What's you biggest turn off when you getting to know someone?

[fafylone]

What are the things that of someone does then you will be turned off by it. Words or habits you notice that they have. And how you address it.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I might be an oddball but I actually don't like the ones who ask many questions. I start to feel as though I'm being interviewed or worse, interrogated, and the conversation starts to feel too one-sided where I'm sharing lots of things about me but they aren't sharing things about them unless I start forcefully asking them many questions in response.

I prefer conversations that tend to flow freely with minimal questions involved, just taking turns sharing our thoughts with each other. Like:

>> Acquaintance: I love pizza!
>> Me: Me too! My favorite is NY-style pepperoni.
>> Acquaintance: I actually love pineapple pizza.
>> Me: That's my second favorite topping! Do you know [insert pizza place]?

Something like that. There's a question here and there that naturally arises but not like:

>> Me: Me too! My favorite is NY-style pepperoni. What's your favorite pizza topping?

The worst for me is when I feel like I'm being interviewed.

>> Acquaintance: What's your favorite food?
>> Me: Pizza!
>> Acquaintance: What's your favorite color?
>> Me: Red.
>> Acquaintance: What's your job?

I start to feel like I'm talking to a robot.

[fafylone]

I am facing the problem here lol I got you

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Cheers! One thing that took me aback is that failing to ask questions often might be taken as a sign of a lack of interest. I might need to reconsider my communication style with some people and ask more questions. My favorite conversations are typically when we just take turns sharing things without having to prompt each other so much with Qs, letting the conversation go freely to all sorts of places.

I am admittedly a bit self-absorbed though, yet my yearning is often to find someone who's as open to share things about themselves as I enjoy doing and just take turns that way. Might be an ENFP thing.

[fafylone]

I am Entp but I am not into mbti stuff. For me I love to discuss in deep shit like philosophy, religion, life purposes, mental health issues... etc but many people around are close minded. I love to debate but with who? Lol that why I am here in this site.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

I'm also into the deep shit, but maybe less so the debate. I love to learn not so much what someone's philosophical views are, for example, but how they came to arrive at them. Their childhood, their values, their hopes and dreams. It helps me to empathize and help me see the world through a different set of eyes.

[fafylone]

Damn you are the romantic type lol nice answer!!

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Possibly a hopeless one! 😂 I think some of it has to do with conflict-aversion as well. I am getting too old and tired these days to get into needless arguments, even formal debates so careful to avoid logical fallacies.

So, for example, say I express a love for something, and another person hates it and tells me it sucks. When I was younger and had more energy to get into arguments, I might try to passionately defend my opinion.

But these days I prefer to just say, "Well, I came to love this because [share how I came to love it]." Then if the person if generous, what I'm hoping they do is they share with me how they came to hate it and think it's terrible. The result is hopefully some degree of mutual understanding. I might still love this thing and the other person might still hate it, but maybe now we understand each other better and might even be able to become friends.

At least that's my hope with my favored communication style these days. It doesn't always work out. Sometimes I just try to share a lot of things about myself and the other person doesn't share anything at all and then insults me.😅

[fafylone]

How you manage to meet those trash ass people. You seem cool and out going.

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

Mostly on the internet! It's rare that I meet such people in person. I'm not quite as outgoing as I used to be. Might need to work on that a bit. I've grown into a homebody over the pandemic spending a little too much time on the internet, but thanks very much and cheers!

[Whitewulf]

I also love those types of conversations. Try to figure out what makes people tic. But most shy away from anything go serious

[GuyAnswersGirls123]

@Whitewulf I find it difficult as well to have that type of conversation where we take turns deeply sharing what makes us tick. 🍻 One of the most appealing qualities of my wife is that she is one of the rare people I met who communicates maximally this way.

I think my focus shifted to becoming more interested in the subjective qualities of what make us all tick in large part due to the information age. Before broadband internet and the likes of Google searches became a household thing, it was difficult to look up new information; I'd often have to go to the local library and sift through books and papers.

So back then if I met, say, a history teacher in a bar, I'd be plenty interested in just learning more about generalized history from them. That's still very interesting to me especially if they're very skilled at teaching laymen such subjects, but especially since I can learn plenty these days just from my smartphone with some Google searches, the subjective qualities started to interest me a lot more like, "What made you fall in love with history? Is there a particular period, civilization, or culture that especially fascinates you?"

