Can my boyfriend love me but still not see me as a priority?

[Anonymous]

[Finchie40]

If you aren’t his top priority , then sadly to say he truly doesn’t love you , he just likes the convenience of you , if he treats you like an option , that’s something only you can figure out and decide , through my experiences in relationships , never stay with someone that doesn’t make you their top priority , you will only be hurting yourself thinking that person loves you the same way you love them. They might care about you but they aren’t in love with you , if you aren’t their top priority , being an option to someone just means they can easily replace you if things don’t go their way. For any relationship to last and for love to grow between 2 people , both people need to make each other their top priority over everyone else in this world period , if you can’t choose your partner the same way you expect them to choose you , then you are just wasting your time pretending to love someone that you really don’t love , No relationship is perfect , but when you find someone that chooses you the same way you choose them that’s where love grows. If you are just an option , you are wasting your time thinking that partner is eventually going to love you back the same , you are just a convenience to them until something better comes along , Don’t waste your time with someone like that , Lofe is too short to be an option to someone

[Asker]

He puts golf as his priority , saying that he will earn a lot of money from it and provide for others. We tall every day and he always try to find time to video chat

[Finchie40]

Then that’s a good sign , Are you on a relationship with him or just starting to get to know each other?

[abc3643]

"A priority", he will see.
The "top priority" he may refuse.

Males are evolved to detect threats and act on them; his and his family's survival become paramount. As such, your needs that have nothing to do with your collective survival will become secondary.

A male is basically a biological robot evolved to protect you and ensure that you can do your job.
So, if your "priority" is something like "I just need him to listen as I whine about my issues and problems.", he may tune out a bit. If your "priority" is "Hey, I am getting sick" or "Hey, I am going to lose my job", well those are survival related and will be focused on those.

[PeachyPie93]

I would say no. Actions speak louder than words.
I had a guy for a full year tell me he loves me and I was sooooooo in love with him. I dismissed all his selfish bullshit, let things slide just for him to come out and say "I love you but I am not In love with you". I was so stupid because it was all blatantly in my face but he kept dragging me back with his words. After he told me that he kept saying "I don't want to lose you, I do love you, I'm just not ready right now". Never trust a guy that doesn't make you feel loved. For real it is all lies. And this is from a guy I was friends with for years.

[Asker]

He puts golf as his priority , saying that he will earn a lot of money from it and provide for others

[PeachyPie93]

Well if he is actually putting golf first for an actual serious career. Than yeah maybe that is the truth because to be an athlete you do have to be selfish and put others aside to actually be successful in it.
If he isn't in the big leagues he is just lying though lol.

[miana]

Well no cause someone that loves you won't make you feel not loved and feeling loved you'd feel prioritized

[Asker]

He puts golf as his priority , saying that he will earn a lot of money from it and provide for others

[JacobJordan]

Absolutely. Guys are rational and logical so he will prioritize what needs to be done. Example being

1 gotta come up with the money to keep my place

2 gotta make sure I get food

3 make sure I shower, clean myself

4 make sure I wash my clothes

5 spend time with the woman I love.

This does not mean you are the least important all of those could be equally important. If you make the list of priorities at all that is a good thing. If you don't make it all then you should start asking questions

[BoopBoopBeep]

Depends on what you're calling a priority and what that means to you. You're sad so you want him to stay home? Can't do that. Ran out of sick time at work (or whatever). doesn't' mean you don't matter, it means the world doesn't revolve around you and isn't going to wait for your time table. You didn't give us context, so it's hard to answer accurately.

[Asker]

He puts golf as his priority , saying that he will earn a lot of money from it and provide for others

[BoopBoopBeep]

Is he good enough where that is likely or is he like every dumb ho with an internet connection that says she's "an influencer?"

[SotiCoto]

Obviously. Some people really don't want to accept this... but pair-bonding is largely an arrangement of convenience where people will co-operate to achieve mutual goals, but otherwise they still have their own lives to live, their own aspirations to pursue, etc.
What it is NOT is someone signing over their life to become someone else's property.
If you're with someone and don't regard them as an equal, but regard their servitude to you as a binding obligation... then you don't belong in a relationship at all.

[Kelley1]

He can love you as a person even if you are not desirable enough to marry.

[Asker]

He puts golf as his priority , saying that he will earn a lot of money from it and provide for others

[undertaker007]

Does he want to be a golfer

[undertaker007]

Professionally

[Asker]

@undertaker007 yes

[undertaker007]

Then if dream is important so the only I would say encourage him when he is down. Maybe after he becomes a professional then you can be priority. Look at Ronald and his wife as an example (soccer reference). Learn the game and play or find something you’re passionate about and do that instead of thinking about him. You have time to spend with him at night unless he really doesn’t spend no time with you.

[incorrected]

No. It doesn't matter whether he thinks he loves you or not, or what he says, if you're not a priority, he doesn't really love you. Having said that, what does it mean to you to be a priority? I'm not accusing, but I also know that sometimes unreasonable demands not being met all the time can be interpreted as not being put first, and without details of what he's putting before you and when...

[Asker]

He puts golf as his priority , saying that he will earn a lot of money from it and provide for others

[incorrected]

My first question is really secondary to the point, but how is he going to make money from golf exactly? The more important question would be, can you think of any concrete examples of where he prioritised golf over you, and what would you have preferred he be doing?

As a side note, which really inspired the first question and is likely entirely unrelated to your issue, I knew a man who used golf and fishing as a means to get space to cheat... Now, every time I hear about golf being a problem, I can't help thinking of that lol. Are there any strange behaviours related to this golf thing, like getting all dressed up and new aftershave and so on, or returning with a strange mood that doesn't seem to be explained by anything related to his golfing day?

[HappyWoman34]

Possibly; but do you really want to be last on his list of priorities? You deserve better

[Asker]

He puts golf as his priority , saying that he will earn a lot of money from it and provide for others

[Joshydavid25]

It depends on what you mean by priority.. I'm guessing it's the more vague version meaning a priority in general, and I would say no.. I mean he shouldn't make you his everything, but you should be important enough for him not to be selfish..

[laly520]

not possible
if he loves u then u will be his priority

[Asker]

He puts golf as his priority , saying that he will earn a lot of money from it and provide for others

[laly520]

normally u would come before golf

[slatyb]

"Love?" What does that mean. It doesn't matter whether he thinks he's in love with you. The only thing that matters is whether you feel loved. Do you?

[boggboss]

Yes love has nothing to do with ones ability to make a relationship work

[Paris13]

Yeas. Like Some Trophy Wife. The Pitts. xxoo

[Karp24]

Define priority. If it's not in the top ten reasons to see you he's either not into you or a writer for Dave Letterman inspired comedy.

[ProbablyClueless]

Seems possible, yes.

[RedInnocent68]

Yes. Especially, career-driven professionals.

[undertaker007]

Does he want to be golfer

[Zestyassmf1997]

I’d lean towards no.

[KTSjobs]

Very possible; humans are different

[ImalwaysrightOK]

Nope

[KrakenAttackin]

Not likely.