Should I handle my boyfriend flaking on me directly or passively?

[Radiate143]

I've known my boyfriend for about 2 years, started dating a year ago and had a few blips on the way with a long NC from me for about 6 months when he was pursuing me.

We have been on again for about a month and we first were intimate about 2 months ago.

I wouldn't say he is low effort but he is medium effort and pretty inexperienced. He fumbles a lot but does stop things that bother me.

We slept together this weekend and made plans to meet the next day, Sunday at 4.

Well, he flaked on me then sent me "good morning" text after leaving me on delivered the entire day. He probably went out with a buddy.

He has never done anything like that before. I feel it was a power move to see if he can be lazy.

I can address it and talk it out or I can act like nothing happened (which he hopes I will do) and do the same thing to him when he asks to get together again.

They say I can show you better than I can tell you. Guys which is more effective to deal with this very disrespectful behaviour?

I AM USING THIS POLL TO HELP ME DECIDE.

Poll Below.

Direct -- talk it out and give him a chance to make it up

Play it cool and flake on him back.

[Anonymous]

Ahh, I am beginning to see what is up as of now. He got what he wanted the night before and when something maybe "Better" Cam up for the next day, he gave you a text of no way. I would not care for it. Do not allow this to continue where he takes advantage of you one day or another and flakes on you with something else that he feels is having it his own way. Talk it over ASAP!

[Opinion Owner]

Thank You, dear. xx

[WhitneySnow]

I think you should be direct and talk it out with him

[boggboss]

So u have to choice to attempt to address the issue or instead get payback on him I guess the question here is do u want a actual functional relationship or just fun

[Radiate143]

We've come a long way but guys, especially who aren't yet mature, will try stuff like this. I want a functional relationship but you also have to meet people where they are at times. I hate passive-agressive but a lot of guys don't take words seriously.

[boggboss]

How will u being passive aggressive sort or fix the situation if he is immature as u say u doing the same thing to him won't make him see he fucked up but will make him react negatively towards u

[Radiate143]

No, it will make him chase. It's this dynamic O don't like though. I don't want to use his anxiety against him.

[boggboss]

So u don't want to do it but are fine with doing it anyway and them wonder why he feels no need to mature when u are willing to act as immature as him?

[Radiate143]

I never saod I was going to do that exactly. I am just wo during what will be the best way to handle it. It's clearly an attempt to lower my standards.

[boggboss]

Well thats the thing if u want to do what he does to you then why would he ever change even then staying with a guy that u already know is immature and expecting to change is pretty silly in the first place

[Radiate143]

He made a lot of progress and wanted a chance.

[boggboss]

Then continue to treat the situation maturely and model the behaviour u would expect from him

[Radiate143]

Ok, will do.

[JayBones]

Passive aggression is always a hit with males. Not only do they pick up on it instantly, they appreciate you when you do it...

[Radiate143]

Why?

[JayBones]

I was being passive aggressive...

[JHAYES317]

If he flaked on you once…don’t confront him about it…but if it happens two times, have a convo about it. Three times, couples counseling time

[Deserter2]

Put your stinky feet in his face and tell him "Don't You Do That Again!"

[Radiate143]

Lol!

[laly520]

the more direct the better

[Radiate143]

He said he was tired from the night before.

[Anonymous]

he's not interested anymore

[Radiate143]

He messaged me that he was exhausted from the day before. In the past I've flipped out on him and he may have been avoiding that. He's posting all sorts of love songs which is annoying because i like direct communication and he doesn't.

[Opinion Owner]

I had a girl after a first date flake on me 3 times in a row, it just means someone is not interested anymore if they flake

[Radiate143]

Well we are way past the first date phase but, I hear you.

[Opinion Owner]

Usually when people flake in any situation they are just not interested or no longer interested

[Ms_Facesitter]

Direct always.