My boyfriend jokes are too much?

[Anonymous]

I have been dating this guy for 4 years now
we live together ever since he started to mock me and make insulting jokes as just joking
whenever I asked him why he would say he is only teasing me and kidding

Updates

1 y

Thank you everyone! I talked with him about it and he said he will stop itI made it clear if he repeats it then I will break up with him

[Screenwriter]

I think this relationship has run its course. This guy has chosen you as his punching bag. He is NOT teasing. He is abusive. The only way to end this is to leave.

He will apologize and gaslight you: What are you complaining about. You know teasing means I love you. Why are you making such a big deal about this. You're crazy.

If you hear ANY of these lines, this is an assurance that this man will not stop.

I'm very sorry to tell you this, but you may realize it already and you're just seeking assurance.

Get to a good therapist for support, or ask good friends and family. If they don't support you because he, "makes a good salary," or other such bullshit, or is "reliable"... ignore this and pack your bags and find somewhere to live in peace.

You're very young and there are many men out there who will NOT mistreat you in this manner.

[Serenitykayyy]

It’s disrespectful especially if he knows it hurts your feelings. Try telling him to stop doing that and if he continues to do that or disregards your feelings, then you know.

[Purpleronnie]

I’m sorry to hear that , That stinks of insecurity and a need for control. This is not joking , this is actually abuse !. Given that you have invested so much in the relationship you clearly care for him deeply but I do worry for you that you haven’t been able to confront him over this. This makes me think that you have self worth and confidence issues, perhaps this is because of him. This is toxic and really unhealthy for both of you. My advice is to end the relationship and to make sure he understands why

[OlderAndWiser]

"You call this a joke? A joke is when you say something and somebody else laughs. You say your 'jokes' and I'm crying. If you really care about me, you'll stop. . . now! And if you don't stop, that wil make breaking up a little easier for me. So, it's up to you. What are you gonna do?"

[LaFemmeFatale_1]

Joke that hurts is not a joke.

Why don’t you show him the doorway?

[JacobJordan]

Those aren't jokes dear. He is harassing you and then lying to you. I sometimes make silly jokes with my wife when she messes up words for example (English is not her first language) the big thing is we are both very much laughing about it. But I have never demeaned, insulted or put down my wife and I certainly would lie about it being a joke. I don't insult people much to begin because it isn't a joke so it requires intent. You need to get out and quickly

[Unycorn]

I would tell him that it hurts you and ask him to stop.

If he doesn't stop, you'll know that he doesn't respect you. Then I would leave him. That's no basis.

[Unycorn]

Well done! Wish you 2 the best for your future

[strateguy632]

when he starts mocking you, point out "that hurts it is not funny." then he will say "just joking" then you say "stop those jokes." then he mocks again and you dump him.

[serious]

That is not good at all. You should have a serious conversation with him about this. He needs to stop this otherwise break will be the last option.

[dustybiker2]

You are supposed to feel safe in a relationship. If you don't, you start asking, why. Such as here. You already know he's not the right man for you. Listen to your gut.

[fantasticass]

He's abusive. Make a plan to leave him. Emotional Abuse is not healthy. Don't put up with his behavior. He's extremely insecure and it will lead to problems

[RavVid]

It is a poor indicator. I have seen a guy to do this to my friend. Put downs are put downs and humor is just a way of getting away with. Walk away.

[ImalwaysrightOK]

It sounds very mean spirited. Dump his ass.

[Antheadragoon96]

Jokes? That guy ain’t joking. He’s out rightly insulting you. in my opinion people sprinkle a bit of their honest feelings in their “jokes”. Show him the door love

[LivingExample]

You need to bring it to his attention and tell him he needs to Stop!

[noohair]

He knows you by now. I don't think he can change back.

[slatyb]

That is abusive and intolerable. DTMFA.

[stratford]

What sort of jokes?

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Joke back. Don't take life to seriously.

[myloveforuisinfinte]

True😂😂

[DreamLife7]

He doesn't like u lol

[Anonymous]

What were some of his jokes?

[Asker]

saying I am dumb and saying he won't be surprised if I end up losing the way back home

[Opinion Owner]

How did he say it tho

[Asker]

while kidding in a funny tone

[Opinion Owner]

He said it in a funny tone. So he was just joking but didn't see that it hurt your feelings. Good thing you spoke up about it. 👍🏻

[Anonymous]

He doesn’t respect you.

[Anonymous]

he's just joking i think

[Unycorn]

The freedom of one person ends where the freedom of another begins. Making jokes that are hurtful is not okay. It shows that you don't take the person seriously and don't respect them

[Unycorn]

Besides, it's lowbrow to make jokes at the expense of others

[Anonymous]

He needs to stop if you do not think it is funny

[KrakenAttackin]

Give examples.

[Asker]

he would mock my cooking saying it sucks meanwhile it does not
he would comment and joke about my intelligence

[KrakenAttackin]

Asker... do you make similar comments and he is retaliating? Do you belittle him in other ways?

[Asker]

I never make similar comments and jokes like that

[strateguy632]

if a guy told me my cooking sucks, while eating, i would interpreted as a tease and say "still better than YOURS" but guys are different. if he pushed the plate away saying that, then when you say, "you hurt my feelings" he said just joking, that might indicate a communication issue.

[jaskin777]

Time to break up

[Anonymous]

😆😆😆