you want. Just remember, Goin for a guy that's a 10 won't work. You have to open up your horizon and don't base everything off of looks. Base it off of personality, communication, hygiene, and interest. Soon, you will see that looks don't mean everything when we have high standards. It's ok to lower your standard and stop paying attention to society and TV add on how a guy should look like. Just be you and be happy doing that. Good luck.

[SeaStorm1]

Again I’m can’t find any men attracted in rl since most of them already has got a girlfriend. no I don’t think I have Society syndrome? I don’t trust men inrl. Met tons of creeps some from real life. Again how this going to help with getting boyfriend is no one is single or already taken ,

[FenixG45]

Beats me! When you find The Holy Grail, let me know... please!