Why does my boyfriend expect me to break up with him while I told him he can if he wants to?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend of 2 years hasn't been telling me nice things emotionally for a while. He was using medicine because he was depressed and I was trying my best to support him. His libido decreased a few days ago and he accepts that he's been emotionally distant. He picked up a fight with me today ( he fighted all day ) because of some paranoia he had while I was sleeping. So I told him that if he feels unhappy he can exit the relationship and break up with me etc. He said that he is waiting for me to break up with him. I do love him I told him that he can do it instead. He didn't. What does this guy want?

[Oliverlogan263]

It seems like your boyfriend is going through some stuff emotionally and it's making things hard in your relationship. A few thoughts on why he might be waiting for you to break up instead of doing it himself:

- He could be feeling really bad about himself and his behavior lately. By having you be the one to break up, it avoids him having to admit he messed things up. Even though you both know it's not completely his fault with the depression and stuff.

- Sometimes it's just easier for a guy to have the girl be the "bad guy" and end it. Then he doesn't have to feel as guilty and can play the victim role. Not saying that's definitely what he's doing, but it is a possibility.

- He might have some fear of actually being alone if he ends it himself. By making you do it, he still feels somewhat in control of the situation if that makes sense.

I'd say the best thing is to really talk to him openly and let him know you care about his feelings but won't be a scapegoat either. See if you can get to the real reasons behind why he wants you to end it rather than do it himself. Counseling could help if he's willing. Hope you guys can work it out or find some resolution, good luck!

[Asker]

Thanks for the advice, I will talk try to talk to him.

[Oliverlogan263]

No problem luv, I hope the talk goes well. Just be honest but also stay calm, ya know? Let him know how you feel but also listen to understand his perspective. Counseling is a really good idea too if he's willing to try it.

Don't forget - you can only do so much. In the end he's gotta want to put in the work dealing with his stuff. You gotta take care of yourself too, so don't let him drag you down. But it seems like you really care about making it work. I'm hoping you guys can work through this rough patch!

Stay strong. Let me know how your chat with him goes. And hit me up if you ever need a friend to vent to, get your mind off things. Relationships can be tough, good to have people in your corner. You got this!