Who should pay for the first and second date?

[Anonymous]

I have been on several dates, which dinner being as high as £198 ($250), this was just for the first date and now dinner in London has gone up to an average to £60 ($76) for two people

Most dates, men have asked me out so I expect them to pay, and after a few dates I realise they aren't serious about me so
I stop talking to them, isn't this fair?

The way I see it, if a man asks a woman out, he pays especially if he is just wanting to fck about with her and is not serious

If a woman asks a man out, then she pays, isn't that how it works?

Man should pay

Woman should pay

Equal

Updates

+1 y

Like if i asked a man out, then I would pay

Updates

+1 y

By the way most of these dates I had, the men paid for all of the dates I had with them, they paid for the first 4 dates at least

[jadspop]

Typically I think the rule of, he asked he should pay is decent, but the argument that if she asks she should pay is a shit argument. Cuz some 90 % of ladies dont ask guys out. I'm not saying they're arnt girls out there that do... but it's not very common. That's like saying when I go skydiving I'll be the one to take pictures knowing I'm never going to go...

To make things simple I think of a guy asks you out be should pay. If he dosent have a lot of money he should pick a place he can afford. But I also think you should have the money prepared just in case. And if you can't afford that, then once your asked your should let them know you can't afford a date right now. Chances are they will confirm they will pay at that point.

I don't think you should split the first date.
The second date maybe if he's more interested in collaboration to make sure it's a fun night. Like if I said I was thinking about going to X or Y for the next date and if you could help makes it happen. But I wouldn't expect you to pay anything.

But with the way today's dating is going. It would also be smart for you to be prepared to pay half. If it comes up then you can smoothly take care of it with little drama and if it's a deal breaker then don't go for another date.

And for the love of God don't offer to pay half if it's just a test. Guys might say yes just to see if your bluffing. Don't play games. Be up front so even if what you do misses them off you can tell them that you already told them and if they're upset that's on them for agreeing to it

[RavVid]

Hmmh. I have no understanding how much those amounts are. It is relative to what one earns above the fundamental expenses of life which is going to be different. Average income appears to be 50,000 pounds which would be about 30 pounds an hour.

So a 200 pound meal would close to a full day of work at average income. An average meal of 60 pounds would be two hours work at average.

At most I have paid two hours of work for a meal but in Australia fine dining is more reasonable would be more like 1 hour of work.

You are only going to get a 2 hours of work diner out of me at best. A day of work out of me to pay for a dinner is over the top and unrealistic.

[wiltingrosepetal]

The dates I go on don't end with us receiving a cheque. I've driven to the beach with a guy and listened to music while chatting, or ate pizza as we watched the sun set (I recommend it), or cuddled as we binged some anime 😭 why do people act like every date has to have a cheque? I don't get it.

[Unit1]

I love this! I need to do this too! Dating doesn't have to be a pain in the butt but many people make it so.

[RavVid]

Exactly right - they don't have to have a large bill. Some of the most pleasant things like sunsets don't cost at all.

I'm not going to quibble at a bill if I am doing the asking and the choosing of the establishment. If I was given to understand the girl had "standards" that needed to be met then it wouldn't proceed obviously.

[laly520]

depends on couple

for us, he is the one who always pays

[HawkPerception]

I believe in going dutch. Each of you pays for yourself.

So what if the guy asked you out? Are you not also interested in going out with him? Do you think your time is more valuable than his that he has to pay for it?

And if you're both paying for yourselves, no one expects anything from the other. And if you decide to go separate ways after, there's no hard feelings.

It also prevents the guy feeling like he was used for a free meal.

It also creates a good impression of the girl if she's willing to pay for herself. It shows she's bringing something to the table.

I personally make it a point to tell a girl I'm going dutch before a date and if she doesn't agree to that, then it saves time. It's a good filter.

[Flatmanlewis]

First and second, the man. After that if she hasn’t invited me someplace or asked me out then I’ll start to assume I’m wasting my time. This could be as simple as inviting me for a cocktail after the dinner & date, coffee some morning, or just a cheap lunch date. Even if just to show she’s interested in spending time with me behind just getting the free meal. This of course is rhetorical since I’m a married man now.

[Lionman95]

I clicked for equal because I go with the same rule as you meaning when I ask out a woman I pay but when she asks me out I expect her to pay. That´s something I tell her on the first date.

[Billlewis]

I always pay for every date she goes on, and if the date is with another guy, that makes it even more exciting to pay for.

[aceleon]

if the girl does not at least pay for her own thing there won't be a second date, i am not your classic guys.

[Anonymous]

It is the man's job to pursue the woman, and paying for early dates is part of that. Sorry guys, that's just the way it is, and always will be.

[Billlewis]

Oh, you don't have to apologize for your opinion, ma'am. It's honestly refreshing to hear a woman say that for a change ❤️

[Opinion Owner]

@Billlewis Come on now Bill, we all know you're a woman.

[spartan55]

Nobody has to 'pursue' anyone. It's a stupid premise and very antiquated. Women claim it's the guy's job as an excuse to not do anything towards building a connection. Nope.

[MikeTheBartender]

I make good money. Women with me almost never pay. Not a big deal to me but I do feel for my broke friends.

[spartan55]

I bet every guy you get a free meal from ends up 'not being serious' no matter what.

[Berethor]

No matter who ask, everyone should pay for themselves, why he should pay for a stranger?

[butterly248]

Always equal! And why on earth would you have such an expensive first date 😂

[Asker]

I didn't realise that the bill would be as high as that, plus it was a famous location called the Aqua Shard in London

[butterly248]

Anything to do in Central London is mostly expensive lol

[butterly248]

How did you not know this lol

[spartan55]

She knew... come on. She didn't think she was going to Taco Bell.

[Unit1]

I make it clear, that we'll pay separately on date 1. This will filter out all gold diggers and dine-and-dash females.

[Cazaputas]

Always the woman, I would never spend my money on a woman.

[Anonymous]

It should be equal. It's 2024 for fuck sake, there is lireally no valid excuse now for women not paying for their share.

[KrakenAttackin]

Why don't you find less expensive activities?

[electromagnetic]

Who ever asked for the date.

[sheikalana]

Whoever invites or whoever offers to pay.

[Fireguy17]

Who cares?
To me it doesn't matter who pays.

[LucasKane7]

Always man should pay. We must gentleman.

[shortster]

The person who invited the other out on a date.

[war_daddy]

equal otherwise someone is just getting free meals

[exitseven]

The guy should pay

[XXblack88]

Equal

[Kelly6]

50/50