Those types of subjective questions started to become the most interesting to me since it's the type of information I can't ever find in a Google search. It's the type of question for which the particular individual is the sole authority on the subject. Also if their enthusiasm rubs off on me, it tends to inspire me more to start learning these subjects on my own while I simultaneously get to feel like I better know who they are and what makes them tick.

[incorrected]

If they make no effort and show me no interest, i. e. if I feel like I'm doing all the work, that completely turns me off because that's what it's going to be like with them for the rest of time, and who wants that?

[LaurenM1997]

• Burping
• picking their noses
• Leaving the toilet seat up
• slurping juice
• not having any respect for me

[LaurenM1997]

Starting arguments over nothing
Going hot and cold on me

[fafylone]

You mean emotional type?

[LaurenM1997]

Yes that one I’ve had that in the past

[fafylone]

I was surprised about the first one on your list because it is natural for HUMANS to do it. But they have to cover their mouth doing it.

[LaurenM1997]

What I meant by burping is to burp loud a few times and not say pardon or pardon me

[fafylone]

Oh I see now. The lack of manners is biggest turn off indeed

[LaurenM1997]

Absolutely

[IslaTheWitch]

lack of hygiene
expressing hatred against whomever
aggressive demeanor
lying & gossiping

[loveslongnails]

People who don't shut up and go on and on about themselves, or any topic, are a turn-off. Selfishness and narcissism are huge red flags.

[fafylone]

Yess!!! They don't ask you questions too. Damn I know many people of this type.

[loveslongnails]

I'd say roughly 1/2 the people you meet fall into this category, unfortunately. (PS> you have beautiful hair!)

[fafylone]

Yes! And thanks for your kind words 😊🤗

[loveslongnails]

YW. message me if you like.

[NathanDavis]

when they happen to be racist...

or sexist, homophobic... xenophobic

basically... anyone that holds hatred towards others... instant turn off for me, and a deal breaker too

[catsmemoir]

If they start using words from the Leftist lexicon its a pretty good indicator we won't get along.

[rebeliouse]

turn off is girl that is not confident and cocky and not scared of been sexual in conversation hate ones thats all shy and oh thats rude so im not going to talk

[rebeliouse]

also girls that dont follow u on gag lol

[fafylone]

Girl who doesn't follow me?

[rebeliouse]

follow me lol

[fafylone]

Oh wow lol okay mister !

[rebeliouse]

why not

[exitseven]

If they are flaming liberals and actually believe all that crap

[aceleon]

her having other guys before me

her being a feminist

herhaving male friends

her feeding habits if they involve things i am disgusted by

her having piercings.

[Whitewulf]

once you start to get really close. I don’t want to hear about it or know about it because it isn’t true. But girls don’t poop. And that’s how I want to keep it in my mind. Lol

[EagerAmber]

It just depends on the person, you risk many things by doing things this way but it all depends on what you are seeking from it truthfully

[fafylone]

What you mean? I didn't get.

[Zestyassmf1997]

They don’t ask any questions when you talk to them. Big sign that they’re self centered.

[KittygosMeoWW]

Other than the normal stuff like hygiene lol I cannot stand people that are self entitled and rude to service workers.

[Squatting_Slav]

Sounds bad but bad hygeine... Can't be around that

[KittygosMeoWW]

lol think it’s so gross when some girls only wash their hair once a week or once every two weeks 🤮

[Squatting_Slav]

@KittygosMeoWW or dudes who can't wash their armpits

[KittygosMeoWW]

Weirdly like when the guy I’m seeing smells a little like armpit after the gym

[AydenHazor]

When they're rude to people they view as lesser than then

[Sonorous]

Maybe if they're like a serial killer or something

[Miah04]

The moment they begin looking down or others, and treating them disrespectful for no reason

[laly520]

poor hygiene

[fafylone]

Like how?

[laly520]

dirty teeth
stinky smell
etc

[fafylone]

Ah okayy you are right !

[Kelly6]

People who lie

[Jamie05rhs]

Entitlement.